


Paper Rings

by patmvrray (spider_boi)



Category: Undrafted (2016)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, like extremely slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:40:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 52,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22316476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spider_boi/pseuds/patmvrray
Summary: Pat Murray and Belle Ramos have been best friends for years. Nothing could come between them. Maybe except for some pesky romantic feelings.
Relationships: Pat Murray/Original Female Character(s), Pat Murray/You
Comments: 7
Kudos: 3





	1. Prologue

**_Ten years ago…_ **

A warm summer breeze blew across Belle’s face. The bright rays of the sun making her squint as she watched the other kids push each other around the playground. She sat by the sandbox, stick in hand, while she drew patterns onto the sand. A tree there and sun by the corner and a little girl in the middle. Belle admired her work and clutched the stick to her chest.

“That looks really cool.” A voice came from behind her. She turned and saw a boy about her age, peering over her shoulder. He had red hair that looked almost fiery in the summer sun. He held a small ball in his hand and dirt covered his forearms.

“Thanks. I think it’s cool too.”

“I like your tree.” The boy pointed at her drawing.

“Thanks. Do you wanna try?” Belle held the stick out for him. He sat down beside her and took the stick. He tried to draw a little dog. Or a cat. Snake? Belle wasn’t exactly sure what he tried to draw. The boy huffed in frustration. Tiny hands balled into tiny fists.

“I’m no good.” He mumbled, cheeks turning almost as red as his hair. 

“What is that?” She asked, curious as to what the misshapen picture in the sand was.

“A boy playing baseball.” A giggle came from her when she finally saw the shape of the baseball bat and the boy’s head. “It’s garbage, I know.”

“It’s not that bad.” She told him. Belle quite liked his drawing beside hers. The boy made a face and was about to say something when a ball came rolling to her feet, easily destroying the drawing she had made in the sand. Disappointment and sadness came over her. The boy looked at her crestfallen expression and immediately stood up. 

“Hey! Watch where you throw that thing!” He raised his voice at the group of kids on the other side of the playground.

“It was an accident! Can you throw the ball back?” One of the other boys yelled back.

“Only if you say sorry to her for ruining her drawing!” Her newfound friend crossed his arms. Belle looked up at him in confusion.

“What?” The other boy was confused.

“Say sorry!”

“Sorry.” The boy said. She nodded. Her friend glared at him before picking up the ball and throwing it at the other side with too much force that it had the other group of kids ducking. They shouted at him but he ignored them all.

“Sorry that your drawing’s ruined.” The red-haired boy beside her sat down again.

“It’s fine we can do another one.” She pulled her stick through the sand and recreated the drawing. In a few seconds, her little hands had created a new drawing. “There.”

The two of them looked at her drawing before the boy spoke up. “Do you wanna play catch with me?” He held out his baseball.

“How do you play catch with a ball that small?” She had never caught a ball as small as that. 

“It’s easy. I’ll teach you.” He quickly stood up and held his hand out to her.

“Okay.” She took his hand and pulled herself up.

“I’m Pat, by the way.”

_Pat._

“I’m Belle.” She introduced herself.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Pat began to teach her how to play the game he called baseball. The drawing she made already forgotten. The summer breeze blowing away the little girl and boy holding hands in the sand.


	2. Chapter 2

Tapping her foot impatiently, Belle waited for the door to open. Time was ticking and she could not afford to be late today. _Oh, Pat was gonna get it._ Finally, the door swung open. Brian Murray stood in the doorway and smiled when he saw her.

“Good morni-”

He wasn’t able to greet her properly since the small girl had pushed past him and ran up the stairs. Brian shook his head and closed the door. He hoped his son was up and ready to go or else… Well, Pat knew better than to get on Belle’s bad side. After bounding up the last few steps, she arrived at Pat’s door. She knocked on the door but received no response.

“Pat?” She called through the door. Still nothing. “Fuck it. I’m coming in.”

She pushed the door open and found her best friend still sprawled on his bed. A trail of drool dripped from the corner of his mouth, making her scrunch her nose in disgust. Then she remembered the time and quickly grabbed the pillow that fell on the floor. She glared at his disheveled auburn hair framing his face and threw the pillow at his form. Instantly, Pat awoke with an anger that could shake an entire nation.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” His blurry sight cleared and saw a very angry Belle Ramos standing at the foot of his bed with her arms crossed.

“Get the fuck up.” Was all she said.

“What time is it?” He asked, rubbing the sleep out of his face.

“Late and I can’t afford to be late today.” She turned to his closet and pulled out a random pair of jeans and a shirt and threw it at his face.

“What’s happening today?” Pat asked then the realization hit him. “Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, oh shit. That big chemistry test’s today and you know how Mrs. Thompson is with latecomers.” Pat stood up quickly and started changing while she paced back and forth. Her hands came up to grasp at her once-perfect waves in stress. Pat zipped up his pants. “She’s gonna lock me out and I won’t be able to take the test and I’ve been studying for weeks. If I don’t take the test, I’ll fail the whole class and I do not want to fail this class.”

“You’re not gonna fail. Now, come on.” Pat threw on his shirt as he watched Belle’s back before grabbing his bag and her hand. He practically dragged her down the stairs while she continued to spew her fears over the test. Pat pulled her into the kitchen and plucked the paper bag and keys from the kitchen counter. Brian Murray didn’t even look up from his morning paper as the pair rushed out of the house. This was pretty normal behavior for the two.

Pat and Belle got into his car and buckled in. Pat pulled out of the driveway and drove faster than the law would allow but did he care right now? _Absolutely not._ The auburn-haired boy put the brown paper bag into Belle’s lap. She eagerly took one of the sandwiches he packed and began to eat. A silence came over them, the only sound heard was the whirr of the engine.

“Patty, I’m really scared.” Belle broke the silence, her hands squishing the ham and cheese. Pat glanced at her quickly before he took one of her hands away from the sandwich. Belle’s heart started to race. She blamed it on the nerves.

“Hey, you’ll be fine. You’ve been working so hard.” Pat reassured her.

“But what if it isn’t enough?” Belle’s palms were getting sweaty. She could feel it. Pat rubbed assuring circles on the back of her hand.

“It will be. I know it.” Pat said it so confidently that some of her worries faded. He squeezed her hand tightly and let go to put both hands on the wheel. Both of their hands feeling weirdly cold afterward. The rest of the drive to school was quiet and when Pat managed to find a parking spot ten minutes before Mrs. Thompson’s class, it was even quieter.

Belle allowed Pat to lead her to her classroom. He did know her schedule by heart. They stopped right by the door. Some of the other students in Mrs. Thompson’s 9am chemistry class were still filing into the room. Belle was about to walk in when Pat tugged at her hand and stopped her. “Patty, I’m gonna be late.” She whined.

“Yeah, I know. Can’t I wish you good luck before, though?” Pat had a smirk on his face which made Belle crack a small smile. “You’ll do great.”

“Thanks, Pat.”

“I’ll see you at lunch, okay?” Pat leaned down and kissed her forehead before he basically pushed her into the classroom. Belle’s cheeks were flushed as she took in the chuckles of her classmates when she stumbled into the room. She hiked up her bag and walked towards her seat, ignoring how loud the small heels of her vintage mary janes slapped against the tiles. Belle slid into her seat and placed her leather messenger bag on the floor. She pulled out her pens and placed them on the desk.

A glance at her watch showed that there were only four more minutes before Mrs. Thompson marched her way into the room, coffee cup in hand and a permanent scowl on her face. Belle wiped her hands on her plaid skirt.

“You know, for someone who says they’re just friends, you and Murray seem to be more than friendly.” A voice came from beside her. She turned and saw the teasing grin of one of her few friends, Emily Kasser.

“We are just friends.” She sighed, tired of the same conversation she always heard from her.

“Friends don’t just hold hands and kiss each other’s forehead.” Emily pointed her pen in Belle’s direction for emphasis. The raven-haired girl rolled her eyes. “So, are you ready for the test?”

“Absolutely not,” Belle exhaled. “But here I am.”

“You’ll do fine. With that big brain of yours? I doubt you’ll fail.”

“Yeah, but I don’t exactly have chemistry _with_ chemistry.” Belle tugged at the ends of her long hair nervously.

“Cause you used up all of that chemistry with _Patty_.” Emily mocked her friend’s voice. When Belle glared at her, she simply laughed and tossed her head back. Belle could be so smart but so oblivious sometimes. “Teasing aside, you really have nothing to worry about.”

“I hope so. Or else my parents are gonna kill me.” Belle mumbled. Emily watched Belle’s eyes go far away and she starts tugging on her hair a little more aggressively. Emily opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by the door slamming opening and the angry clacks of Mrs. Thompson’s heels filled the room. The whole class quieted down. No one wanted to get Mrs. Thompson’s bad side, especially not on test day.

“Pen’s out and eyes on your own paper if you know what’s good for you.” Papers were passed around and the test began.

Lunchtime rolled around and Pat strolled out of third-period history class. Other students brushed past him, all trying to get to the cafeteria before everyone else. He rubbed the sleep away from his eyes and ran a hand through his hair so much that it fell over his eyes. History was always so boring. It didn’t help when the teacher spoke so slowly that Pat felt like he aged 5 years in the 50 minutes he was in class.

A hand clasped on his shoulder. “Dozed off in history again, Murr?”

Pat turned and was greeted with the bright, smiling face of his other best friend, John Mazzello. “That obvious, huh.”

“Yeah, got a bit of drool right over there.” Maz swiped a finger on the corner of Pat’s lips, pretending to wipe away the drool.

“Fuck off, I do not drool when I sleep!” Pat swatted his friend’s hand away with a chuckle.

“Right, right.” Maz nodded and a smirk graced his lips. “You only drool when you see Belle.”

Pat’s eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. “What the fuck?” Maz took one look at Pat’s face and burst into laughter.

“Come on, Murr. You can’t possibly be that oblivious.” The pair of friends continued to follow the wave of students into the cafeteria. Maz looked back at Pat who was steadily getting as red as his hair.

“Maz…” Pat trailed off.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older. Don’t worry about it.” Maz gave the shorter boy two strong pats on the back. Pat shrugged his backpack up higher on his shoulder and shook his head. “You ready for the drills coach is gonna make us do later?”

“Fuck no. But I wanna win on Saturday so he can make me do a 100 sprints and I wouldn’t care.” Pat stated. The first game of the season was happening this weekend and they were determined to make a comeback from the upset they had last season. “You ever heard from those scouts from STAC again?”

“Just the last time over the summer that I told you about.” Maz and Pat turned the corner and saw the big doors of the cafeteria wide open, welcoming students into her greasy, waiting arms.

“They’ll call back.” Pat knew about his best friend’s talent. He was certain Maz was going to drafted one day. “I know it.”

“Thanks, bro.” Maz elbowed Pat. “But that’s the future. It’s so far away! We still got a whole year’s worth of baseball together.”

“Yeah, our last.” Pat mumbled.

“Hey,” Maz sped up his pace so that he was standing in front of Pat. “You getting sappy on me, Murr?” Pat chuckled and shoved his friend into the cafeteria. They walked towards their usual table. Their table already had a few people in it and were chatting aimlessly. They greeted everyone and pulled out their chairs. Pat immediately put his backpack on the chair beside him.

Pat barely listened to the conversation about some new video game. He’d give murmurs of agreement every now and then but he was too preoccupied with keeping an eye out on the doors for Belle. Students kept filing into the hall and sat down by one of the many round tables. Suddenly, he saw her short frame push past a pair of tall football players. Her long raven hair bounced with every step and she kept her round dark eyes trailed on the ground. Pat sat up straighter and leaned forward as if reaching out for her. Maz smiled slyly as he took a sip of his water, watching Pat stare at Belle.

Belle looked up and saw Pat waving her over. A smile tugged on her lips when she saw his boyish smile and flushed cheeks. She picked up the pace and made her way over to their table. A few “excuse me’s” and “I’m sorry’s” pushed Belle past the huge crowd congregating by the center of the room.

Pat stood up to meet her as she neared the table. “How was the test?”

“I think I got an A.” Belle smiled shyly. Pat smiled and threw his arms around her waist in a tight hug.

“I never doubted you for a minute.” Pat mumbled against her hair, the sweet smell wafting over him.

“Thanks, Patty.” Belle giggled.

“Future Doctor Ramos strikes again!” Michael Slattery spoke up, making the pair separate from each other. Pat took off his bag from the seat that he instinctively saved for his best friend and pulled it out for her. Belle sank down and Pat pushed back her chair.

“Spare some of the IQ for the rest of us ‘kay Belle?” Maz smirked at the blushing girl. He spared a glance at Pat who was looking down at her with so much admiration. Belle never noticed.

“I’m not smart. I’m just good at taking tests.” Belle had a tendency to degrade herself when it came to academics. Pat nudged her and gave her a look. _Don’t do that._ He managed to say without words.

“Oh, please. You’re the best of us on this table.” Theo Smith spoke up and as Belle got redder, Pat glowed with pride.

“Alright, leave her alone before her head gets too big and leaves us for a better table.” Pat quieted his friends down.

“Hey! There’s no table better than ours, Murr!” Rob Di Angelo leaned back in his chair. A chorus of excited agreements echoed amongst the baseball players.

“Idiots, all of them. You hungry?” Pat turned to Belle.

“Starving.” Belle watched Pat laugh. His smile widening and his eyes crinkling at the corners. Belle felt a strange tug in her gut.

“I’ll go get you some food.” Pat started to stand but Belle put a hand on his bicep. Pat looked at her small hand around his arm and thought about how she could possibly feel how fast his heart was beating.

“I can get it myself, silly.” Belle shook her head at him and stood up to get her lunch. Pat found himself watching her form disappear into the crowd again. Maz elbowed Pat to get his attention.

“Might wanna pick your jaw up from the floor, Murr.”

“Fuck off, Maz.” Pat took out his lunch with a goofy smile plastered on his face.

Across the cafeteria, Belle weaved her way to the counter. A tall, slender girl pushed past her. Almost knocking Belle over. The girl made her way to her table, people parting for her as she walked by. People stared at her but she paid them no mind. She spotted her table and found her chair, empty and waiting for her. The girl arrived at the table to a simultaneous greeting of her name. She smiled and slinked down in her seat, exuding superiority despite the round table.

“Kenny was asking about you again.”

Tiffany Evans groaned. “That’s the third time this week.”

“Well, you really left a mark on him, Tiffany.” Rue Spinoza said.

Tiffany shrugged proudly. She did seem to have that effect on men. “I’m bored.”

“Four days without a man and she’s already bored.” Maddie Sloane shook her head in amusement. The other girls in the table laughed. Jumping from one man to another was something normal for Tiffany. The trail of broken hearts she left behind her were like trophies to her. Always looking for a new one to add to her collection.

“So, who’s available?” Tiffany scanned the faces in the cafeteria.

“Simon from the mathletes is single. He’s cute and is probably gonna get into Harvard.” Diana Green offered.

“Nah, ivy leagues suck. Remember Steve?” Tiffany thought back to the senior she dated for a couple of months last year. He had done nothing but talk about Yale and be condescending about her grades. No, she’d never date an ivy league guy again.

“Okay, how about Bob from Track?”

“Nah, made out with him last summer. Sloppy kisser.” Tiffany grimaced at the memory.

“Alright…well, there’s Murray.”

“Murray?”

“Pat Murray. From the baseball team.” Maddie supplied. She pointed back towards the table of baseball players. “He’s the one beside John Mazzello.”

Tiffany followed the direction of her friend’s finger and saw the lanky redhead beside their school’s star baseball player. His hair flopped over his forehead messily and he had a charming smile. “He’s cute.”

“Yeah, he is. Crazy on the field, though. Screams like a maniac when something goes wrong.” Tiffany continued to watch Pat Murray laugh and talk with his team. Suddenly, a short girl came up beside him and he smiled at her brightly. His whole face lighting up.

“Who’s that?” She cocked her head towards the girl taking a seat beside Pat.

“That’s Belle Ramos. Pat’s best friend. They’ve known each other for years.”

“I always thought they were together but apparently they’re just friends.” 

Tiffany saw how they leaned against each other instinctively and Pat put an arm on the back of Belle’s chair. They seemed to steal glances when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Tiffany hummed. She always loved a challenge.

_CRACK!_

The batter hit the ball so hard that it made Belle look up from her textbook. She watched the ball fly across the field and over the heads of the outfielders. The ball rolled on the ground while the batter ran through the bases. Her gaze drifted towards Pat’s form which was running after the ball. He charged after it and slid on the ground to catch the ball. Pat caught the ball and stood up quickly to throw the ball back clumsily. A smile graced Belle’s lips and she turned back to her book, leaning against the metal bleachers.

Pat wiped the sweat off his brow and watched his teammate dive into third base but to no avail. He was still called out. Pat made a mental note to remember to dive more. Their coach made a signal for everyone to switch sides. Outfielders were going to bat now. He ran back to the dugout with a glance towards the bleachers where Belle was highlighting furiously. She had a frown on her face as she usually did when she was studying. Pat found himself grinning and bumping into someone. He mumbled a quick ‘sorry’.

“Focus, Murr.” Maz smirked at his friend.

“I am.”

“Seems like your head’s over there in the bleachers instead.” Pat shook his head and glanced back up at the girl before he entered the dugout, Maz following him inside. “You should just tell her how you feel.” The pair sitting down beside each other, waiting for their turn to bat.

Pat was about to deny it once again but he sighed instead. “She’ll never like me like that.”

“You don’t know that. I see the way you look at each other.” Maz nudged his best friend’s shoulder. “It won’t hurt to try.”

“I could lose her. I…I can’t risk that.” Pat started playing with his fingers, nervously. Maz watched Pat bounce his leg while he looked at the field.

“You and Belle are solid. You’d never lose her.” Maz’s supposed comforting words were just causing Pat more anxiety.

“Can we…stop talking about this?” Pat looked to his side. “Please?”

“Alright.”

Belle continued to read, the thundering cracks of the balls against the bats were the soundtrack to her study session. She always found herself to be in this specific position after school. Legs tucked underneath her, book in lap, and one of Pat’s hoodies on to fight the breeze that was getting colder as the leaves started to fall faster. She rubbed her tired eyes and closed her book slightly.

“Murray, you’re up!” Coach Dunstan shouted. Belle found herself sitting up straighter on the uncomfortable metal. She saw Pat nervously wringing the grip of the bat and walk up to the plate. She could see his mouth moving quickly and his tense shoulders. He held his hand up to the pitcher and took a few more seconds to compose himself before he put his other hand on the bat as well. Pat was always so hard on himself. Even during practice.

Pat took a breath and eyed the pitcher. The pitcher pulled his arm back and sent the ball flying in Pat’s direction. Pat looked straight at the ball but hesitated and missed it completely.

“Strike one!” Coach Dunstan called. Pat cursed and Belle furrowed her brows. Pat tapped his helmet and mumbled _“Get it together! Hit the damn ball, you fucking idiot.”_ under his breath. He stared at the pitcher again and watched the ball cut through the air. This time, he managed to hit the ball but…

“Foul ball!”

“Fuck!” Pat hit the bat against the floor. Belle had completely forgotten about studying now and just watched Pat worriedly. Pat missed another ball and another curse rang through the air.

“Come on, Patty!” Belle couldn’t help but cheer him on. Pat looked back and saw Belle standing. His sweater on her shorter frame was huge, almost covering the hem of her short skirt. Belle gave him two thumbs up and he smiled wide. He turned back to the pitcher with a renewed energy. With his teammates’ teasing behind him, Pat took a deep breath and eyed the ball.

Belle wrapped her arms around her waist and braced herself for the loud crack. The pitcher rolled the ball in his hand when someone called her name. She looked to the side and saw her calculus classmate, Matthew Connally.

“Hi, Matthew.” Belle greeted. He gave her a kind smile and walked towards her. She met him halfway.

“It’s so late. What are you still doing here?” He asked her.

“Oh, I’m just waiting for Pat to finish up.” Belle pointed at the field and heard the sound of the bat colliding with the ball. She turned her attention back to Pat. Matthew watched Belle’s eyes follow the ball until it hit the back of the fence. She screamed and jumped. “Run Pat!”

Matthew had been planning on asking Belle to dinner on Saturday but with the way she was looking intensely at Pat Murray’s lean form run from one base to the other, he decided otherwise. He took two steps away from her as Belle held her hands together in a faux prayer. Pat ran from second to third then slid home. Belle cheered and Pat got up to a bunch of hugs from his teammates. It was a rarity that Pat ever got a hit, so a home run was basically a miracle. Even Coach Dunstan mussed up his hair fondly.

But Pat only cared for one person’s reaction.

He looked towards the bleachers and saw Belle clapping excitedly. Pat gave her a small salute to which she laughed at. He trailed his eyes to the person beside her. It was that guy Matthew. He didn’t share any classes with him but Belle did. Pat squinted at them when Belle turned to talk to him. Pat was tackled by his friends again.

“So, did you need anything?” Belle asked Matthew.

“Uh, I was just going to ask what the homework was. I think I may have dozed off a bit towards the end of class.” Matthew scratched the back of his neck.

Belle giggled. “Sure. It’s completely understandable. It’s calculus. Everyone falls asleep.” She took out her planner and gave Matthew the homework he ‘forgot’.

“Thanks so much. You’re a lifesaver.” Matthew thanked her.

“Any time.” Belle shut her planner.

“Do you need a ride home?” Matthew tried his luck.

“Oh, no. Pat’s my ride and practice looks like it’s pretty much over now so we’re gonna go in a while. Thank you, though.”

“Okay.” Matthew hid his disappointment with a smile. “I’ll see you in class then.”

“See you.” Belle waved as he walked away. Just as they had said their goodbyes, Pat was walking up towards Belle. When the baseball player passed by Matthew, he gave him an angry glare which made Matthew’s smile waver. Matthew quickly walked faster away from the field. Belle looked up from her bag and saw Pat walking towards her. “Oh my god, Pat! That was amazing! You hit a home run!”

Belle put her hands on his shoulders and jumped up and down enthusiastically. Pat’s previous angry (jealous) demeanor melted away when he saw the light in Belle’s eyes and how her hands felt on him. He couldn’t help but smile and envelop her in a hug to which she complained. “It’s ‘cause you’re here.”

“Oh, stop. You big cheeseball.” Belle wriggled away from his sweaty form but Pat wouldn’t let go. “Patty, let me go! You stink!”

“That’s just my natural musk. The smell of a _man_.” Pat lowered his voice to almost a growl which made something in Belle’s tummy turn. In a good way.

“God, ew. Don’t say musk.” Belle successfully pushed Pat away from her but laughed at his antics anyways. “Can we go home, please? My brain’s so tired and I just wanna fall asleep for like 3 days.”

“Yeah, I think I wanna sleep for 3 days too.”

“Copy-cat. You just wanna do that cause you wouldn’t have me to talk to.” Pat took Belle’s bag and put it on his shoulder despite Belle’s protests. He shushed her and put an arm around her shoulders.

“I mean, is there anything better to do than to talk to you, angel?” Pat smirked. That weird feeling settled in Belle’s tummy again while Pat led her to his car.

Nerves were high during the final inning of the game. Belle bounced on the balls of her feet nervously as the St. Catherine High School Tigers played offense against the St. Francis High Eagles. They were down one run and the bases were loaded. The catch was the Tigers were walking on thin ice with a single out left. Pat was called out a couple of batters ago to which he left with a spectacular display of expletives.

Despite the chilly fall air, Belle’s blue school shirt clung onto her uncomfortably under her tan corduroy jacket. Her hands clutched onto the “Catch that ball, no. 15!” sign that she held up when Pat was playing on defense. Michael Slattery stepped up onto the plate and cheers erupted from Belle and the rest of the school.

“Let’s hope Michael doesn’t choke again. He fucking sucks.” Emily glared at number 24’s back. Belle cracked a smile.

“You’re dating him.”

“I can say he sucks but no one else can.” Emily said bluntly which eased the tension in the air.

Michael got ready to bat. The pitcher pulled his arm back and sent the ball flying towards home plate. Michael swung and a loud crack filled the air. The ball soared over everyone and managed to fall far enough into fair territory. Everything was a blur from all the runners gunning it at full speed.

As soon as the second batter slid home, the entire Tigers side exploded in cheers. People jumped up and down, embraced, all forms of celebration. Belle and Emily hugged each other in excitement. The team had all converged to the center of the field to celebrate with each other. Emily pulled on Belle’s hand.

“Come on. Let’s go out there!”

The girls pushed their way through the crowd and found the opened gates to the field. They and other students ran into the field to congratulate the winning team. Emily rushed to Michael quickly and kissed him furiously. Belle laughed and looked for the face she was most longing to see.

Then, she saw him. Talking animatedly with one of his teammates. “Pat!” Belle yelled out. Pat’s ears pricked up when he heard her voice. He turned and saw Belle standing in the midst of all the madness and noise. Pat left his previous conversation without another word and crossed the field to Belle. He scooped her up into his arms, lifting her off her feet. She giggled. “You did so well, oh my god!”

Pat buried his face into her shoulder and squeezed the girl tighter. “God, I was so nervous then Slattery came in clutch and fuck I can’t stop smiling, angel!” Belle’s heart fluttered at the new nickname that Pat had taken a liking to.

“Smiles suit you.” Belle said quite breathlessly. Pat brought her back down to her feet and she looked up at him, admiringly. “I’m so proud of you.”

Pat didn’t want to focus on their proximity but Belle was so close to him. She was looking at him so softly and her head was so close to his chest that he was worried that she could hear how his heart was hammering a mile a minute. Pat’s eyes betrayed him and trailed down to her lips for a second. Belle noticed, of course. Nothing seemed to escape her.

Not even the drifting of her own eyes to her best friend’s lips.

Not even the brief consideration of how soft they would feel against hers.

Pat opened his mouth to speak but he was cut off by someone ramming into them, causing Pat to pull Belle even closer to him to avoid them falling onto the ground. Belle put her hands on Pat’s bicep and felt the muscles move under her hand.

“Murray, come on! We gotta take pictures!” Maz’s face peered over Pat’s shoulder. “Oh hey, Belle.”

“Hi, Maz.” Belle said, sheepishly. Shy that she had gotten caught this close to Pat.

“Come on, slowpoke.” Maz poked Pat’s side. Pat winced and pushed him away.

“I’ll be there in a sec, asshole.” Pat turned back to Belle to which they awkwardly looked at each other and parted. Why the sudden tension? Belle thought. “I-I have to go. I’ll meet you in a while for the party?”

“Yeah, I’ll be waiting.” Belle said, rubbing her hands on her jeans. “Go be with your team, champ.” Pat smiled and turned to his waiting teammates. Which left Belle alone to deal with all these confusing thoughts in her head.

The house party was already in full swing when Pat and Belle arrived. There was loud music blaring from inside and even louder cheers from what sounded like drunken teenagers. “The game ended like 30 minutes ago.” Belle observed.

“People are drunk on victory.” Pat winked. He put the car in park and killed the engine. “You ready to party?”

“If by party, you mean sipping the same cup of soda for the whole night and watching other people get drunk then, yes.” Belle smiled. Pat shook his head with an amused smile. “Also, someone has to stay responsible for tonight and you deserve to get drunk cause you were amazing today.”

“I struck out again, Belle.” Pat turned in his seat to face her and Belle did the same.

“So, what?” Belle shrugged. “You were amazing on the field. As you always are.”

Pat admired her under the lights of the street lamps. Her brown eyes seemed to twinkle and her round cheeks twitching as she smiled softly at him. He thought about how that smile had gotten him through everything. A bad exam, a bad game, a bad day…especially that day. “What would I do without you?”

“Absolutely nothing. Your life would be a mess without me.” Belle said smugly.

“Hey! I’m not that much of a mess.” Pat defended himself.

“Oh, yeah? Then what about that time I went back to the Philippines for Christmas then I came home to you with a broken arm?”

“That was completely circumstantial! I was 11 and Maz wanted to try some skateboard tricks!”

“Have you ever broken your arm while I’m around? I don’t think so!” Belle tried to stop herself from laughing.

“Alright! You win.” Pat held his hands out.

“I always do.”

“Hey.” Pat squinted at her and Belle laughed.

“You know you love me, Murray.”

_I do._

Pat froze. Did he love Belle? He knew his feelings for her were starting to become more than friendly. But, love? That was too much. Too grown-up. _God, he needed a drink._

“Alright, let’s get in there. I need a beer.”

Belle laughed at him and Pat ignored the hitching of his breath. They walked towards the front door where they were met with a loud cheer of “Murray!” Pat was getting claps on the back and side hugs while Belle watched him ping-pong between his teammates. Some people said hi to her and she said it back but for the most part, she was just following Pat. They managed to get through all the greetings and enter the kitchen.

“A soda for the lady,” Pat handed Belle a cold tin can. “And a beer for me.” He used the edge of the table to pop the top open and immediately took a long swig of his drink. Belle watched worriedly.

“Slow down, Pat. You’re gonna make yourself sick.”

“But isn’t that the sign of a good party?” Pat downed another sizeable amount. He pushed away any thoughts of love out of his head. He hissed when the alcohol finally slid down his throat. “Come on, angel. Let’s have some fun.”

Pat took her hand in his and pulled her into the large crowd again. The hours passed and Pat steadily got more drunk. He was now on his third bottle and in the middle of a round of beer pong. Belle stood beside him while he aimed the small ping pong ball and threw it across the table. It landed in a cup and Pat cheered. Belle smiled at his drunken excitement.

“You see that, Belle?” Pat turned to her and put his arm around her shoulders.

“I did.” Belle put her arm around Pat’s waist.

“Wanna try?” Pat slurred.

“To play?”

“Yeah, come on. I’ll help.” Pat stood behind her and waited for their turn again. He put one of the plastic balls in her hand and held it firmly. Belle’s heart started racing and it was like her senses were heightened. Suddenly, she noticed how firm his chest felt against her upper back and how rough his big hand felt on the back of her smaller one. Belle could feel his warm breath fanning against her ear as he leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Okay, so just look straight at the cup and line the ball up. Then throw.”

Belle glanced at Pat and she noted how close he was to her face. She took in the slope of his nose and the pucker of his lips. Pat looked at her and the two locked eyes for a couple of seconds. Were his eyes always this pretty? Shaky breath in, Belle turned back to the game. “Ok, here I go.” Belle threw the ball haphazardly and it flew straight into a cup. Her eyes widened and she gasped.

“Oh, my god.” Belle watched the guy on the opposite side fish the ball out of the drink and down the liquid. Pat’s arms wound around her waist.

“Damn, Ramos. Didn’t know you had game!” Michael complimented her, Emily standing close by and smiling at her friend.

“Beginner’s luck, I guess.” Belle shrugged and put her hand on top of Pat’s.

“Nope! There’s just nothing you can’t do!” Pat spoke up. Belle couldn’t help but smile. She met Emily’s knowing eyes again. Emily subtly motioned to the two of them and made a kissy motion with her lips. Belle rolled her eyes.

“I think I want another drink.” Pat said lowly. He swayed slightly on his feet.

“What you need is water.” Belle turned to face him.

“But…beer.” Pat pouted.

“No more beer. You’ve already had too much.”

“I love that you care so much.” Pat basically slurred. _How could I not care about you?_ Belle thought.

“I’ll get you a bottle of water. You stay here.” Belle placed a hand on his chest and gently pushed him away.

“I’ll miss you.”

“You’re a dork.” Belle shook her head and walked away. She could feel Pat’s gaze on her back and somehow it made her feel extremely giddy. She managed to weasel her way back into the kitchen, managing to avoid drunken teenagers falling over each other and stumbling into empty rooms. The kitchen was filled with more people now compared to earlier and Belle had to wait in line for her chance to take a pick from the cooler.

Tiffany was speaking to a random guy. She had already forgotten his name if she was being honest. Tiffany chugged the rest of her drink down and rolled her eyes in annoyance when the boy in front of her made a crude joke in a futile attempt to seduce her. She trailed her eyes around the party and saw the boring faces of her classmates, her exes, her “friends”. Tiffany trailed her eyes quickly to the kitchen then furrowed her eyes.

_Belle Ramos._

Tiffany immediately left the guy she was talking to and sauntered into the kitchen. Belle had the sleeve of her jacket rolled up and fished through the bottles of beer and finally… _Aha_! She pulled out the bottled water and shook her hand dry. Pulling down her sleeve, she was about to walk back to Pat when…

“I love your jacket! Where’d you get it?” Tiffany Evans, the most popular girl in school, was standing right in front of Belle. She looked behind her, thinking that she was talking to someone else but there was no one.

“Uh, I thrifted it.” Belle said timidly.

“Oh, that’s so cool. Your name’s Isabelle right?”

“Belle, actually.” Belle shifted on her feet awkwardly.

“Right. I’m actually a fan of your style. Very vintage. I love it.” Tiffany smiled brightly.

“Oh, thank you. That’s so nice.”

“No prob! I kinda wanted to copy you if that’s alright?”

“Yeah! I don’t own the style so…” Belle trailed off awkwardly. Tiffany laughed, throwing her head back. Blonde hair tumbling over shoulders like golden waterfalls.

“I don’t really know where to start, though. Could you help me?”

“Help you how?”

“I’ve never been thrifting. Maybe we can start there?” Tiffany proposed.

“Me?” Belle asked. Tiffany Evans didn’t talk to just anyone. Especially not people like Belle.

“Of course, you! Who better to help me revamp my wardrobe?”

“S-sure! Yeah, I can totally take you thrifting uh…” Belle stuttered. Tiffany laughed again, looking at her like a wounded baby bird that she needed to save.

“Great! Just put your number on my phone and I can text you when we can meet up.” Tiffany handed Belle her phone and she typed in her number. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” Belle was about to reply when she heard Pat’s voice calling her name echoing through the house. “Seems like someone’s looking for you.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I won’t keep you. Bye Belle.” Tiffany waved daintily.

“Bye.” From the corner of Belle’s eyes, she saw Pat entering the kitchen. He and Tiffany brushed past each other and Pat’s eyes lingered on the blonde girl for a second too long. Belle furrowed her eyes at him and felt a pang in her gut.

“Belle, you were gone for so long.” Pat whined.

“Sorry. Here’s your water.” Belle handed him the bottle. “Drink it all.”

“Okay.” Pat sounded like he was 8 again and it made her smile. He opened the bottle and drank the whole thing. He blinked a few times and his vision cleared just a little bit.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Pat yawned. “Kinda sleepy though.”

“Alright, let’s go home.” Belle entwined her fingers with Pat’s and led him out of the house.

Pat was mumbling incoherent words as Belle drove home. He was dozing in and out of sleep. They were still a couple of minutes away from their neighborhood so Belle relaxed in the seat. This night had been so confusing for her. She and Pat had always been affectionate with each other. But recently, everything was starting to feel different.

A good different.

But still different.

Belle pressed on the brakes as she neared a stoplight. While she waited for the light to turn green, she turned to Pat who had fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful and calm with the red light covering him. Suddenly, he shifted in his sleep and his hand started patting around the gear shift. Pat’s hand found their way to her lap and grasped her right hand. He kissed the back of it gently and cradled it against his chest, falling back asleep almost instantly. This time with a small smile on his face.

Belle couldn’t ignore the erratic beating of her heart this time. He looked so cute like this and his lips felt so soft against her hand. His hand felt so good around hers and Belle felt like she couldn’t breathe. Green light filled the car and Belle forced herself to remove her hand from Pat’s grip so that she could drive again.

A few more minutes of driving and contemplating on Belle’s part until they arrived at the Murray household. She parked the car and got out to go to Pat’s side. She opened the door and unbuckled the seat belt. Belle cupped Pat’s cheek and shook him gently.

“Patty.” _Still asleep._ “Patty, wake up. We’re home.”

“Don’t wanna get up.” Pat groaned. Belle sighed and left him in the car to go get some help. She rang the doorbell and after a few minutes, Brian answered the door.

“Hi, Belle. Where’s Pat?”

“In the car. Drunk and passed out.” She pointed back.

“Ah, don’t worry. I got him.” Brian patted her shoulder and went to get his son from the car. He slung Pat’s arm across his shoulder and carried him like he was nothing. “Sweetheart, could you get the doors for me?”

“Of course.” Belle shut the door of the car and held the front door wider for Brian to pass. She followed him up the stairs and up to Pat’s room. She opened the door again and watched Brian put Pat down on the bed. Brian took off his son’s shoes and pulled a blanket over him.

“I assume it was a good party?” Brian turned to his son’s best friend.

“It was okay. I played beer pong for the first time.” Belle smiled.

“Alright! That’s what I like to hear! You deserve to have some fun too, Belle.” Brian pulled the small girl into a side hug. “School isn’t everything. You’ve gotta live your life too. You can be valedictorian but what stories are you gonna tell your kids? That you spent your high school days pulling all-nighters? Nah, you gotta make some memories.”

“I know.” Belle leaned her head against Brian’s chest.

“Wait, you played beer pong but drove home?” Brian’s fatherly instinct kicked in.

“I didn’t drink.”

“Ah, should’ve known.” Brian chuckled. A pained moan came from Pat. Brian and Belle both tensed, very concerned. Pat rolled over and clutched the blankets closer to him. His brow was furrowed. “I should get a bucket in here. He’s gonna throw up for sure.”

“Yeah.”

“Stay with him while I get it.”

Belle sat down on the side of Pat’s bed. She reached up and brushed his hair out of his face. She trailed her hand down to his cheek and brushed the backs of her fingers against it gently. Pat nuzzled against her touch unconsciously.

“Belle…” He mumbled sleepily. Belle thought he had woken up but his eyes still remained softly shut. He was still asleep. “Belle…”

“Patty, I’m here.” She whispered back.

“Belle…” Pat then mumbled incoherently. She could only understand the words “I” and “you”. Before Belle could listen more closely, Brian came back with a bucket in his hand.

“Sweetheart, you should go home. It’s getting late and you don’t want your parents to start worrying.” Brian placed the bucket beside Pat’s head.

“Yeah,” Belle took one last look at Pat and stood up. “Goodnight, Brian.”

“Goodnight. Get home safely.”

“It’s two houses away.” Belle giggled.

“I still worry.” Brian smiled warmly. Belle left the Murrays’ and walked towards her own house. Two minutes before curfew. She took a deep breath and unlocked the house. It was dark inside and she took off her shoes, leaving it by the door. As quietly as she could, she climbed the stairs to the second floor. Belle spared a glance on the walls and saw the glimmering of her brother’s framed medals hanging on the wall. She walked to her parent’s room and pressed her ear against the door. She could hear that the TV was on and she knocked.

“Evening _ma, pa._ ” Belle greeted when she opened the door. Her parents were in bed watching the evening news. Her dad took a look at the clock and nodded.

“Right on time.” Richard Ramos complimented.

“Isabelle, Andrew called today!” Mariel Ramos said excitedly. Belle sighed at the mention of her brother’s name and leaned against the doorframe.

“Did he?” Belle tried to sound interested.

“Yes! He said that he was just offered residency at this big hospital. Oh, I forgot the name! _Mahal_ , what was it?” Mariel used her pet name for her husband. _My love._

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s there and this is an amazing opportunity for him.” Richard emphasized his words with his hands. 

“Yes, and when you finish school, he can help you get residency there too!” Mariel had a bright smile on her face.

“That’s great.” Belle forced a smile. “I’m a little tired so I’m gonna go to sleep. Goodni-”

“Wait, _anak._ ” Richard called out to his _anak,_ his _child_. “You’ve done your applications right?”

“Yes, dad.” 

“Especially for Stanford? You know Stanford’s our priority.” Mariel looked over her daughter’s distant gaze and furrowed her brows. 

“I know, mom.” 

“Okay, we’ll go over them tomorrow.” Mariel nodded. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Belle closed the door and walked to her room. She flopped down on her bed. _How was she more tired from talking to her parents than she was from the game and the party combined?_ Belle ran her hands over face and then through her hair. She pushed herself up to her side and reached underneath her bed until she felt the familiar object brush her hands. She pulled it out and placed the battered sketchbook on her lap. 

Belle turned on her lamp and grabbed her pencil. She opened the book to a blank page and rotated her wrist to warm it up then she brought the pencil down to the paper. Belle only had one image in her head and she was determined to do it justice. She had full concentration and was making sure she got every detail down. When she finished, she blew away the dusty pencil lead and admired her work.

A perfect impression of a sleeping Pat Murray. 


	3. Chapter 3

Belle tugged on her paint streaked cutoff denim overalls on top of her brother, Andrew’s old camp shirt. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and stuffed her phone in the pocket. Today was her first weekend free from studying since the start of the school year and Maz had commandeered Belle and Pat to help him paint his room. She couldn’t wait to get out and not study for once. Excitedly, she basically ran down the stairs. **  
**

She found her dad in the living room, reading the newspaper. “ _Pa_ , I’m going out.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“To the Mazzello’s.” 

“Ah, tell Joe I said hi and I’ll see him in church tomorrow.” Richard and Joe Sr. were close friends, just like their children. 

“I will. Bye, _pa_.” Belle was almost at the door when Mariel stopped her.

“Wait Isabelle,” Belle sighed. “The SATs are in three weeks and you’re going out?” 

“I do deserve a break sometimes, mom.” Belle reasoned. “Also, I’m ahead of my reviewing.”

“Are you sure? We can’t take risks with this, _anak_.” Mariel glanced at the family picture from Andrew’s graduation and smiled. 

“I know.” 

“Mariel, let the girl live.” Richard intervened and his wife sighed. 

“Fine, be back before sundown.” Mariel turned and went into the kitchen, leaving Belle to wallow in her guilt. Was she doing enough? Was she slacking off? Should she even go to Maz’s today? Belle was spiraling then her phone vibrated in her pocket. She fished it out of her pocket and flipped it open. The screen showed Pat’s name.

_paints getting dry you coming or what? :P_

Belle smiled and typed quickly, the keys clicking with every push.

_otw loser leave me a wall_

Belle pressed send and closed her phone. She fiddled with the charms she attached to it. A plastic heart, a flower made out of felt, and her favorite: a flattened paper ring that pat had made her during a really boring seminar back in sophomore year. Her thumb rubbed over the paper heart he so carefully folded while some old man was yammering on about who knows what. Belle put the phone away and pushed the door open. She took her bike out of the garage and biked her way to Maz’s house. 

The Mazzellos lived at the end of the street and when they were younger she, Pat, & Maz used to hang out at his place since it had the biggest backyard. Perfect for playing all sorts of games their young minds would come up with. A lot of good memories were created in the backyard of one of the kindest families in the neighborhood. 

She saw the outline of the house nearing and she stopped pedaling to let the bike glide against the pavement. Once close enough, she hopped off and rolled it onto the driveway. Belle spotted Pat’s (well Brian’s) truck and leaned her bike against it. Belle made her way to the front door and pressed the doorbell. The door opened and the smiling face of Joe Mazzello Sr. greeted her. 

“Belle, sweetie. Come on in.” Joe opened the door for her. “The boys are upstairs.”

“Thanks, Joe. Dad says hi by the way.” Belle mentioned. 

“Ah, I’ll be sure to give him a ring later. You should get up there before those rascals get paint on everywhere else but the walls.” Joe pointed upstairs. Belle laughed.

“I’ll make sure they don’t mess it up.” 

“I’m counting on you, Belle-y welly!” Belle smiled at Joe’s old nickname for her. She climbed the stairs and immediately heard the bickering between Pat and Maz. 

“Murr, you can’t just paint directly on the wall!” Maz cried out when Pat dipped the roller in the dark blue paint. Pat stopped in his tracks when his friend called his name. 

“Why not?”

“Because we need to prime it first!” 

“It’s gonna take fucking forever for us to finish if we put some clear shit on this! Let’s just paint this room!” Pat complained.

“Patty, what did I tell you about being patient?” Belle spoke, calling the attention of the two boys. They stopped and looked at the doorway where Belle stood with an amused expression on her face.

“That I should be working on it.” Pat sighed.

“Exactly, and what better practice is there than literally watching paint dry.” Belle smirked and Pat rolled his eyes playfully. 

“Belle’s right.” Maz agreed.

“You’re just agreeing with her cause you wanna be right.”

“No, I wanna paint my room right.” Maz popped the lid off the paint primer. “But also I wanted to prove you wrong.”

“Motherfu-”

“Alright.” Belle stood between the two boys. “I’m five minutes late and the two of you are already fighting like an old married couple.” 

“In our defense, we were left unsupervised.” Pat stated. Belle giggled and Pat basically glowed. The trio began to prime the walls, cracking jokes and bantering all the way until all four walls were primed and ready to go. The whole time, Belle tried to put on a brave face. Tried to push away all of the thoughts of her parents and school and the future. 

Pat noticed the way Belle’s knuckles were turning white with how hard she was gripping the handle of the roller. He watched her face closely. Whenever Belle was lost in her thoughts, she had a tendency to grind her teeth and clench her jaw. 

And that’s exactly what she was doing now. 

“We just need to wait for this to dry for like an hour.” Belle put her roller on the tarp covering the floor. 

“An hour?” Pat exclaimed.

“Yes, an hour.” Belle sat on the floor.

“What the hell are we gonna do until then?” Pat flopped down beside her. He got as close to her as he possibly could, putting an arm on the space behind Belle. 

“We could play some board games?” Maz offered. 

“Oh yes, please. That’d be fun.” Belle clapped her hands together and Maz laughed. 

“Alright, you two stay here. I’ll go find them. Joe used them the last time he came home and I have no idea where he kept them.” Maz left the room but called out. “I’ll be right back!” 

Pat and Belle were left alone in the room with the unpleasant smell of paint wafting over them. Belle played with her shoelaces as she got lost in her thoughts again. Pat could basically hear the gears of her brilliant brain spinning. He dropped his head onto her shoulder to call her attention. Belle felt his soft hair brush against her cheek, the slightest touch causing her to blush. She turned and saw Pat’s chin perched on her shoulder while he looked up at her with prettiest eyes she had ever seen. Were his eyes always this beautiful? 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Pat asked. “I can hear you thinking.”

“It’s nothing.” Belle mumbled and continued fiddling with her shoelaces. 

“I know it’s not _nothing_ , angel.” Pat moved closer to her. “Tell me. Please.”

Belle looked back at him and sighed. “It’s my parents.”

“It always is, isn’t it.” Belle let out a breathy chuckle. “What happened?”

“It wasn’t big or anything. Mama was talking about the SATs and college again. She was giving me crap about going out today and she didn’t say anything bad explicitly but she had this tone, y’know. And her face it was…” Belle trailed off. “I’m disappointing her. As always.” 

Pat’s brows furrowed. “Hey, don’t talk like that. How could you ever disappoint anyone?” 

“I don’t know. I’m just not like Andrew. Not what my parents want.” 

“You’re not ever gonna be Andrew cause you’re you. You’re Belle Ramos and you’re amazing.” Pat put an arm around her waist. 

“You’re too kind to me.” Belle had a hint of a smile on her lips. Not that Pat was looking. 

“I have to since you won’t be kind to yourself.” 

Belle moved closer to him this time and placed her head on his shoulder. “It’s hard sometimes.” 

Pat, on instinct, basically pulled her on top of him. He wrapped both of his arms around her while she burrowed her face into the crook of his neck, relishing in the comfort Pat was giving her. “I’ll help.”

“You do.” Belle hugged him tightly. “Thank you, Patty.”

“I’ll always be here for you.” Pat whispered. Belle felt heat creep up her cheeks. She was sure that she had turned red as a tomato. Pat, on the other hand, was trying not to lose his mind. Belle felt so warm and so nice against him. It wasn’t hard for him to picture holding her like this every day for the rest of his life. 

“I found them!” The pair heard Maz’s voice echo through the house. Pat and Belle separated from each other awkwardly. Hugging and being close to each other was normal for them but for some reason, they felt extremely uncomfortable being caught like in each other’s arms. 

Belle was confused as to why. People had seen them hug before. They always did it. But why did she feel so weird now? She glanced at Pat who didn’t look at her but she swore she could see a red tint spreading across his face. Belle smiled.

“So I got Monopoly, Clue, and-” Maz stopped short when he saw Pat and Belle sitting farther apart than he left them, both of their faces different shades of red. Maz smirked. “Am I interrupting something?” 

“No!” They both said at the same time. 

“Okay.” Maz took a seat in front of them. “What do you wanna play first?” 

“Clue.” Again, Belle and Pat said at the same time. They glanced at each other and laughed. They played while the primer dried completely. Maz tried to hide his smile as he watched his best friends steal glances while the other wasn’t looking. 

Belle was sitting in her room, drawing Pat’s blue-paint streaked face on her sketchbook. The day had ended with a full-on paint fight with her, Pat, and Maz getting paint on the walls and each other. Belle had swiped a paint-dipped hand across Pat’s cheek and she reveled for a second at how the color brought out the redness of his hair until Pat swiped his brush on her forehead. She was quite the sight when she got home with her mother immediately ordering her to go take a shower before dinner. 

Now, she was by her desk drawing her best friend in the dark. Again. She finished off the drawing with one last swoop of Pat’s hair. Belle admired how she managed to get Pat’s eyes perfectly. She flipped through her sketchbook and saw her older sketches. She wished she had more time to draw. 

On the desk, her phone vibrated. She flipped it open and saw a message from an unknown number.

_hey! you free to thrift tomorrow? xx tiff_

Sifting through the racks, Belle examined each piece of clothing with an expert eye. Years of practice had paid off and she was able to find the best pieces in whatever thrift shop she’d find herself in. Growing up with her parents, she always had to find ways to find the clothes she’d wanted without spending too much. Clothes won’t make you successful. She remembered what her mom had said when she asked for a skirt she saw at the mall one day. 

Belle just wanted to wear a cute outfit on the first day of school. 

She continued to flip through the different hangers, stopping occasionally when she found a piece she liked.

“Hey, what about this?” Belle looked up and saw Tiffany Evans holding up a rainbow-colored fringe top that looked more mop-like than it did a shirt. Belle tried to keep the disgusted look off her face but she could feel her brows furrowing and her mouth curling into a grimace. Tiffany chuckled. “Right. It is kinda disgusting.”

“No, it-it’s cute.” Belle tried to compliment it.

“You don’t have to lie.” Tiffany put back the ugly top. “I was just messing with you. I knew that was the ugliest f-ing top I’ve ever seen.” 

“Right.” Belle didn’t quite know what to do with herself. She didn’t know how she found herself shopping with the most popular girl in school. They had never talked before and Belle was almost sure that she Tiffany never knew she existed. 

“Okay, for real, how ‘bout this?” Tiffany showed her a tan, suede mini skirt. 

“Now, that’s a good find.” Belle turned back to the racks to get a blouse that she thought would go well together with the skirt. She pulled out a tight, knitted black turtleneck. “It’ll go perfectly with this.”

“Oh, cute!” Tiffany held the two pieces together. “Come with me. I’ll try these on.” The taller girl held onto the smaller’s hand and pulled her towards the dressing rooms. Belle stumbled over her own feet a bit but managed to get there unscathed. Tiffany ran into one of the empty stalls. “So Belle, how come I’ve never seen you around?” 

“Uh,” Belle didn’t know how to respond. “Actually, we’ve been classmates since middle school but I guess our paths have never crossed.” She said while wringing her hands. 

“Really?” Tiffany pulled the top on. Had she really been going to school with her for that long?

“Yeah, weird right?” Belle wrung her hands awkwardly as she leaned back against the wall. She really wasn’t good at conversation. Especially with people she didn’t know well at all. What would she even talk about with them? 

“Yeah,” Tiffany zipped up the skirt and admired how good she looked. Bet Pat would like to see me in this. She thought. Her mind drifted back to the girl on the other side of the door. Time to ham it up, Tiff. “It’s a shame. I’m really enjoying your company right now.”

Belle blinked. “You are?”

“Yeah, you’re sweet. Genuine. Not like some of my other friends.” Tiffany said while she fluffed her hair in the mirror. 

“Oh.” Belle smiled slightly. “I gotta be honest, I thought you were a bit…uh…” 

“A bit of a bitch?” Tiffany offered. 

“No, of course not! T-that’s not the word I would use.” Belle stammered.

“What would you use then?” Tiffany pushed the door open and smirked at the nervous girl. 

“Um…unapproachable?” 

Tiffany laughed. “Good save. So, what do you think?”

Belle saw how well the skirt rested against her thighs and how Tiff’s long neck accentuated the turtleneck sweater. Belle thought that she could probably never pull it off. “You look perfect.” 

“Thank you. I do look good, huh?” Tiffany posed. “Come on, let’s find you a cute outfit too.”

“Oh, no. This shopping trip was for you.” 

“I’ve found mine. I wanna pick you one out too.” Tiffany put her hands on Belle’s shoulders and pushed her back into the racks. Belle watched Tiffany excitedly flipping through the clothes. “Make you look all cute for Pat. Though you don’t need my help with that. He’s pretty smitten with you.”

Belle’s cheeks flared up. “I-, We-, W-we’re not like that. We’re just-”

“If you try to tell me that you’re ‘just friends’, I may actually shove you into one of these racks.” Tiffany put a hand on her waist. “I may not be as smart as you but I know about these things. He likes you and you like him.”

Belle ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “To be honest, I’ve been…confused about my feelings for him.”

“How so?” Tiffany cocked a brow.

“It’s just…” Belle was nervous. She’d never actually voiced out her less than friendly feelings for her best friend. She hadn’t even told Emily and now she wants to spill her guts to someone she’d spent less than 3 hours with. Had she lost her mind? Then again, a fresh perspective could shine some light on things. “I’ve known Pat for all my life and I don’t know. Recently, things have been different. I usually hate it when he plays his dumb punk songs but now all I can see is how he gets really into it and he does these stupid dances. And whenever he smiles at me, I feel like my heart’s gonna burst out of my chest.” 

Tiffany looked at Belle who had a wistful smile on her lips. She almost felt bad about what she was going to do. “Seems to me, you’ve got it bad.”

“I…I don’t wanna do anything that could make me lose him.” Belle panted. How did speaking her feelings out loud make her this tired? “I’m not gonna do anything about this.”

“Oh, but you should. Someone could snatch him up from right under your nose.” Tiffany held up a very distressed denim shirt in front of Belle to which she violently shook her head ‘no’. Tiffany turned back to the racks to hide the smirk forming on her lips.

Pat eased into the parking spot and Belle shrugged her bag on her shoulder. She held the brown paper bag, that had her breakfast in it prepared by Pat, in her hand before she turned to him. 

“I’ll see you at lunch?” 

“Of course, angel.” Pat smirked. Belle had an early first period and he had his first period off so he was gonna try to get some more minutes of sleep. 

“Have a good nap.” Belle ruffled his hair and stepped out of his car. Pat watched her walk across the lot and into the white building that was their high school. Only when she disappeared behind the doors, did he start to move. 

He rolled down the windows and took out his own brown paper bag. He pulled out the CD he had burned some of his favorite songs onto. Pat put it in the player and music began to play. He turned the volume all the way up. Pat sat in his car, listening to music, while he ate one of his sandwiches. He tapped his foot to the beat. 

Tiffany was fixing her bag just outside of her car when she heard the loud punk music start to echo across the parking lot. She actually recognized it since she did some research after her little shopping spree with Belle. She had gained some pretty good insight on one Pat Murray in that one shopping spree. 

So when she walked towards the car and saw Pat’s distinct profile, she decided her hard work would be put to good use. Tiffany fluffed her hair a bit and stood walked near enough to the door of Pat’s car. 

“I Miss You.”

Pat almost jumped out of his skin. He looked out of his window and saw Tiffany Evans leaning against his car. He slowly chewed on his sandwich. “What?”

“I Miss You. The song.” Tiffany pointed towards his radio. “By Blink 182. Right?” 

“Yeah.” Pat furrowed his brows. “You know punk?”

“I dabble in it every once in a while.” Tiffany flipped her hair over her shoulder. Pat really was a cutie and she was getting giddy. 

“Didn’t take you as someone who listens to punk.” Pat looked her up and down. Her tiny pink skirt and lace camisole didn’t exactly scream ‘punk’. 

“Well, you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.” Tiffany smiled flirtatiously. Pat found himself just a bit dazzled by her smile. What the hell? Another song started playing and Tiffany was relieved that she knew it. “American Idiot. You have good taste.”

“Thanks.” 

“I’ll see you around.” Tiffany gave him one last smile and walked off. Completely aware of Pat’s eyes following her every step. 

Pat ran a hand over his face as he stared helplessly at his physics homework. He had been looking at the same problem for about thirty minutes now and he was getting more and more frustrated each second. Belle was sat beside him on the floor of her living room while they both tried to finish their homework. She was scribbling furiously, knocking one problem down after the other. 

Her back was aching from folding over her notebook so she stretched out her tired muscles. She looked over to her right and saw Pat running his hands through his hair aggressively. Pat’s brows were furrowed and he was mumbling something under his breath. Belle reached out and gently touched one of his hands. Pat snapped his head in her direction and exhaled. 

“You okay?” Belle managed to pry one of his hands out of his hair. 

“I don’t get it.” Pat grumbled. 

“Which?” 

Pat pushed away his notebook and leaned back against the couch. Belle took one look at his face and saw the little crease between his brows get deeper with worry and anger. He was fidgeting with his hands and taking in deep breaths. Belle reached out for the notebook and a part of Pat felt guilty for acting out. She quickly read over his homework and answered it in her head. 

“I can help you.” Belle tugged on the sleeve of Pat’s checkered flannel. “Come on.”

“Belle, you know I’m no good at this stuff.” 

“I don’t wanna hear it. Come on, I’ll teach you.” Pat sighed and scooched forward so that he could see his notebook clearly. Belle very patiently helped Pat through each step of the problems until he could do it with minimal help. Belle was practically beaming with pride when Pat did the last problem all by himself. “You did it!”

“I did, didn’t I?” Pat was surprised with himself. Then again, he had the best tutor. Pat looked over at Belle who had her legs tucked underneath her with her flowy skirt covering the tops of her thighs. He almost had to peel his eyes from the sliver of skin that the skirt didn’t hide. You’re a fucking perv, Murray. He thought to himself. Pat dragged his eyes up and saw her sweet smile while she looked at him with so much pride that he could almost cry.

“You just need to practice, that’s all.” Belle put her legs out in front of her and yawned.

“You tired?” Pat asked. 

“A little.” Belle put her head on Pat’s shoulder. “But I need to finish my homework. I have to do two more problems for chem and then outline my essay for history.” 

“You go through chem problems like nothing. You can manage to take a quick nap.” Pat took off some of the throw pillows from the couch and put them on the floor. He pushed away their supplies and rested his head on one of the pillows. Pat tapped the pillow beside him. 

“You are a bad influence on me, Pat Murray.” Belle laid down beside him. “You’re supposed to tell me to work. Not sleep my problems away.” 

“It’s like you don’t know me at all. It’s common knowledge that I love a good nap.” Pat faced her. He watched her eyelids get heavy and his heart panged for her. Belle worked so hard all the time and she hardly ever gave herself a break recently. Sometimes, Pat had to quite literally pull her away from her books to eat lunch. “Plus, I think you’ll thank me after you stop running on 3 hours of sleep.” Pat’s soft whisper calmed her and Belle closed her eyes. 

“This is nice.” Belle mumbled sleepily and Pat hummed. Half-conscious, she felt Pat put an arm around her waist and pull her to his chest. She reveled in how warm he felt and how being in his arms made her feel extremely safe. Belle snuggled closer to him and Pat felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. “Wake me up in 30 minutes please.” With that, she fell into slumber.

Mariel and Richard came home together at around six in the evening. They tiredly walked up the porch and unlocked the door. The house was quiet and the lights were off. 

“Isn’t Belle supposed to be home by now?” Richard asked. 

“She should be.” Mariel turned on the lights. Richard heard some rustling coming from the living room and he immediately walked towards it. He slowed as he neared the corner and peeked into the room. There was no one there but he still heard the rustling so he walked to the back of the couch and saw the source of the sounds. 

Mariel stood beside her husband and smiled at the sight. Pat and Belle were laying on the floor, fast asleep. All of their school supplies were pushed over to the side while they napped peacefully. They had their arms around each other with their heads close together. Pat was so close to her that his lips were almost pressed against her forehead.

“I found them.” Richard said. 

“Let them sleep. Let’s start dinner.” 

Pat’s eyes fluttered open because of the light in the room. He noticed that the sky was dark and the sound of pans clattering. Under his arm, he felt something soft. Pat blinked the sleep away and saw Belle’s sleeping form. Some of her hair had fallen onto her face so Pat tucked it behind her ear. The motion stirred Belle awake and he rubbed her face against the scratchy pillow. 

“Good morning, sunshine.” Pat said. His low gravelly voice made Belle’s still sleepy brain go to mush. 

“You didn’t wake me up.” 

“You needed to sleep.” Pat toyed with the ends of her hair. 

“Wait, are my parents home?” Belle stood up abruptly. 

“I don’t know.” Pat rubbed his eyes. They could hear Mariel and Richard’s voices coming from the kitchen. “Oh, never mind, they’re here.”

“Come on. I smell food.” Belle tapped Pat’s shoulder. They lazily walked to the dining room and saw Richard setting the table. He looked up and smiled at the kids he had watched grow up together. 

“I see the two of you have joined the land of the living once again.” Richard put down four plates on the table and put utensils along with it. 

“I didn’t hear you guys come in.” Belle said. 

“Well, you were both out like rocks. We didn’t want to wake you.” Mariel called out. Belle could smell Mariel’s distinct cooking in the air and her stomach grumbled a bit. “Patrick, _anak_ , you’re going to have dinner with us. That’s an order.”

“I know better than to go against you, Mariel.” Pat walked over to his usual dinner seat. Right beside Belle.

“Smart boy. Isabelle, help me with the food.” Belle went to help her mom.

Richard put a hand on Pat’s shoulder. “I forgot to congratulate you on your game a couple of weeks ago. You boys played well.” 

“Thanks. I just hope we get to keep this energy until the end of the season.” 

“You will.” Richard clapped him on the back and sat down across from him. Belle and Mariel returned, hands full with plates of different dishes.

“Ok, _kain! Kain_!” Mariel invited everyone to eat. Pat accepted the invitation eagerly and scooped up some rice. Belle sat and shook her head at her best friend’s large appetite. She was always grateful for Pat’s company during dinner since his presence managed to distract her parents from her own future. So, Belle settled in her chair and enjoyed dinner for the first time in a long time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Parent Death, Sadness (?), Drunk Driving

_“Pat, you’re up!”  
_

_Little Pat Murray took a deep breath and put his helmet on. He pushed himself off the bench and took the bat from his coach. Eyes on the ball. Eyes on the ball. Pat repeated in his head while he walked to the batter’s plate. He adjusted his grip on the bat then looked at the pitcher in the middle of the field. The pitcher leaned back, raised his arm, and let the ball zip through the air._

_Pat kept his eye on the ball and swung. The wooden bat made contact with the ball causing a loud crack. Pat dropped the bat on the ground and ran as fast as his little legs allowed him to. Only a couple more feet but Pat could hear the other team screaming at each other to get the ball to first base, so Pat threw himself into the ground and slid. Dust flew onto his face but the ump’s “Safe!” made Pat smile._

_He pulled himself off the floor and looked into the bleachers where his mom and dad were both standing cheering for him. “That’s my boy!” Brian had cheered. Pat gave them a wide smile, showing off his missing front tooth, and waved enthusiastically._

_The rest of the game passed by in a flash, the game ending with Pat’s team taking home the win. Pat, tired and hungry for a pizza, ran towards the open arms of his mom._

_“Mommy!” He screeched. “Did you see how I slid?”_

_“I did, sweetheart! Oh, you were so good.” Julia Murray kissed her son’s cheek affectionately._

_“That’s because you’re here, mommy. You’re my good luck charm!” Pat clutched onto his mom while Brian rubbed his young son’s back. Brian shared a look with his wife._

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah whenever mommy watches, I always get a hit!”_

_“Well, darling, as long as I’m here you’ll never miss a ball.” Julia clutched Pat to her chest, lifting him off the ground. “I’m so glad I got to watch you today. It’s so much better than being stuck behind a desk on a Saturday.”_

_“Say, how ‘bout we go get the champ something to eat.” Brian motioned for Julia to hand over Pat. He put the little boy upon his shoulders while his wife picked up Pat’s bag. “I’m thinking pizza and ice cream? How’s that, kid?” Brian squeezed his son’s ankles._

_“Yes!” Pat exclaimed. The young parents laughed and looked at each other affectionately. How could they have made such a perfect little thing?_

_“Patty, I heard you made a new friend in the playground.” Julia entwined her fingers with Brian’s._

_“Oh, yeah! Her name’s Belle and she’s an artist and she’s super cool!”_

_“She’s an artist? Tell me more about her then!” Pat rambled on about his new friend as his parents listened attentively, so in love with their little angel._

Pat’s vision cleared and suddenly he wasn’t 7 anymore, up on his dad’s shoulders after a good game on a sunny day. No, he was 17 now. Sitting on a cold bench with the chilly air surrounding him. Pat closed another button on his leather letterman’s jacket. Turning his head to the left, he was greeted by the beautiful sight of Belle Ramos’ concentration face. 

A pale blue coat over a white sweater kept the cold away while she had her feet tucked underneath her. Her sketchbook laid flat across her lap while she carefully drew the scene in front of her. The pond was starting to ice over and the trees had lost their leaves. Belle was scribbling furiously. Each stroke made with precision that she had mastered over the years. Pat put an arm around her shoulders when Belle stopped scribbling, not wanting to disturb her process.

“You okay?” Belle asked him. 

“Yeah.” Pat leaned his head against hers. 

“You sure? We can go if you’re bored.” Belle started to close her sketchbook but Pat stopped her. 

“My neck’s just stiff. Don’t worry, angel. I know you need time to draw and you can’t exactly do that at home.” Pat ran his finger across the lead lines. 

Belle wasn’t buying it. She knew what day it was, what was coming soon. Of course, she did. But she knew that it was best to just let Pat deal with it in his own way. Even if his own way meant closing himself off from everyone. 

“Okay.” Belle nudged Pat’s finger a bit, a small gesture of comfort. Just to let him know that she was here for him. Pat curled his index finger around hers. He needed to ground himself as much as he could. “What do you think?” She lifted the sketchbook so they could both look at it up close. 

Pat looked down at her sketch and smiled. Belle truly was so talented. It’s such a shame she has to hide it. “It’s beautiful.”

Brian Murray moved the eggs around the hot pan. Saturday mornings were always nice. He forgot all about the stress of the week and just focused on relaxing. Usually, he’d work on his car or mow the lawn but today he just felt like making a filling breakfast for him and his son. He slid the eggs onto a plate, whistling a tune he heard on the radio. His whistling was interjected by the whistling of the kettle. They were steadily charging through the winter with the air getting colder and colder each day so Brian decided to make some piping hot, hot chocolate. 

He popped some slices of bread into the toaster and he began to prepare the dinner table. The faint memory of a woman’s laughing voice telling him that he wasn’t fixing the table properly crossed his mind. If he focused on the memory even harder, he could still feel the press of her soft lips on his cheek. Her small hand covering his, pulling them away from wet glass that he was about to put straight on the wooden table. Brian smiled. 

Only a few more days and it was gonna be 6 years without…

“Pat!” Brian called out. “Breakfast’s ready!” 

Pat packed his bag with the stuff he needed for batting practice. Technically, there wasn’t any practice now that they were well into the winter but Pat just needed to forget. And today, freezing in the baseball field sounded like the best distraction. He shouldered his bag onto his shoulder and climbed down the stairs quickly. The smell of freshly cooked eggs and hot chocolate wafted through the air. Pat’s stomach rumbled. He shook his head. 

“Grab a plate, kid!” Brian smiled brightly when Pat crossed the kitchen. “Where are you going?” 

“BP.” Pat didn’t want to meet his dad’s eye. 

“BP? It’s the middle of winter.” Brian put his hands on his waist. 

“I don’t care. I need to practice.” 

“There aren’t any more games this year. You can practice after the new year.” 

“It can’t wait that long. I’ll see you later.” Pat began to go to the door when Brian called for him. 

“Patrick, you can’t go batting. You’re gonna get sick.” Brian approached his son. 

“Well, you can’t exactly stop me.” Pat furrowed his brows. 

“Son,” Brian sighed, exasperatedly. “Talk to me? Please? I know this is a hard time. Trust me, I’m going through the same shit but we can’t…we can’t shut each other out. I need you, kid. And you need me.”

Pat blinked. A part of him felt guilty but he just needed to get out of the house. He turned his back to his dad and all but ran out of the house. Brian released a deep breath as he watched the truck pull out of the garage. He went back into the kitchen and picked up the phone, dialing a number that he had memorized. It rang for a couple of seconds then a gruff voice answered. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi, Richard.” Brian greeted.

“Brian!” Richard Ramos replied. “Everything alright?”

“Not really.” Brian ran a hand a face down his face. “Is Belle around?”

Pat panted and stared at the pitching machine that he rolled out in the middle of the field about an hour ago. Pat’s gloved hands clutched onto the bat and braced himself for the ball. The machine whirred and the ball came straight for him. His entire body, tensed and ready to move.

But it didn’t.

Pat tried to move but his mind and body weren’t on the same page. He tried to move his arms but it was too late and the ball soared past his head, hitting the back of the fence. He cursed out loud and for once there was no one telling him to watch his language. No one else was in the field. No one else was stupid enough to be out in the cold. Pat shivered for a second. The thin baseball jersey and shirt he had underneath definitely didn’t help to keep him warm. 

“You’re gonna get sick.” 

Pat turned and saw Belle standing right behind the fence. She wore a white coat and a thick scarf. Pat thought that she looked absolutely angelic. He basically had to peel his eyes away from her and look back at the machine. 

“My dad send you?” Pat said before the machine pitched another ball at him. This time he managed to make contact with it but it came out a foul. He let out another curse, softer than the last one. 

“Yeah.”

“Figures. He needed to get reinforcement.” Pat grunted as he swung again. Belle walked onto the field, quite dangerously since balls were flying at a steady pace. Pat saw her walking towards him and he immediately pushed her out of the line of fire. “What do you think you’re doing? You could get hit by a ball.” 

“What do you think you’re doing? It’s cold as fuck out here and you’re batting?” Pat’s eyes widened. Belle hardly ever swore and when she did, it was always when she was extremely mad. 

“I needed a distraction.” Pat took his hands off her shoulders. A shiver crawling up his spine. 

“You can’t be out here.” Belle sighed. “You are going to catch your death.” 

“Yeah, well, the cold numbs me.” Pat walked towards the pitching machine that was still chucking balls at the chain net. He turned off the switch. Belle watched him put his hands on the machine and hang his head. She sighed. She walked closer to him until Belle was standing right behind him. Carefully lifting her hand, she placed it on his back. Pat straightened up when he felt her hand trail down to his waist. Belle wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his back. 

Belle felt so warm against him and her arms were so soft. Pat was almost on the verge of tears. He put his hands on Belle’s arms. She squeezed him tighter and let him take several shaky breaths. Pat blinked away the tears and tried to focus on Belle but a few tears fell down his cheeks. He furiously wiped them away and when he turned back to face her, it’s like he’d never shed any tears at all. 

But Belle heard his sniffles, felt his chest heave. She wished that she could take away all the pain he was feeling. Belle unwound her scarf off her neck and wrapped it around Pat’s, making sure he was wrapped tightly. Pat sighed and dropped his gaze to the ground. “You don’t have to tell me anything. Let’s just get out of the cold. Okay?” Belle whispered. 

Pat looked up and met her big brown eyes. They held so much worry and concern and something else that he couldn’t quite pinpoint. Her long brown hair flew into her face because of the wind, covering her cold-induced red cheeks. Pat brushed it away from her face and cupped her cheek. He leaned in and pressed his lips to her head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Belle suddenly felt very warm all over. “Let’s go?” 

“Yeah.” Pat managed to put on a small smile to which Belle returned. They both started walking out of the field. “How’d you get here?”

“I biked.” Belle said matter-of-factly. Pat gripped Belle’s wrist causing her to stop. 

“You biked in this weather?” He exclaimed. 

Belle raised a brow. “Says the guy that decided batting practice while it’s 5 degrees outside was a good idea.” 

Pat smirked. “You always did know how to outsmart me.” 

“Of course, I do. I am the smart one.” Belle shrugged. 

“So, does that make me the pretty one?” Pat joked. Belle narrowed her eyes at him. “You gotta admit it, angel. I am a looker.”

“Sure, you are.” Belle would never admit to him what she really thought. “Come on, I’ve got a cup of hot cocoa at home with your name on it.” 

The last few days of school were pretty chill. Finals were over, SAT scores had come back for most, and college applications were sent in. Classes were basically over and everyone was just eager for the holidays to start. People were bustling around, giving each other gifts before they went their separate ways for the break. Tiffany Evans was handing out gifts to her very exclusive circle of friends. She chatted and laughed with her friends when she saw a head of auburn walk past her. The leather letterman jacket giving away exactly who it was.

She pushed past her friends without another word and walked up to Pat. Tiffany tapped his shoulder. He turned around and furrowed his brows. “Hi, Tiffany.” Pat said.

“Hey,” She smiled, brightly. “You excited for Christmas break?” 

“Yeah, just wanna get out of this place for a couple of weeks.” 

“Any plans?” Tiffany popped her hip to the side and batted her eyes at him. Pat blinked, a little confused.

“Uh, just staying home with my dad probably.” Pat kept his answers short and his eyes drifted around the hallways. Keeping an eye out for his favorite raven-haired beauty. 

“Me too! Do you wanna hang out sometime? We could go get some hot cocoa, a cinnamon roll.” Tiffany stepped closer. “Maybe sit under a mistletoe..”

Pat raised a brow and heard someone’s laugh coming from behind him. A laugh that he knew better than anyone else’s. Pat looked back and saw Belle coming out of one of the classrooms (AP History, to be exact). She was laughing at something Emily Kasser had said. A big smile crossed Pat’s face and Tiffany followed his gaze and saw him looking at Belle. The smile immediately fell off her face. “I gotta go.” Pat said without even looking back at Tiffany.

A scoff came from the blonde as she watched Pat run towards Belle Ramos. A smitten smile came over her face when Pat stopped beside her. Belle’s eyes flittered behind Pat’s head and she saw Tiffany at the end of the hallway. She smiled even brighter and waved at her to which Tiffany returned the smile with her own wave. When the raven-haired girl turned her gaze away, the smile melted away from Tiffany’s face and was replaced by a frown. She glared at the happy couple.

She had to work harder.

“I’ve got a surprise for you.” Pat told Belle.

“And that’s my cue to leave.” Emily spoke up. Her presence was almost forgotten when the two “best friends” met each other’s gaze. “I’ll see you in English.” She pinched Belle’s hand as she passed in between the two. Belle yelped and glared at her friend. 

“What’s the surprise?” Belle rubbed the skin. 

“If I tell you, then it won’t be a surprise.” Pat smirked. 

“Patty, c’mon. Tell me, please?” Belle showed her best puppy-dog eyes at him. The ones she knew always worked on him. He almost caved right then and there.

“Nope. That’s not working on me now.” Pat put his arm around her shoulders and gently guided her down the hallway. “Plus, not knowing is all part of the fun.” 

“But-” 

“No buts!” Belle pouted at him and Pat just laughed, pulling her closer to him. “Just trust me. We’re gonna have a lot of fun.” 

With those words, Belle felt her heart skip a beat. “What are you up to, Murray?” 

“No.” Belle crossed her arms and furrowed her brows at Pat. 

“Please?” Pat faced her.

“No.” 

“C’mon!” 

“I’m not gonna jump into a pool in the middle of winter with you, Pat.” Belle glared at her best friend. Pat looked at her exasperatedly. They were both shielded from the cold bite of the winter air while they were inside of Pat’s heated truck and Belle was not about to leave it. But Pat had other plans when he pulled up just outside of the public pool. 

“It’ll be fun, angel, please.” Pat tried to give her the same big eyes she always used on him but Belle was strong and stood firm.

“Freezing doesn’t exactly sound fun, Pat.” 

“We won’t even be in the water long. We jump in for a second, get out, then run back to the heated car. Simple!” Pat moved his hands wildly, animating each step in his dumb plan.

“We’d still be freezing when we run back to the car. I don’t exactly want to be stuck at home sick during winter break.” Belle said, pointedly. 

“Fine.” Pat unbuckled his seatbelt. “I’ll go alone then. Wait here.”

“What?” Belle watched him open the door. “Pat, wait!” She watched him run and jump over the fence. An exasperated sigh escaped her. Belle buttoned her coat up and pulled it tighter around her before she left, albeit reluctantly, the warm comfort that the heater gave her. She climbed over the fence more slowly and carefully than how Pat had launched himself over it. She made sure that the fleece-lined tights she wore underneath her pinafore dress wouldn’t get caught in the chain links. When she finally got to the other side, Pat was laughing at her. “Don’t laugh, prick. I’m trying to stop you from getting hypothermia.”

“You just looked so adorable climbing over that fence.” Pat tilted his head at her affectionately. 

“Don’t patronize me, Patrick.” Belle straightened out her dress and coat. Hearing her say his full name, kinda knocked the air out of Pat. He had to take a second before he spoke again. 

“I wasn’t. I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, you can make it up to me by not jumping in there.” Belle cocked her head towards the pool.

“How about I make you dinner instead?”

“We both know you can’t cook. Remember when we made macaroni and cheese?” Belle reminisced.

“I still don’t know how I managed to burn it.” Pat laughed. “You’re really not gonna go with me huh?” Belle shook her head. “Then can you hold my jacket? Leather and water do not mix well together.”

Pat shrugged off his letterman jacket and handed it to her. Belle watched him toe off his sneakers and socks until he was just left in his jeans and a white t-shirt. “Don’t stay in the water too long, okay?” 

“I’ll be in and out like the Flash.” Pat winked at her and turned back to the clear water. The smell of chlorine was strong. The water was rippling and Pat dipped a finger in. Nice and cold. Perfect. Pat took a couple of steps back and charged towards the water, jumping at the last second for a perfect cannonball. For a second, it was quiet and peaceful. Pat was just floating in the water, weightless. His mind was blank and he liked that. The noisy thoughts in his head were frozen out. He wanted to stay under the surface of the water for a couple more seconds but then he knew that Belle would be worried sick so he pushed his head out of the water. Pat took a deep breath and pushed his hair off his face. 

He opened his eyes and saw Belle squatting by the edge of the pool, clutching his jacket to her chest. “You were under there for more than a second and I got worried.” 

“Sorry, angel.” Pat swam closer to her. “The water’s not that bad in here.”

“Sure, it is.” Belle tried not to look at how his shirt clung to his biceps tautly. 

“No, I’m serious. Come in. I’ll take care of you.” Pat put his wet hand on top of hers. Belle looked at him. The blue light reflecting from the water brought out the red of his hair and cast beautiful shadows all over his face. She was enchanted by him. So much that she couldn’t believe that she was considering going into the pool. 

“If I get sick, I’m blaming you.” Pat smiled when Belle put down his jacket and took off her coat. She gently took off her beige oxford shoes and tights. Pat sucked in a breath that he swore was because of the cold and not the fact that Belle was practically undressing in front of him. When she was just left in her dress and sweater, Belle stood by the edge. She put a toe in the water and jumped slightly because of the cold. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Senior year, sweetheart. We’re making memories.” Pat held onto her hands. “You ready?” 

“No.” Belle said bluntly which made Pat laugh. She took a deep breath and jumped into the water. She was immersed in the cold water almost immediately. When she emerged from the water again, Belle splashed Pat with water. “The w-water’s not bad, my ass.” She stuttered with a choked laugh. 

“You did it anyway!” Pat splashed water at her too. They continued splashing each other until Pat noticed Belle’s normally pink lips turning a slight shade of blue. He swam towards her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Belle put her hands on his arms. “We should go. Your lips are turning blue.” 

“Please. I already forgot what heat feels like.” 

They braced themselves for the cold air and got out of the water. They collected their clothes and ran to the car, hand in hand. Once the doors were all shut and the heater was turned all the way up, they laughed. “That was the craziest thing I’ve ever done!” Belle exclaimed. She was actually quite proud of herself. This night would certainly be a fun story to look back to when they were older. 

“I’m glad you did it with me.” Pat leaned back into the chair and enjoyed the heat fanning over his cheeks. “Thank you.” 

Belle turned her head and saw him with his eyes closed. The color was slowly coming back to him, the chilly blue color already fading away. “I’m with you even if it makes me blue.” Pat smiled. He opened his eyes and saw her long black hair sticking to her face. Belle was leaning forwards and had placed her hands in front of the heating vents, trying to defrost them. She had her coat over her but she was still shaking. Pat pulled off his jacket and put it over her shoulders. “Patty, you need to get warm.”

“You need it more. Don’t worry about it.” Pat pushed her hair behind her ear. Pat reached back and found one of his thin sweatshirts. It would do until he got home. Belle saw how his shirt accentuated the muscles on his chest and abdomen. Suddenly, she felt very warm all over. Pat tugged on the sweatshirt over his wet shirt. “Let’s go home.”

Belle nodded. Pat started to drive away from the pool when he sneezed loudly. 

“I told you, you’d get sick!”

Pat Murray and John Mazzello walked side by side through the big mall with one goal in mind. To get their Christmas shopping done before it was too late. Last year, they had learned the hard way that fighting off the sale shoppers was more intense than batting against the best pitcher in the league. After barely getting out of the mall unscathed, they had vowed to never do their holiday shopping late ever again.

And they were men of their words.

The mall was still fairly packed but not nearly as packed as, what the boys had aptly named, Chrismaggeddon. They managed to stroll down without almost getting run down by a stressed mother with a stroller. 

“What do you think of socks?” 

“Socks?” Pat furrowed his brow.

“Yeah, socks.” Maz nodded.

“You’re going to give socks to Joe?” 

“Yankees socks.” 

“Oh, well then he’s gonna love them.” Pat agreed. 

“Right, it’s the perfect gift.” Maz said a smidge of pride in his tone. “What are you planning to get Belle?” 

At the mention of her, Pat’s face cracked into a smile. “I think I’m gonna get her some of those paints that she was looking at a couple of weeks ago.” 

“Wait,” Maz interrupted. “Those expensive ones from the bougie art store?”

“Yeah.” Pat shrugged. 

“How the hell are you gonna afford that?” Maz wondered. Pat was acting way too calm about spending $100 on paint.

“I’ve been working extra shifts at dad’s shop. And I mow the neighbors’ lawns on the weekends so I’ve saved a bit to get her a good gift.” Pat’s back straightened up, proud that he was able to do that for her.

“Don’t you wanna save a bit of that for yourself?” 

“No.” Pat said without hesitation. Belle Ramos was worth every penny and more. Pat saw the art store where he had been excitedly pulled in quite a few times by one short girl and gestured for Maz to follow him. A few minutes later and the pair exited the store, Pat’s wallet a lighter but his heart so much fuller. The boys finished up the rest of their shopping and exited the mall.

As they neared Maz’s car, they were greeted with three unfriendly faces. Faces of their rival. The St. Catherine Tigers. 

“Well, well. Nice to run into you. Maz. Murray.” Warren Drew greeted with fake niceness. He glanced down at the bag in Pat’s hand. “Didn’t take you for a Michael’s guy, Murr. Finally quitting baseball for a new passion? About time!” 

Warren high-fived one of his friends. Pat was silently fuming and clutching the plastic bag tightly. Maz immediately went into peacemaker mode. “C’mon guys, it’s the holidays.”

“I’m just kidding around with my pal, Murray.” Warren walked towards Pat and put his hand on his shoulder. “Right?”

“Fuck off.” Pat growled through his teeth. 

“Alright, Pat, let’s go.” Maz put a hand on his best friend’s shoulder and pulled him towards his car before Pat could do anything stupid.

“Running away? Ah, I get it. Gotta keep those muscles working since you can’t get past home base, am I right?” Maz sighed and Pat clenched his fists. He tried to calm himself down but he felt the overwhelming anger overcome him and before he knew it, Pat was shoving Belle’s gift into Maz’s hands and turning around to punch Warren Drew’s smug face square in the jaw. Pat panted as he watched Warren clutch his jaw and look up at him incredulously. “What the fuck!” 

Warren’sfist collided with Pat’s mouth and chaos ensued. Maz tried to step in but Pat had tackled Warren into the pavement. Fists continued to fly and Pat could feel the iron taste of blood in his mouth. The searing pain in his fists was ignored as his anger blinded him. Another hit came to his eye and he saw spots in his vision. Pat rolled to the side until Maz came to help him up.

Pat could barely open his eye and he could faintly hear Maz asking if he was okay before leading him to his car. Maz helped him inside while Pat clutched his eye and groaned. Maz started the car and began to drive out of the mall parking lot. “I’m taking you to the hospital.” 

“No!” 

“I can’t not take you to the hospital! Your lip is cut open!” Maz exclaimed.

“I’m not going to the hospital, John!” Pat shouted. Maz sighed and pulled the car over. He looked over at his friend who had drops of blood on his shirt and his left eye slowly turning blue. He racked his brain for an idea and pulled out his phone. If Pat didn’t want to go to the hospital, maybe there was one person who could talk him into it. Maz pulled out his phone and quickly texted.

_pats hurt meet me at my house in 10 minutes_

Maz hit send and drove back home as fast as the law allowed him to. Pat winced when he wiped his lip with his shirt. The adrenaline had finally worn off and he was starting to feel the pain in his body. A couple more minutes of driving and they arrived at the Mazzellos’ home. 

Belle was sitting on the front porch steps, bouncing her knee in anxiety while she waited for John to come home. Her heart stopped when she read the words “Pat’s hurt” and all but ran out of the house. With every car that passed by, her head snapped up but Belle would just sigh in disappointment when it wasn’t them. Belle was fiddling with her fingers when John’s car pulled up into the driveway, haphazardly. Almost immediately, she shot up and sucked in a breath when she caught a glimpse of Pat’s bruised face. 

John stepped out of the car and went over to the passenger side to help Pat out of the car. Belle rushed forward when Pat basically stumbled out of the car. Pat looked down at her with one eye shut. He managed a weak smile. “Hey, angel.”

“What happened?” Belle tried not to scream when she saw the patches of blood on his shirt. 

“Those Tigers bastards happened.” Pat spat. John half-carried Pat inside to the living room and sat him down on the couch. Pat huffed and rested his head on the back of the couch. 

“John, could you get uh, a towel? And band-aids and uh, alcohol?” Belle fumbled, racking her brain for other things Pat would need. She looked up helplessly at John. He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. 

“I got it, Belle.” John said assuringly. Belle took a shaky breath and turned her attention back to Pat. He had his eyes closed but he winced with every breath. This was a completely different view than what she had just a few days ago when they had jumped into that icy pool. Before, his hair was matted down with water and his cheeks almost blue from the cold but he still kept a smile on his face. Now, his hair was matted with sweat and his red cheeks were speckled with pavement scratches. 

“Patty, can you tell me what happened?” 

“Maz and I were just doing some Christmas shopping then we ran into our friends from St. Catherine. And that fucker Warren Drew said some things and then I punched him in the face.” Pat tried to smirk when he remembered Warren’s face when he realized Pat had punched him. Then the smirk turned into a pained wince cause of the cut on his lip.

“You got into a fight?” Belle was very much aware of Pat’s anger issues but it never escalated into violence. Pat would never. “You never get into fights.”

“I know. The adrenaline was amazing though.” 

That made Belle even more worried than she already was. She was about to say something when Maz came back with a small bowl of water, a towel, and a first aid kit. “Belle, can you start on his lip? I’m gonna find an ice pack or something for his eye.” 

John Mazzello. Ever the leader. 

Belle opened the kit and looked around for the disinfectant. She cursed under her breath when she couldn’t find it. A hand came into her line of sight and reached into the kit to pull out a yellow bottle. Pat held it out for her. 

“Thanks.” Belle took out a cotton ball and was about to soak it with medicine when Pat’s bruised hand held hers. 

“Gotta clean the wound first.” Pat spoke quietly.

“Right.” Belle grabbed the bowl and dampened the towel. She brought it up to his face and gently dabbed away at the cuts. Pat hissed at the first touch and Belle instinctively cupped his cheek. Her soft hands distracted him slightly from the sting. Belle was gently cooing at him that he was gonna be fine. That it was gonna be okay.

It reminded him of someone else who used to clean his wounds for him. 

_“Patty, it’s gonna be okay.” Julia Murray cooed at her young son. Pat had tripped during the game and cut his lip open. He cried and wailed. Julia’s heart panged and she held back her own tears. She dabbed the wet towel on his quivering lip. Big watery eyes looked up at her and she tried not to look at them in fear of breaking down._

_Why couldn’t she just take his pain away?_

_“Mommy, it hurts.”_

Just punch me in the throat it would be less painful. _The young mother thought._

_“I know, sweetheart. But mommy needs to clean your booboos first.” She had gotten most of the blood off. Julia sighed. “You were so brave.”_

_“I was?” Pat sniffed._

_“Yes, you were. If I got a cut like that on my lip, I would’ve cried for a week but my strong boy didn’t cry that much!” Julia scooped her son into her arms and held him tight. Little Pat Murray nuzzled his face into his mother’s neck. “I think you deserve a reward.”_

_“Ice pop?” Pat gasped._

_“Ice pop.” Julia said seriously. Pat cheered and she laughed. She hoisted Pat up on her hip and brought him to the kitchen to give him ice pops for his busted lip._

“Pat.” Belle’s voice brought him back to the present. “You can’t keep doing this.” 

“Doing what?” 

“Don’t play dumb. You know what I’m talking about.” Belle looked him straight in the eye. “All of this reckless shit. Almost freezing to death? Twice? Getting into fights? I can’t stand seeing you purposefully putting yourself in danger.” Belle wasn’t sure what else to say. She stopped her dabbing and sighed. 

Pat studied Belle’s furrowed brows and frowning mouth. He felt so guilty. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry. I want you to talk to me. We tell each everything right? Please…please let me in.” Belle pleaded. Her small hand curled around his. Her thumb grazed his bruised knuckles softly. 

“I…I don’t know what I’m feeling.” Pat started. “It’s just…every time the day gets closer it’s like the inside of my head gets so noisy and everything reminds me of m-mom.” His voice cracked and Belle could see the tears form in his eyes. “And remembering her hurts. I just want it all to fucking go away. I don’t- It doesn’t make sense.”

“Pat, it doesn’t have to make sense.” Belle cupped his cheek once more. “Just let yourself feel. Don’t lock it all away inside. It’s not gonna do you any good.” 

“I know. And you’ve been amazing as always but…” The first tear fell and it was like a dam exploded. Pat sobbed loudly. He felt like the weight had finally lifted off his chest. Belle held him close to her and his arms wound around her waist. Pat clutched onto her like she was his lifesaver, keeping him from sinking and drowning. Belle carded her fingers through his hair and pushed his face into her shoulder. 

“I miss her too.” Belle whispered. Julia Murray was one of the kindest people she had ever met. They were only 10 when a drunk driver crashed into her while she was on the way home from work. It was so sudden and no one knew what to do. Belle remembered how Pat locked himself in his room for a week. She was the only one who was able to convince him to come down and eat something. “Just let it out. It’s gonna be okay. I’m here.”

Maz came running into the living room when he heard Pat start to sob. He saw Belle and Pat in each other’s arms. Pat was shaking and Belle was talking to him quietly. Maz walked quietly behind the couch and wrapped his arms around both of his friends. 

Pat was greeted by the faint smell of bacon in the air when he woke the next morning. His body ached and he had trouble opening his left eye but managed to peel it open. When Maz and Belle dropped him off at his house yesterday, he had gotten an earful from his dad and forced him to go to the hospital. 

There was nothing serious just some scratches and bruises. He didn’t even need stitches on his lip. Before his dad had basically dragged him by the ear, Belle had given him a hug and told him to talk to his dad. To which he just sighed and promised her he would. 

He had yet to keep his promise. 

Pat groaned and forced himself up with much effort. He took a breath before he stood. Let’s just get it over with. Pat made his trek downstairs and when he entered the kitchen, he found his dad sitting by the dining table while he read the morning paper. Brian didn’t look up when Pat stumbled in. 

Pat waited for his dad to look up but he didn’t. “Good morning.” He said, awkwardly.

“Morning.” Brian greeted and turned to the next page of the paper. “Breakfast is over there. Just get a plate.” 

Pat blinked at his dad’s coldness but walked to the counter to get himself a plate of bacon and eggs. He clutched onto his plate and sat across from his dad. All he could see was his eyebrows peeking over the newspaper. Pat sighed and looked down at his food. A faint memory played in his head. 

“Remember when mom used to make the bacon and eggs into a smiley face.” Pat thought aloud. Brian stopped reading. “She would put the plate in front of me and move the bacon to look like a mouth. Then she’d make the egg eyes and she’d kiss my cheek.” An imaginary brush against Pat’s cheek made him smile. “Then she’d tell me that I should eat the eyes first. It was more humane that way.”

“I think she just wanted you to eat less bacon.” Brian commented. Pat looked up and saw Brian folding the newspaper. “She always was trying to get us to eat healthier.” 

“Do you remember that time we went to the pizza place and we ordered the biggest pizza and mom said that she was done eating carbs and ordered the saddest salad. And we were eating and she kept looking at us.” Pat remembered. 

“And I just put a piece on top of the salad and she stared at it for 2 minutes before basically inhaling the pizza.” Brian chuckled. Julia was so funny. He pushed back his chair and moved to sit beside Pat. He squeezed his shoulder affectionately. Father and son continued to reminisce while the sunlight seeped through the window, engulfing them in a warm embrace. 


	5. Christmas

“Whoa!” Belle gripped onto the wall when something collided with her legs. She looked down and saw her little cousin, Mark, clutching onto her leg like a koala. He laughed loudly and Belle tried to shake him off with much effort.

“Ate!” Mark giggled and gripped onto her leg even tighter. Belle tried to walk with the little toddler attached to her leg but couldn’t get any farther than 5 steps. Belle bent down and picked up Mark in her arms.

“You’re getting so heavy!” She pinched his sides.

“Can we draw again?” Mark looked at her with big eyes.

“Of course we can! Come on!” Belle put him back on the floor and held onto his hands. She led him to the living room where she had set up a little art corner for all the kids to draw while the adults talked amongst themselves. There were a couple of other cousins already scribbling on the multiple pieces of paper Belle had left. Mark ran away from her and situated himself in the empty space. Belle sat behind him and watched as he grabbed a crayon and dragged it across the paper.

Once the kids were distracted, Belle turned her attention to the rest of her family. They were loudly chatting with glasses of wine and bottles of beer in hand. She knew that it would take a couple more hours before her uncles would be sober enough to drive home. Belle saw her mom deep in conversation with her sister, probably gossiping about another family member. This was probably a good time to go out.

As much as she loved annual Christmas family reunions, her family was a lot to deal with it. Noisy Filipino aunts and uncles always found a way to drain Belle’ energy. But hey, she loved the kids. She ruffled Mark’s hair and pushed herself up off the floor. Walking towards the front door, she pulled her phone out of her plaid dress shorts and texted.

_meet me outside!_

Not even a minute later her phone buzzed with a new reply.

_see you there angel =}_

Belle felt a flutter in her chest. She tugged on her blue peacoat over her shoulders, tugged on her gloves and plopped her bonnet on top of her hair. She pulled off a green gift bag and a plastic bag holding a tupperware with the leftovers she had packed for the Murrays earlier. Belle reached for the door knob but then a voice stopped her.

“Escaping?”

 _Busted_.

Freezing in place, she turned around and saw her dad standing behind her.

“Uh…” Belle tried to explain.

“Where you off to?”

“I just…I was gonna give Pat his gift and some leftovers. I’ll be quick! Ten minutes tops!” Belle showed Richard the bag and tupperware. Richard looked at them and looked back up at his daughter.

“Be back in twenty minutes. We’re gonna take pictures.” Richard walked back to the living room without another word. Belle smiled and opened the door, shutting it behind her as quietly as she could. She walked down the stairs and took a couple of steps down the sidewalk. Pat was sitting by the curb and had a red paper bag in between his legs. He looked up when he heard the clack of Belle’s heels on the pavement. Immediately, a wide grin spread across his face and his heart started pounding against his chest.

“You look beautiful.” Pat complimented. He wouldn’t usually be this forward and he already felt his cheeks starting to warm up despite the cold December air but Belle Ramos looked too beautiful standing under the streetlights to not say anything.

“Oh, shush.” Belle stepped off the sidewalk to sit beside her favorite baseball player. “I brought you some leftovers. Enough to share with Brian.”

Pat took the plastic bag from Belle and placed it on the ground in between them. “Thank you. I have something for you too.”

“Yeah?” Belle grinned.

“Yeah. Here.” Pat handed her the red paper bag. Belle met his gaze for a second and a wave of giddiness came over her. She looked down to hide the silly smile she couldn’t fight off. Belle opened the bag and pushed the white tissue paper back. Her hands froze when she saw a glimpse of what was inside. Belle reached inside and pulled out the heavy tin box, putting it on her lap.

“Pat…” Belle trailed off. The box of paint that she had only dreamed of having was now on her lap. “How… Pat this costs more than a hundred dollars. How did you…”

“Don’t worry about it.” Pat shrugged.

“T-this is too much. I don’t know if I can accept this.” Belle stammered. How did Pat even save that much money?

“Nope. You’re gonna take it and make something beautiful. I didn’t work extra shifts for nothing.” Pat scooched closer to her and put his hands on top of hers. He made her grip the box tightly.

“You worked extra shifts?” Belle turned her head to the right.

“Yeah. I wanted to get you something nice. I wanted to get you this.” Pat said firmly, looking Belle straight in the eye. He saw her start to tear up.

“This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” Belle’s voice cracked. Sitting beside her was the sweetest boy she knew.

 _No_.

The sweetest boy in the world.

Belle was so sure that no other man would come close to Pat Murray. And to have him here, holding her hands…. Belle realized that she didn’t want anyone else to be by her side and holding her hands. She slid her hand out from under Pat’s larger one and cupped his cheek. Pat’s heart raced when Belle pulled him to her and pressed her lips against his cheek. When she pulled back, she was thankful for the dark night sky since it hid her red cheeks. Pat blinked at her, dazed. “Thank you, Patty.”

“Y-you’re welcome, angel.”

“Now I feel silly about my gift to you.” Belle moved closer to Pat and put her head on his shoulder. Pat wrapped his arm around her waist. “I don’t think I could ever top this.” Belle ran her gloved finger across the cold tin.

“Whatever it is I know I’ll love it.” Pat rested his cheek on the top of her head and entwined his fingers with hers. Belle looked at how perfectly her hand looked in his.

“And why’s that?” Belle asked.

“Cause it’s from you.” And I love you. Pat wanted to add.

“You’re such a smooth talker, Patrick.” Belle gave him the green gift bag. He unwillingly unwound himself from her so that he could open his gift. He peeled off the tape she had put to close the bag and reached inside. He felt a box and pulled it out. It was an unassuming brown cardboard box but Belle had painted a portrait of him on the top of the box. He was focused whilst mid-throw and Pat was in awe of the level of detail Belle had put in. From the furrowed brow to the way he grasped the ball.

“Belle, this is amazing. You’re so fucking talented. It’s insane!” Pat exclaimed. Belle giggled while Pat looked over the painting with childlike eyes.

“I’m glad you like it but my gift’s inside of the box.” She gestured for him to pull off the lid.

“Oh, right.” Pat took it off and gasped. “You didn’t!” Belle had the biggest smile on her face when she saw Pat’s eyes light up as he sifted through the vintage baseball cards. “Angel, how’d you get them?”

“I found some at the vintage store and the others I had to look through Ebay.” Belle explained. It had taken her months to find all of the cards in the set but seeing Pat’s face made it all worth it. She’d love to see him this happy everyday for the rest of her life.

“You are the best. The. Best.” Pat held her head and kissed the top of it. “I love it. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome.” Belle allowed herself to be pulled in flush against Pat’s side. The two sat in silence for a while, admiring their gifts and each other’s presence. Both of them felt so comfortable with each other that they didn’t even need to talk. They even smiled and laughed shyly when they caught each other staring.

As Belle leaned into Pat, she finally couldn’t ignore the way her heart pounded erratically whenever Pat would touch her, or compliment her, or when he called her angel.

She couldn’t ignore how much she looked forward to seeing his face.

How she wanted to make him smile.

How she wanted to kiss him every time he got too close.

Best friends didn’t think this way and Belle knew it. But why did she keep fighting it? It’s not like he would ever know that she sometimes dreamt of growing old with him.

God, she had it bad. Would it be so bad to admit to herself that she was falling for Pat Murray? She wouldn’t hurt anyone.

_Fuck it._

Belle Ramos loves Pat Murray. The realization made her snuggle against Pat more.

Pat felt Belle shift and he held her even tighter. She just felt so right against him, like she was meant to be here. She was so perfect. And he wasn’t. But god, he loves her so much that it hurts him sometimes.

His thoughts kept going back to the way he would kiss her to show her how much she meant to him. He constantly daydreamed about holding her in his arms while she tells him all about her day. Pat even dreamt about dancing with her in the small apartment that they would’ve bought together.

What he would give to have that with Belle.

Determination came over him. He’d tell her. Soon.

“Whatcha thinking ‘bout?” Belle spoke up. Pat looked down at her tracing patterns on the top of the tin box he’d given her.

 _You_.

“Nothing.” Pat smiled. “How about you?”

 _You_.

“Nothing.” Belle smiled. They both laughed. Neither knowing what the other was truly thinking about.

They wished they could stay in this moment forever but the spell was broken when Belle heard someone calling for her. It was her dad. Had twenty minutes already passed? She sighed. “I gotta go back.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to.” Belle pouted.

“I know.” Pat squeezed her hand. He peeled himself off her and stood up. He held his hands out and helped her stand up.

Belle smiled, went up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. She could feel his warmth surround her as he held her tightly. “Merry Christmas, Patty.”

“Merry Christmas, angel.”

Belle pressed herself against him tighter, not wanting to let go but another call of her name forced her to go back to reality. She reluctantly let go of Pat and collect her things.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Pat asked.

“Definitely.” Belle nodded. “Bye.”

“Bye.” Pat whispered. Belle turned back against him and walked back to her house. Pat waited until Belle had made it to her front door before he walked back to his house. Not seeing Belle look back at him once more with a dopey smile.


	6. Chapter 6

Belle unlocked the front door and closed it behind her. She toed off her shoes and placed it on the proper rack with the rest of her shoes, her other family members’ racks beside hers. The adrenaline of seeing Pat hurt and helping him was finally wearing off. Now, Belle was starting to feel tired. A weary sigh escaped her when she stood up straight again. Belle pushed her hair away from her face. From the corner of her eye, she spotted a foreign pair of shoes. She squinted her eyes at it in confusion. **  
**

Then she heard the voice.

_Fuck. Me._

Laughter and chatter were coming from the living room. Belle thought about taking her bike half-way across town to the hospital to be with Pat instead of dealing with that. Just as she was about to put on her shoes again, did a voice ring through the hallway.

“Isabelle, _anak_ , is that you?” Belle’s mom asked. Belle let out multiple curses under her breath.

“Yeah!”

“Come here! I have a surprise for you!”

_A surprise, sure._ Belle felt like she was dragging her feet through the mud. She didn’t want to see him but she had to. So, she put on her big girl pants and walked into the living room. Then there he was, shining like a beacon of goodness and success, was her dear big brother.

Andrew Ramos.

Or as he liked to call himself, Andrew Ramos PhD.

God forbid, anyone forget that title. Even though, he still had 2 years left in Med School.

“Andrew! You’re home early!” Belle exclaimed with fake enthusiasm.

“I was exempted from all my exams, so I decided to catch the earliest flight back home to my wonderful family.” _Buttering up already, I see._ Belle smiled tightly.

“Isabelle, give your brother a hug!” Her mom ordered. The two siblings embraced awkwardly for a second and parted like touching each other had burned them. “Go help your brother with his things. He’s probably so tired. Andrew, I’ll make you something to eat.”

With that, Mariel Ramos disappeared into the kitchen. Leaving the two siblings in uncomfortable silence. Andrew brushed past her and climbed up the stairs without even picking up his luggage. _Prick_. Belle took a breath and picked up his luggage with much effort. When she finally made it to the top of the stairs, she was sweaty and out of breath.

“So, where were you?” Andrew asked as she rolled the bag into his room. He was sitting on his bed, relaxing.

“I was at the Mazzellos.” Belle said.

“What were you doing there?”

“Why do you need to know?” Belle pushed the bag against the wall and faced him.

“Why are you so defensive?” Andrew sat up straight.

“I’m not.” Belle clenched her fist. Andrew’s always so infuriating whenever he came home. “Pat got hurt and I helped out.”

“What happened to the twerp now?” Andrew smirked.

“Don’t call him a twerp.” Belle shot back instantly. Andrew held his hands up in surrender but smirked, knowing that he got under her skin.

“Have you started your readings for the break?”

“I got off from school yesterday.”

“So, you haven’t done them.” Andrew stated.

“Of course not.” Belle’s patience was wearing thin and she was getting angrier by the second.

Andrew raised a brow. “Wow.” He stood up and walked to the wall of certificates he had ostentatiously set up when he was in high school. Belle could see his chest puff up as his ego grew ten times bigger.

“What does ‘wow’ mean?” Belle crossed her arms.

“Nothing, nothing. There’s nothing wrong with not doing the readings.” Andrew shook his head. “It’s just that when I was your age, I was reading everyday. First day of break, I was already starting.” Belle sighed exasperatedly. “Just a little weird that you’re throwing your education away but that’s just me.”

Andrew had the balls to smile at her sweetly after that. Belle opened her mouth to fight back but was cut off.

“Andrew! Time to eat!” Their mom called.

“Hold that thought, sis. Mom’s calling.” Andrew brushed past her. Belle closed her eyes and took a shaky breath to calm herself down.

_It’s just two weeks, Belle. You can handle two weeks._

* * *

Belle hopped off her bike and quickly pushed the glass doors of the diner open. She sighed once she was finally out of the biting cold. The thick coat slipped off her shoulders and she removed the beanie she had on top of her hair. As she was shaking out her hair, a voice called out to her.

“Belle!”

Her head perked up and a smile graced her face when she saw her friends’ happy grins. They were seated at their usual booth. Emily, Michael, Maz. _And Pat._ Belle’s wide smile turned shyer when she locked eyes with her best friend. The last time she saw him, she had a pretty big realization that she was still trying to wrap her mind around.

Wouldn’t you want to take some time to process that you’re in love with your best friend?

But seeing him smile at her with his cheeks flushed and his eyes soft, made Belle’s worries disappear.

Pat stood up when Belle started walking towards them. The two smiled at each other before Belle slid into the space Pat was previously sitting on.

“Hey, Belle.” Maz greeted her as Pat sunk down into the plastic cushion. “How was your Christmas?” Belle spared a glance at Pat, willing herself not to blush when she remembered what happened that night. The longing looks, the lingering touches.

“It was… _eventful_.”

Pat smirked and took a sip of the glass of water he had in front of him.

“Yeah, Dad said you had like seven different families in your house Christmas day.” Maz’s eyed the two in front of him.

“Eight actually. It was crazy.”

“Ugh, I wish I had a big family.” Emily commented.

“You don’t. Trust me. It gets messy.” Belle sighed. Pat’s hand inched towards hers. His warm hand curled around hers and squeezed comfortingly. “How were your Christmases?”

“Oh, amazing. My dad got me those shoes that we were looking at in the mall. Remember them?” Emily tapped the table excitedly. Belle giggled.

“The boots right?”

“Yeah! I’d show you but they deserve a good initiation into the world and a diner is not it.”

“How about a party?” Michael offered. Emily gasped.

“Exactly. We need to go to a party.” Emily clasped her hands together. “Are there any?” As Emily and Michael engaged in a conversation about parties, Pat leaned over and whispered into Belle’s ear.

“Hi.”

The corners of Belle’s lips twitched up and leaned over to whisper. “Hi.” The two giggled like children. Pat pulled Belle’s hand on to his lap. He massaged her palm with his thumbs. His hand was bigger and calloused against her smaller, softer one. Pat’s heart felt like it was about to jump out of his chest. How did just the feel of Belle’s hand make his brain go haywire?

“What are you doing, Patty?” Belle looked at him. Slightly confused, wholly amused.

“Giving you a hand massage.” Pat shrugged.

“Why?”

“Why not?” Pat turned to her and scrunched his brows to look serious. Belle returned the look and tried her hardest not to smile. Pat tickled her palm and she laughed in surprise. Pat practically glowed when he saw her wide smile. A loud ring from Belle’s phone snapped them out of their spell. She pulled it out and saw Tiffany’s name written across the small screen on the front of the phone.

“Hold on.” Belle flipped her phone open and pressed answer. “Hello?”

“Hey!” Tiffany Evans’s voice rang through her ears. “Merry Christmas! Or should I say Happy New Year?”

“Hi, Tiff.” Belle laughed.

“Hey. So, listen, I called cause I heard that there’s a huge New Year’s Eve party at Steve Landon’s house and you have to come with!”

“A party?” As soon as those words left Belle’s mouth, Emily’s head snapped in her direction.

“Yeah, you coming?” Tiffany asked. “You can bring your friends and get all dolled up for Pat if you want to.” Belle covered the back of her phone in case Pat could hear the conversation. She glanced over at him to see if he had heard but he simply pulled a silly face that made her laugh out loud. Belle covered her mouth with her hand. “Ooh, you’re laughing. I take it that’s confirmation that you’re in?”

“Oh, I don’t know.”  
  


“What? Belle! It’s a party, let’s go!” Emily whisper shouted at her. Belle shushed her to which she got a pout in response.

“Just think about it alright. The party isn’t for a couple more days you can still change your mind. I’ll talk to you later.” They said their goodbyes before ending the call. Belle flipped her phone closed.

“Who’s having a party?” Michael asked.

“Steve Landon.”

“From the football team?” Emily basically shouted. A couple of restaurant-goers turned in their direction, curiously. “He’s like the most popular guy in school. No offense, Maz.”

“None taken.” Maz chuckled.

“He has a huge house. I’m talking mansion-kind huge.” Emily continued without missing a beat. “And you get an invitation to what could possibly be the biggest party of the year.”

“That seems like an exaggeration.” Michael commented.

“Biggest. Party. Of. The. Year.” Emily stared at her boyfriend dead in the eye. Michael shrunk back to escape her wrath. She turned back to Belle. “And you said you would think about it.”

Belle sighed. “I do have to think about it.”

“Belle-y, it’s senior year. We should be making the most of the time we have left together. You’re for sure going to get into Stanford and you’ll be half-way across the country. Who knows what’ll happen when you leave.” Emily reached for Belle’s hand.

“First of all, I don’t know if I’m gonna get into Stanford. And second, even if I did, It’s not like we’d stop being friends.”

“I know that but I just..I thought it’d be fun to go party the night away before our last semester.” Emily leaned back against the couch.

“It would, but you know my family. They’d never let me go, especially with Andrew home.” From the corner of Belle’s eye, she saw Pat’s hand curl into a fist. He and her brother never got along. Just like he was with Belle, Andrew always had a snide comment towards Pat and his aspirations and his athleticism. Only he was more forward with it than he was with his sister. Belle curled her arm around Pat’s. Pat was pulled from his thoughts of beating the fuck out of Andrew Ramos. He felt Belle’s soft touch bring him back down to Earth. She rubbed his arm comfortingly. Pat looked at how Belle was fiddling with the edge of her shirt.

_She needs me._ Pat thought.

“We’re not gonna force you to go.” Pat spoke up.

“Yeah, we’ll only go if you want to.” Maz smiled.

“No, that isn’t fair. I’ll text Tiff and tell her you guys are going instead.” Belle opened her phone again and began typing out a text.

“Are you sure?” Emily asked, suddenly guilty that she had pushed Belle too much.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal. You should go have some fun. It’s senior year right?” Pat watched her type out their names.

“You can take my name out. Dad and I have plans. Can’t back out on my old man.” Pat met Belle’s eyes when she looked up at him.

“Watching the ball drop?”

“You know it.” Belle laughed and erased his name from the text.

In reality, Pat and Brian’s New Year celebrations consisted of them sharing a beer together at around 10 pm since Brian was an early sleeper. Pat just had a gut feeling that he had to be near Belle that day.

Not to be confused with his usual desire to be by her side. Her close to his chest and him cradling her face before pulling her to him, pressing their lips together.

_Nope._ That’s another thing altogether.

But, Pat just knew that she might need him on New Year’s Eve and he wasn’t going to let her down.

* * *

“Isabelle!” Mariel called out to her daughter. Belle peered from the corner of the wall. She had just finished setting the table with all the fancy china that her mom had kept hidden away for most of the year. “Take the ham out of the oven!”

Belle looked over at her brother just sitting by the counter, reading a book. He was inches away from the oven. Nonetheless, she sighed and picked up the oven mitts. She pulled open the oven door, a wave of warm greeting her. Belle recoiled for a second before she pulled out the pan. She put it on the counter and kicked the oven closed.

“Put that on a plate and bring it to the table.” Her mom yelled at her while she stirred the pasta noodles in the big bowl. “Bring the potato salad with you too.”

_Why don’t you ask your son to help around?_ Belle thought. She bit her tongue to stop herself from screaming. Holding her head up high, she took the plate of ham in one hand and the potato salad in the other. She walked slowly and carefully to the dinner table. If even one piece of potato dropped on the ground, it would be her head on the platter.

“Ok, _tara_ , everyone. Dinner!” Mariel called out. Richard stood from the couch, the TV still blaring with the New Year’s countdown. There were three hours before the New Year rolled in and the Ramos family were about to have their traditional New Year’s dinner. After which they’d watch the rest of the countdown then when the new year finally came they’d blow loud horns to make noise that will “scare the demons away” as her parents said.

Just another year of doing the same thing again.

Belle sunk down on the chair with the rest of her family. A short prayer and a speech of gratitude later, they began to eat. Conversation flowed easily between her parents and Andrew while Belle sat quietly while she ate her dinner. Andrew, as usual, talked the most (all about himself). The urge to roll her eyes was especially strong tonight.

“Just two more hours til the New Year!” The announcer on the TV yelled into the mic. Belle looked at the screen and saw the absolutely ridiculous amount of people all squeezed together in Times Square.

“Belle,” Andrew’s voice pulled her attention away from the TV. “I never got to ask what SAT score you got.”

“Oh, I got a 1545.” Belle answered, fairly proud of her score. Andrew scoffed and took a bite of his ham. “What?” Belle’s brows furrowed.

“Nothing.” Andrew sat back in his chair. With the way he was smirking at her, Belle knew it wasn’t _nothing_. “It’s just that when I took the SATs I got a higher score, that’s all.”

_There it is._

“My score is well in the range of Stanford acceptees.” Belle countered.

“Don’t raise your voice, Isabelle.” Her mother looked at her pointedly.

“I’m just saying, you could’ve done better.” Andrew held his arms out in fake innocence.

“He’s right, you know. I expected a high score.” Mariel pointed at her.

“Mariel.” Richard cut in.

“What? I’m simply stating that I know our daughter can do better. Is that so bad?” The two adults stared each other down.

“You probably could’ve gotten higher if you stopped doing art.”

The silence that filled the room after Andrew had said that so calmly was chilling. Mariel and Richard looked at Andrew then turned their gaze to Belle. Andrew popped a piece of potato in his mouth so casually. As if he hadn’t just pulled the rug from under Belle’s feet.

“I did stop.” Belle kept her voice steady.

“Then what’s this?” Andrew pulled something from behind his back and put it on the table. Her sketchbook. Belle shot up from her seat and grabbed it before anyone else could. She clutched it tight to her chest.

“You went through my stuff?” Belle yelled.

“You lied to everyone!” Andrew spat.

“So, this is why you’ve been so distracted.” Belle turned to her mom. “You failed a test last semester. Don’t think I don’t know about that, Isabelle.”

“Jeez, mom, I didn’t fail. I got a C-plus when everyone else failed. It wasn’t our fault.” Belle breathed heavily. The stress was pilling up on her.

“Are you talking back to me?”

“I’m just explaining.” Belle spoke in a softer tone.

“It sounded a lot like you were talking back to me.”

“Mom-” Belle was cut off.

“No, Isabelle. We talked about this. You were supposed to focus on school. No more art and yet, you deliberately disobeyed me.” Mariel spoke sternly. “We came to this country to have a better life. To give both of you a better life. And it seems like you’re throwing it all away for some doodles.”

It was always like this. Her mom was always like this. Guilt-tripping was basically her superpower.

“Doodles won’t get you to Stanford.” Andrew added and Belle glared at him.

“I think this is a conversation that can be saved for a different day.” Richard finally spoke up. Belle spared a glance at her dad, the only person who she thought was on her side. He was looking at her with a tired, disappointed expression. Belle could feel the tears forming in her eyes. She pushed her chair back and ran up to her room, ignoring the calls of her mother to come back to the table.

She threw her sketchbook on her bed and ran her hands through her hair. _Deep breath in. Deep breath out, Belle._ She thought to herself.

Why did they have to ruin everything? The one thing she had for herself.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Andrew stood in the doorway. He had his arms crossed as he stared smugly at his little sister.

“Why would you do that?” Belle’s voice cracked.

“You’re not doing your best and, as your brother, I couldn’t let that happen.”

“Bullshit.” Belle’s sadness was turning into anger. “You’ve been doing this since we were kids. You always made sure to destroy any piece of happiness I could get.”

“Tough love.” Andrew shrugged. “You’ll never be the best if you’re distracted.”

“What if I don’t wanna be the best? What if I just wanna do what I love?” Belle exclaimed.

“And what would that be? Art?” Belle let out a dry laugh. “Or Murray?”

Belle’s jaw dropped. “What the _fuck_?”

“You have feelings for Murray, don’t you? Explains why he’s all over that.” Andrew pointed at her sketchbook.

“That’s private.” Belle whispered.

“He’s no good for you.”

“Don’t.” Belle narrowed her eyes at her brother.

“He doesn’t do well in school, doesn’t do well in baseball. Where the hell is his life going? You’re not going down the same road. I won’t allow it.” Andrew jabbed a finger in her face.

“You can’t tell me what to do and you can’t talk about Pat like that. You don’t know him like I do.” Belle got in Andrew’s face.

“You’re not gonna throw your life away for him. It’s not fair to you or to mom and dad.”

“What the hell does this have to do with them?” Belle groaned.

“They didn’t sacrifice so much for you to do this to them. You should be grateful.” Andrew lectured her. He vaguely remembered a younger Belle, barely two-years-old, staring up at him with big scared eyes when the room went dark after their electricity was cut off. Too many unpaid bills.

“I am grateful!”

“Then show it. Clean your act up.” Andrew gave her one last look before turning to go back to the dining room. Belle took a deep breath and slammed the door shut.

Her hands shook and her mind was running a hundred miles an hour. She needed to get out, get away from this house. Belle locked her door and grabbed her jacket. She pushed her window open and carefully stepped onto the roof. There was a trellis a couple of feet away. She used that to climb down to the ground. Belle hopped down onto the grass and took one look at her house before walking down the street.

Tears were streaming down her face. She wiped them away as quickly as they fell. Her feet knew where to take her before her mind did. The next thing she knew, she was standing in front of the Murrays’ front door.

Belle rang the bell and wished with all her heart that Brian wouldn’t answer the door. She wouldn’t know what to say. She heard footsteps getting nearer. Belle held her breath, wiping under her eyes one last time for good measure.

The door swung open and Belle sighed in relief when she saw Pat’s face, She threw herself on him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face on his shoulder.

“Belle?” Pat held the shaking girl in his arms. “Belle? Angel? What’s wrong? What happened?”

Belle shook her head and held onto her best friend tighter. Pat brushed his fingers through her hair, whispering comforting words in her ear. He walked them back into the house and away from the cold. Pat closed the door and pushed Belle far enough so that he could see her face.

Cheeks were flushed and eyes were red. She looked so sad, so hurt. He wanted to hurt whoever made her feel this way. Pat cupped her cheeks and brushed her hair away from her face.

“Belle, tell me what happened.” Pat used his thumb to brush away a stray tear that fell from her eye. “Please?”

“Andrew…he…he found my sketchbook and told our parents.” Belle managed to get out. “Then we fought and it was so bad. So bad, Pat.”

“Fucking Andrew. I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna do it. That cock, arrogant son of a bitch.” Pat mumbled. He was about to go next door to make that asshole acquainted with his bat.

But Belle whimpered and he was pulled out of his violent fantasy. He focused back on her and saw her broken expression. Her fingers were curled around the collar of his shirt. “What can I do to help? What do you wanna do?”

Belle took a shaky breath in. “I wanna forget.”

* * *

Belle was quiet the entire drive to Steve Landon’s house. She just clutched onto Pat’s hand tightly, only letting go when he had to use the gear shift. Pat was worried when Belle said that she wanted to go to the party. He didn’t think that a party was good for her right now but Belle insisted.

Pat found an empty parking spot a couple of houses down from Steve’s. They’d have to walk for a bit but it would give them time to talk. They both climbed out of the car and Belle almost immediately clung onto Pat. She entwined her fingers with his using one hand and gripped his arm with the other, keeping him as close to her as possible.

She had stopped crying but Pat could still hear her sniffling. “You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Belle croaked. Pat squeezed her hand comfortingly.

“Just say the word and I’ll beat Andrew’s ass.”

Belle laughed dryly. “I would say go for it but my mom would probably send me to military school if I even thought about hurting her precious son.”

“They can’t keep doing this to you though.” Pat looked down at her. “You should be allowed to do something you love.”

“It’s not that easy.” Belle leaned her head against Pat’s bicep. “I don’t wanna talk about this anymore, please.”

“Yeah, of course. You’ll tell me if something’s up though?”

“I will. Thank you.”

“I’m always here for you.” Pat brought up their linked hands and kissed the back of Belle’s hand. Her heart was pounding but she felt so safe with Pat, so loved. That was something she had never felt at home, where she should have felt all those things.

They walked the last few feet up to Steve’s house where some of their schoolmates were hanging out by the large porch. Pat waved to some guys that he knew. He opened the door for them and they were bombarded with loud music and rowdy cheering.

“You wanna get a drink?” Pat had to yell over the noise. Belle nodded and they weaved through the throngs of drunk teenagers to get to the kitchen. There were multiple coolers everywhere with different types of drinks. “So, do you want a soda or water or…” Belle ignored Pat and went straight for the cooler with all the beer. She grabbed a can, opened it, and started downing the cool liquid. Pat panicked at the speed she was throwing the alcohol to the back of her throat. “Woah, Belle! Slow down! What are you doing?”

Pat took the can from her hands. “Drinking.” Belle said. She could still taste the unpleasant flavor on her tongue. She so badly wanted to get some water but she came here for a purpose. Belle tried to get the can back from Pat but he moved his arm away from her reach.

“You never drink.” Pat looked at her already pinking cheeks.

“Tonight, I do.” Belle reached for the can again. _No luck_ , Pat pulled it further away.

“Are you trying to get drunk?” Pat narrowed his eyes at her.

“I did say I wanted to forget.” Belle crossed her arms. They stared each other down.

“Forget and get alcohol poisoning?”

“I won’t drink enough to get alcohol poisoning.” Belle countered. “I just wanna have fun and not thinking about my family for a while.”

Pat lowered his arm and sighed. “I’m cutting you off when I want to.” He gave her back the can.

“Thank you.” Belle took the cold can back in her hands and drank the rest of the drink. She put the empty can on the counter.

“How you feeling?” Pat asked worriedly. He held his hands out just in case. Belle thought for a second.

“Warm.”

“Alcohol will do that.” Pat smiled at Belle’s confused expression. He watched her get a new can and chugged half of it again. After swallowing, Belled noticed that her head was feeling a little light. She stumbled on her feet and felt Pat’s hand on her waist. “You good?”

Belle nodded. Her mood was already starting to get better. She giggled at her clumsiness and took another big gulp. She was starting to feel even warmer so she took off her jacket, throwing it haphazardly on the floor. Pat picked it up for her. A new song started playing and Belle squealed. “Patty, I love this song! Let’s dance!” She bounced on her toes, excitedly.

“Angel, I don’t dance.” Pat held her steady as she was already starting to sway on her feet. _Oh god, she’s a lightweight._

“Please. For me” Belle put on her best puppy dog face and drank the rest of her beer. Her smile was so wide and infectious that Pat couldn’t help but smile with her.

“Alright, but only cause I lo-” Pat cut himself off.

“What?” Belle asked after swallowing the last of her drink. The can made a clunk on the counter when she put it down.

“Nothing.” Pat shook his head. “Thought you wanted to dance?”

Belle smiled even wider. She gripped his hand and dragged him away from the kitchen. She didn’t know exactly where she was going but she continued to walk until she deemed this was a good spot for dancing. Belle started to dance around goofily, too out of it to be embarrassed. Pat stood there watching her for a second until Belle noticed.

“Why aren’t you dancing?”

“I got distracted, sorry.” Pat swayed along with her for a couple of minutes. Belle was extremely giggly and energetic. The two cans of beer were starting to take effect.

“Belle?” She heard someone call for her. Belle turned towards the voice and saw Emily with Michael.

“Em!” Belle squealed and ran over to her friend to give her a big hug. She collided with Emily so hard that they almost fell down to the ground.

“Woah!” Emily held onto her small friend. Belle was in a fit of giggles. Em got a whiff of beer from her. “Were you drinking?”  
  


“Yup!” Belle shouted in her ear. Emily cupped it in pain.

“She kinda chugged two cans of beer.” Pat told Emily.

“Chugged them?” Belle let go of Emily and hugged Michael. She babbled on about how good of a baseball player he was and that he was a good boyfriend to Emily.

“I like drunk Belle. She’s fun.” Michael said after Belle wandered off, her three friends following her close behind.

“Did something happen?” Emily asked Pat.

“Her family were being assholes again.” Pat’s jaw clenched.

Emily cursed. “Andrew?” Pat nodded. Belle had somehow found a punchbowl filled with red liquid. She clumsily poured some into a cup and drank it. Immediately, she grimaced at the taste that was way stronger than beer but it was sweet so she drank some more. Her mind was getting hazier and hazier with every drop. It was like there was fog all over everything.

“Whatcha got there?” She felt Pat’s hand on her back.

“Juice. I think” Belle put more of the drink into her cup. She took another big sip and this time she only tasted the sweetness instead. “Wanna taste?” Belle slurred and pushed the cup into Pat’s hand.

“No, thanks. I gotta take care of you little-miss-dance pants.” Belle laughed loudly again. Pat thought it was nice that she was laughing again.

“Mmkay. Can we go dancing again?” Belle pulled on his arm.

“Alright but let’s leave this cup here okay? We don’t wanna make a mess.” Pat pulled the cup from her hands but not before Belle gulped the sweet drink down. Pat looked at her scoldingly. He took the cup and put it on the counter.

“Bye, Em. See ya later! I wuv you.” Belle blew a kiss to her.

“Love you too, babes.” Emily ruffled her hair. “Pat, take care of her, please?”

“Always, Em.” Pat followed Belle into the living room where she started dancing clumsily again. Despite the circumstances, Pat noticed how much more carefree Belle looked. How much had she been holding her back because of her family? It made Pat resent them.

“You aren’t dancing again!” Belle shouted.

“I was just thinking of what amazing dance move I was gonna pull on you.” Pat took Belle’s hand and spun her into his chest. “But I realized we don’t have space to the Dirty Dancing lift here, do we?”

“Nope.” Belle popped the “P”. She put her arms around his neck and let him sway them around. “This is nice though.”

Belle looked right into his eyes. Pat noticed how close they were and his breath hitched. She pulled herself even closer to him. Her neck was straining while she looked up at him but she couldn’t will herself to look away from him. Belle’s gaze flickered down to his lips. They were so near and they looked so soft, so inviting. If Belle would just tiptoe…

“Oof!” Belle’s foot got caught on the rug and she tumbled onto the floor. She let out another giggle. “I fell.”

“Yeah, you did. Come on, let’s go find somewhere for you to sit.” Pat pulled her off the ground and found an empty chair for her to sit on. He draped her jacket over her lap. “I’ll get you some water and we’ll get you home alright? Just wait here.”

Pat turned his back to her and was about to walk away when he felt Belle’s tiny hand curl around his. “Patty, don’t leave me. I’ll miss you.”

_Fuck, I love you._ Pat thought.

“I won’t be long, I promise. Just stay here, okay?”

“Okay, Patty.” Belle leaned back on the chair and closed her eyes.

“That’s my girl.” Pat leaned down and kissed the tops of her head. He quickly made his way to the kitchen, not wanting to leave Belle alone any longer. Once he got to the kitchen, Pat made a bee-line for the water cooler and grabbed two bottles. On his way back, he bumped into someone.

“Sorry.” Pat held onto the other person’s shoulders to stop them from falling. Then he realized who the other person was. Pat took his hands off from the other’s shoulders.

“Pat Murray.” Tiffany Evans slurred her words a bit. “I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“I was just about to leave actually.” Pat tried to walk around her but Tiff blocked his path.

“Can’t you stay a few more minutes? You can be my New Year’s kiss.” Tiff’s voice lowered and she flirtatiously put her hand on his chest. She was batting her lashes up at him and Pat looked away uncomfortably.

“No thanks.” Pat gently pulled on her wrist to get her off him.

“You in a hurry or something?” She scoffed.

“I got to get back to Belle. She’s waiting for me.” Pat tried to walk away again.

“God, can’t you just ditch her? You’ll have so much more fun with me.” Tiff smiled and took a sip of her drink

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

“I could show you a good time.” Tiff moved closer to him again. Pat furrowed his brows at her.

“Whatever it is you’re trying to do, I’m not interested. Have a good night.” Pat walked away.

“Do you know how many people would kill to be with me?” Tiff shouted over the music.

“I’m not one of them!” Pat shouted back without losing his stride. He walked back to Belle who was, thankfully, still where he had left her. She had cocooned herself in her jacket. Her head was leaning on the back of the chair while she napped peacefully despite the noise around her. Pat knelt down and put his hand on her knee. Shaking it slightly, he tried to rouse her from her nap. “Belle.”

Belle groaned and blinked. She smiled when she saw Pat’s face. “Patty, you came back.”

“Of course, I did. I got you water.” Pat handed her the bottle. Belle cradled it to her chest.

“Thank you. This is the best gift ever.” She exclaimed and drank a big gulp.

“Feeling better?” Pat rubbed her knee.

“Yup.” Belle gasped suddenly. “Can we go see the fireworks?”

“I think we should go home.”

“I don’t wanna go home yet.” Belle insisted. “Please I wanna see the fireworks.”

Pat knew he wasn’t going to say no so he just pushed himself up from the floor. He held his hand out for her which Belle took eagerly.

“I know the perfect spot.”

* * *

“Pat! Look at the stars!” Belle gasped loudly. She was slouched on the car seat so she could see out the window properly. “They look so pwetty.”

“I’m sure they do.” Pat commented as she made a turn.

“Did you know that every star you see in the night sky is bigger and brighter than our moon? Or is it the sun. I can’t remember.” Belle squinted at the sparkly lights in the sky.

Pat laughed. “Is that so?”

“Yeah. Stars are so cool.” Belle stretched her arms up.

“You’re cool.” Pat smirked.

“Shut up.” Belle playfully pushed his arm.

“Hey! Don’t push the driver.” Pat gently pushed her face in return.

“I’m sorry.” Belle laughed. They drove in silence for a minute. “Are we almost there? Also, where are we going?”

“Just another minute. You getting tired?” Pat could see the park at the end of the road.

“Nope.” Belle managed to say before she yawned.

“Hmm. It seems like you’re sleepy. I should probably turn back.” Pat slowed down.

“No, Patty! I wanna see the fireworks!” Belle pouted and gripped his arm.

“Alright, alright. We’re here anyway.” Pat put the car in park. He helped Belle out of the car before she could trip and fall on her face.

“10 minutes til New Year’s!” Belle shouted. She ran to the swing set in the middle of the little playground and sat on the seat. She pushed herself off the ground and into the air. “How’d you find this place?”

“Was driving around one day and found it.” Pat stood behind Belle and waited for her to swing to him. He gave her a push on the back. “You can see a bit of the city from here. Not much but enough to see some fireworks I think.”

“Yay!” Belle allowed herself. “So, do you have any resolutions? Reflections on the past year. That kind of stuff.”

“Hmm…” Pat thought, “I think I wanna be braver.”

“Braver?  
  


“Yup.” Pat pushed her into the air again.

“But you already are brave.” Belle said.

“How so?”

“You play baseball and everyone’s looking at you and even if you make mistakes, you still go out there again and again. That’s brave.”

“I’m just playing the game.” Pat shrugged.

“No, you’re brave. You can’t tell me otherwise. You were brave when we lost Julia too.” Even while inebriated, Belle knew to take a pause after mentioning Pat’s mother. “You’ve been so strong despite everything. You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met. I admire you so much, you know that?”

When Belle swung back to him, Pat gripped her waist. She looked back at him with those big, kind eyes that he could never stop looking at. Pat leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.” He whispered in her ear.

Belle glowed from his affection. She leaned back against his chest. “You’re welcome. See, you don’t need to be braver.”

“I don’t know about that. There is something I’ve been wanting to do for years. Haven’t found the strength to do it yet, though.” Pat wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

“New year’s the perfect time to do it. New beginnings and whatnot.” Belle gripped onto Pat’s forearms.

“Yeah, I just might do it.” Pat looked down at the girl in his arms. He could feel the stupidly dopey smile he had on his face. “How about you? Anything you wanna get off your chest?”

Belle took a couple of seconds to think. “I really wanna be an artist.”

“I know that, angel.”

“Yeah but I really, _really_ wanna be one.” Belle sighed. For years, I’ve been hiding it but I wanna learn all about it and go to the best school and get better and better and eventually make something so good that everyone’s gonna wanna see it.” Belle sighed, dreamily. Her elation was short-lived when she remembered her family. 

“I feel there’s a but coming.” Pat could physically feel her emotions change. Belle had tensed up and her grip on his arm had tightened.

“But my family would hate that and I still want their approval.” Belle stared at the faint view of the Manhattan skyline in front of her. “You know, I think I hate my family.”

Pat was taken aback. “What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know how a parent could just destroy their child’s happiness or force them into fulfilling the dreams they could never achieve. I don’t know why they can’t just be happy that I’ve found something I love. I hate that I still want to make them proud. But all of them have broken me down so much that I’m not sure I’ll be ever good enough for them.”

A tear slid down her face and she sniffled. Pat could feel her shaking. He walked around the swing and kneeled in front of her.

“Listen to me.” Pat held her hands. “You _are_ good enough. Do you not see how amazing you are? You are by far the smartest, cleverest, kindest person on this fucking planet. I’ve never seen you raise your voice at anyone. Never even spoke badly about anyone behind their backs. Well, except for Andrew but he deserves it.”

Belle laughed and wiped under her eyes. “He does.”

“Fuck yeah!” Pat exclaimed. “Don’t get me started on your art. You are so fucking talented it blows my mind and I’m not just saying that. One day, you’re going to make that thing that everyone’s gonna wanna see and I’ll be first in line.” Belle’s lip quivered. He was too much, too sweet. “You’re allowed to chase your dreams. Promise me you’ll try?” Pat squeezed her hands.

Belle couldn’t trust her voice to come out properly so she nodded instead. Pat smiled brightly at her. Suddenly, a yellow light flashed across his face. A loud explosion followed and suddenly the sky was filled with color. Belle looked up and saw the waterfalls of color coming from the fireworks going off. The dark sky was being colored in a hundred different colors. People were cheering from inside their houses, all rining in the New Year.

Belle peeled her eyes from the sky and looked back at Pat. The way the lights from the fireworks danced across his face was hypnotizing. She just couldn’t stop looking at him, admiring him…

_Loving him._

“You’re missing the show.” Pat chuckled. A surge of courage flowed through her.

“It’s New Year’s, aren’t you gonna kiss me?”

Pat almost got whiplash at how fast he turned his head to Belle. She looked straight into his eyes, unflinching. Her gaze flickered between his eyes and his lips. Did she just say that?  
  
“What?” Pat croaked.

“I want you to be my New Year’s kiss.’ Belle stated. She put a hand on his shoulder. The fireworks were still going off behind them but Pat could hardly hear anything except for Belle.

“Belle, you’re drunk. You’re not thinking clearly. Let’s just watch the fireworks.” Pat ignored the way his heart was pounding.  
  
Belle put her hand on his cheek and made him look back at her. She cupped it and rubbed circles with her thumb. “Pat, I really want you to kiss me. Please?” Her voice was barely above and whisper. And yet, Pat could hear every word.

Pat’s heart was about to jump out of his chest as Belle got closer and closer. She was only a few inches away now. Eyes hooded and lips parted. This was the view he had dreamt of for so long. To have he this near, this close to him. Pat wanted nothing more than to show Belle how much he loved her, how he would make sure she was never sad again. He wanted to tell her that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

He loved her so much.

Belle was moving slowly enough that he could’ve pulled away if he wanted to. But he didn’t. He wanted this so badly. Pat leaned in, closing the inches between them. Her warm breath fanned across his nose.

Then he smelled it.

The alcohol.

Pat was brought back to reality. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t take advantage of Belle while she was like this. He opened his mouth to say something but Belle had thought he meant something else.

Belle surged forward and kissed him. Her lips were so soft and fit so perfectly against his that Pat could feel tears forming in his eyes. This was so much better than anything he’s ever imagined. He brought his hand up to her neck to pull her closer as he kissed her back. His mind was jelly. He could feel Belle smiling against him. Pat was sure that he had died and gone to heaven.

Fireworks be damned. The sparks between them were brighter.

Pat kissed her harder and Belle whimpered, clutching onto the collar of his shirt. Hearing her broke the spell. Unwillingly, Pat pulled away. Belle chased his lips, not wanting to part from him.

“Pat…” Belle cupped his cheek again, pulling him to her. Pat took her hands off his face before he got tempted to kiss her again. He took deep breaths in to calm himself down.

“It’s getting late. I should get you home.”

* * *

Pat watched Belle curl up under her blanket. She was snuggling up to her pillow and she looked so comfy. After crying the whole night, it was a relief to see her relaxed. He tried not to think of what else had happened this night but his lips were still tingling, his cheeks burning with the memory of her hands on his cheeks.

_God._

Pat pushed the thoughts back. He’d have time later to keep replaying that memory. He grabbed the trashcan and put it beside her head. Pat made sure that the water bottle on her bedside table was loose enough for her to open tomorrow. She would need it. Pat looked back at Belle and saw that she was already staring at him.

“I had a good night, Patty.” Belle whispered.

“Me too, angel.” Pat brushed her hair away from her face.

“Thank you for coming with me.” Belle nuzzled her face into his palm.

“Anything for you.”

Belle reached her hand up to his face and pulled him down to her. She kissed him again, much briefer than a while ago. Pat sighed, happily. He pecked her one last time. He hesitantly pulled back. He just wanted to kiss her forever.

“Good night, Pat.” Belle sunk back into her nest of pillows.

“Good night, Belle.” Pat smiled at her. He quietly climbed out of her room and made his way down the trellis. As he was walking back to his house, all the events of tonight had dawned on him. Giddiness overcame him. He punched a fist in the air and jumped in excitement. He didn’t know how he was gonna sleep tonight.

Extremely tired, Pat laid down on his bed and stared at the popcorn ceiling. He only had one thought on his mind.

Best.

Start of the year.

_Ever._


	7. Chapter 7

Pat looked at his reflection in the glass. The curtain-covered window provided him the perfect makeshift mirror to make sure his hair was just messy enough to look intentional. He ran his hand one last time through his ginger locks before he turned to the door and rang the bell. 

Speaking of Belle. 

It had been a whole week since he had seen her. A whole week since  _ that _ fateful night. Belle had gotten grounded after her parents found out she snuck out on New Year’s. That meant no leaving the house, no texting, no guests over. Pat was dying to see her. He missed her beautiful face so much. Not to mention they had a  _ lot _ to talk about. 

That was the reason why he was at Belle’s house so early in the morning. Sure, it was the first day back at school after winter break but fuck that. Pat had planned to drive them to the playground where they kissed so that they could talk before school. He had planned on telling her he loved her. Pat even plucked a red rose from his neighbor’s garden that he hid in his car. He smiled as he imagined how happy Belle would be when she saw it.

Roses were her favorite flowers after all. 

Pat bounced slightly on the balls of his feet in excitement when he heard footsteps nearing the door. His smile dropped the moment the door revealed who was on the other side. The dopey smile was immediately replaced with a frown.

“Why isn’t it my favorite neighbor?” Andrew Ramos smirked. “You here to get my baby sister drunk again?”

Pat’s frown deepened. “I’m here to pick her up for school.”

“You her driver now or something?” Andrew snorted and turned to the direction of the stairs. “Belle! Your driver’s here!”

“What?” Pat heard her sweet voice echo through the house. 

“Murray’s here!” Andrew rolled his eyes. 

“Give me five minutes!” Belle shouted back. Andrew put his attention back to Pat. 

“Guess, I’ll have to entertain you for five minutes.” 

“What the fuck are you still doing here, Ramos? Don’t you have some ass to kiss in California?” Pat snarked. 

“You might wanna grow out of that potty mouth of yours. How are you gonna get a job if you cuss out your employer every other second? That is if you even get hired.” Pat clenched his fists. “By the way, where’re you going to school in the fall?”

“That’s none of your business.” 

“So, no college? Sounds about right.” Andrew scoffed. 

Pat could’ve bashed his head in right then and there. “If you have to know, I’m going to STAC.” 

“STAC.” Andrew made a face to show how unimpressed he was. “Was expecting community college so, hey, STAC’s a great improvement.” 

“What is your problem with me?” Pat stepped closer to Andrew, getting in his face. “Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve always had something to say.” 

“You don’t have ambition.” Andrew, being a couple of inches taller than Pat, looked down at him. “I don’t have respect for people with no ambition.” 

“I have ambition.” 

“Yeah? What are you gonna major in?” 

That got Pat. What did he want to do after high school? What did he want to do for the rest of his life? What was he passionate about?

Pat couldn’t come up with anything. 

He blinked. The lack of an answer from Pat brought a smile to Andrew’s face. “Thought so. You’re not going anywhere with your life.  _ I _ know it.  _ You _ know it. Why kid yourself? You’re not the brightest kid in school, doesn’t take a doctor to know that.” Andrew looked at Pat in disgust. “Let’s not forget that you can’t play for shit.” 

“Shut up.” Pat said through gritted teeth. 

“You’re not going anywhere with that. You’re delusional if you think otherwise. You’re never going anywhere with your life. It’s kinda sad actually.” 

Pat was starting to see red. His breaths were getting shallower. The urge to punch Andrew Ramos straight in the nose was at its maximum level. But Belle didn’t want him to hurt Andrew. 

And whatever Belle wanted, Pat would try to do for her. 

“At least I don’t throw my own sister under the bus.” Pat said. He watched Andrew’s sly smile slip off his face. “At least I’m not purposely destroying someone else’s life for my own personal amusement. At least people actually like me.” 

Andrew’s eye twitched. “People  _ like _ you? You talking about Belle?” Pat’s jaw clenched.

“I’m not.” Pat lied. 

“Really? Cause I’ve seen the way you look at her. Not to burst your bubble, but she’d never like you like that.” Andrew crossed his arms. 

“And how would you know that? She hates you. It’s not like you ever took the time to get to know her.” 

Andrew furrowed his brows. “Just stay away from her.” 

Pat laughed dryly. “Please. You’ve been telling me to stay away from Belle since I was 10. What makes you think I’ll listen to you now?” 

Andrew’s smug smile returned and Pat felt something unpleasant settle in his stomach. 

“You’ll listen cause Belle’s going to Stanford in a couple of months.” 

“I know. What the fuck does that have to do with anything?” 

“Well, California’s pretty far away from New York don’t you think?” Andrew asked, mockingly. 

“What’s your fucking point?” Pat snarled.

“My point is she’s finally going to be around people that are on her level. Unlike you.” Pat stared him down, not allowing Andrew to get the upper hand despite his words feeling like a punch in the gut. “She’ll be around all these future doctors, lawyers, CEOs. Belle will realize she was holding back with the company she used to keep and she’ll forget all about you. Might as well make it easier on you and just leave her alone. ‘Cause when she realizes that you’ll never amount to anything in your life, she’ll leave you at a drop of a dime.” 

“Fuck you, Andrew.” Pat spat. 

“Classy, Murray.” Andrew just smiled at him. Pat lurched forward, ready to tackle him to the ground. 

“Sorry, I took so long.” Hearing Belle’s voice stopped him from engaging in a fistfight with the smug asshole. Pat sighed, relaxing just a little bit. The tension was still high between him and Andrew. Pat could feel it in the air. Belle stopped abruptly when she noticed the way the two boys were standing, tense expressions on their faces. She just knew something bad happened. Belle narrowed her eyes at Andrew. 

“What did you do?” Belle walked up to him. 

“What makes you think I did anything?” 

“Because you always start shit.” Belle walked past her brother and grabbed Pat’s hand. She started walking, pulling Pat along with her. 

“Have a good day at school!” Andrew called out to which Belle just rolled her eyes. 

“You okay?” Belle asked Pat once they reached Pat’s car that was parked in front of his house. “Was he giving you a hard time?” 

“Nothing I couldn’t handle. Don’t worry about it.” Pat squeezed her hand. “Plus, you’re here now. I couldn’t possibly stay mad for so long.” 

Belle smiled. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you, too.” Pat looked her over. Was it possible that she got more beautiful in the week they were apart? Belle’s long hair was down in curls, a thick white headband kept it away from her face. She wore a pale blue blouse with her jeans. Belle was so simple but Pat still felt breathless. “You look really pretty today.”

Pat watched Belle’s cheeks go read at his compliment. He found himself standing taller.  _ He made her blush. _ “You’re too sweet.” Belle pushed up to her tiptoes and pecked his cheek quickly.  _ Fuck _ . Pat knew he was the one blushing now. “Thank you.” 

Pat’s cheek burned with the feeling of her lips on his skin. It reminded him of the last time she had her lips on him. He cleared his throat. “Should we go? Don’t wanna be late for school.”

“Since when do you care about being late for school?” Belle chuckled. Pat let go of her hand to open the car door for her. She slid into the car and Pat leaned on the door. 

“Since the day I met you, angel.” Pat smirked and closed the door. He walked to the driver’s side and slid into the car as well. He reached back and picked up the brown paper bag in the back seat, catching a glimpse of the single red rose. Pat handed the bag to Belle. “Breakfast is served.”

“You always take such good care of me, Patty.” Belle reached in for one of the sandwiches. 

“That’s my job, sweetheart. Now, eat up! It’s the first day of school!” Pat started the car and began to drive off. “So, how’d your week in solitary go?” 

Belle snorted. “Boring. Parents yelled at me a lot though. Especially on New Year’s. Great way to start the year right?”

“I’m sorry.” Pat spared a quick glance at her.    


“You don’t have to say sorry. I was the one who forced you to help me escape anyways.” Belle took a bite of her sandwich as she remembered the events of that night.    


“And I’d do it again if you asked.” Pat squeezed her knee comfortingly. Belle offered the sandwich to him and he took a big bite of it. “Though I have to say, seeing you drunk both worried and amused me.” 

“Shit, did I do something embarrassing? I can’t remember a thing about that night.” 

Wait.

… 

… 

_ What _ ?

Pat accidentally stepped on the brake, causing the two of them to surge forward and snap back to their seats. “Woah! Why’d you stop?” Belle exclaimed. 

He put the car in park and took a deep breath in. “What was the last thing you remember from New Year’s?” Belle furrowed her brows at him. Pat watched her eyes flick down to her left while she racked her brain for memories of the party.

“I remember arriving at the party and drinking those beers.” Belle looked up at Pat for confirmation. He nodded. “And then we danced and I drank some more and then… nothing.” 

“Nothing?” Pat tried to remember to breathe. 

“The next thing I remember is waking up with a massive headache.” Belle winced. She’d never felt pain like that before. “Did something happen?” 

_ Of course.  _

Of course, she doesn’t remember. God, Pat felt so  _ stupid _ . What would she even see in him anyway? Pat felt an overwhelming anger bubble in his chest. Not towards Belle. No, he could never be angry at her. Even if she did just break his heart. 

Pat was angry at himself. Angry that he made himself believe that anything beyond friendship would ever develop between him and Belle. Pat clutched the wheel tightly and took a deep breath. Why do you have to be so fucking stupid, Murray?

Belle watched Pat’s knuckles turn white and she gently put her hand on top of his. His head snapped in her direction. She could usually read Pat’s eyes very easily but for the first time, she couldn’t. He looked pained and angry but also sad. Belle couldn’t understand what set him off. Pat’s face fell when he turned to her. 

“Pat, are you okay?” Belle asked. 

Pat had to look away from her or else he might cry. “I’m fine.” He said, colder than he intended to. “Sorry, I’m fine. It’s fine.” 

“Are you sure?” Belle still kept her hand on the back of Pat’s. It was weird that he hadn’t held her hand. Pat always did. 

“Yeah, let’s get to school.” Pat subtly shook Belle’s hand away so that he could use the gear but also her touch was making his heart hurt. 

They started to drive in silence. Too silent for Belle. She looked at him. Pat was gripping the wheel again. Her mind drifted to the dream that she’d been playing around her head since the moment she woke up with the worst headache of her life on New Year’s. Belle blushed at the memory of her dream. 

It was hazy. She could barely remember the details now but at the time… It felt so real. 

She and Pat sat in front of each other, eyes locked and faces close. Wild colors were everywhere and danced across her vision. She could remember telling him something but the words slipped her mind. Then Belle leaned forward and pressed her lips against Pat’s. She imagined sparks flying around them. God, her heart felt like it was gonna burst out of her chest. Belle bit her lip as she replayed the moment their lips touched and Pat cupped her cheek before deepening the kiss. Then the memory just faded away to black like a movie. 

And just like movies, none of it was real. A kiss that good from the person she loved the most just didn’t seem like it could be real. 

Pat would never want to kiss her. She was crazy to think that he ever would. Besides, it’s not like the universe would ever be kind enough to give her some happiness. She just had to get used to that. 

Belle offered the sandwich to her best friend again but this time Pat refused. She ate the rest of her breakfast silently, sadly. It was then that Belle realized that she’d rather have him by her side as a best friend than not have him in her life at all. 

So, Belle pushed those pesky feelings back and locked them in a box in the back of her heart. 

The pair rode the rest of the drive, in silence. Both of their hearts beating for the other in secret. 


	8. Chapter 8

Pat pulled the car into the parking lot right in front of the school. He took a deep breath before turning the key and killing the engine. As much as he wanted to ignore Belle’s burning gaze, he couldn’t. Pat knew that she was already suspicious of the quick change in his attitude. **  
**

I mean, wasn’t he just calling her pretty half an hour ago?

 _Fuck_. He felt pathetic and gross for flirting with Belle when she clearly felt nothing for him. 

“Pat?” Belle’s voice made his heart pang. 

“I gotta go. I completely forgot that coach is making us do some BP before class.” Pat reached into the backseat for his backpack. He could feel Belle’s curious eyes following him. 

“On the first day?” 

“Yeah, he wants to get a headstart on this half of the season.” Pat opened the door and stepped out of the car. Belle quickly scrambled out as well.

“You think that’s a good idea?” Belle shrugged her bag up her shoulder. 

“Well, I wanna win and I’m not about to argue with the coach.” Pat said, not even glancing in Belle’s direction. Belle wrapped an arm around herself, fiddling with the hem of her blouse. 

“Okay, be careful.” Belle tried to give him a small smile but he was too focused on something on the sidewalk. “I’ll see you at lunch?” 

“Uh…I don’t know.” Pat started. He racked his brain trying to find an excuse. He ran a hand through his hair. Pat hated lying to Belle. He was never good at it. “I think I have a meeting with Mrs. Campbell about some STAC stuff.” 

Belle practically deflated. “You’re really busy today, huh?”

“Yeah, crazy.” A tense silence fell upon them. “I should go.” 

“I’ll see you later, though?” Belle asked. The grip she had on her shirt was tightening. 

“Yeah, bye.” Pat turned away from her. Belle felt a wave of panic come over her. Sure, she and Pat had gotten into their fair share of fights before but this one was different. Belle wasn’t even sure if they were fighting at all but it sure felt like it. God, she couldn’t stand the feeling of someone being mad at her. 

“Pat!” Belle called out and Pat stopped in his tracks, deciding if he should turn around or not. He decided to turn and finally look at her. Pat saw her big, wide eyes that had panic written all over them. Her arm was wrapped around herself protectively. Was she protecting herself from him? From what he was doing. It hurt _him_ to know that he was hurting _her_. 

But the knife that was digging into his heart right now, as he looked at her beautiful face, was more painful. 

“Are we okay?” Belle questioned, timidly. 

Pat took a second. His instinct was to comfort her, take away all the pain she was feeling. _But what was he going to do when he was the cause of the pain?_ This was officially way too much, too fast. Pat’s mind was spinning and he could feel his breaths get quicker and quicker. He pulled his gaze away from Belle. “See ya later.” 

The last word was barely out of his mouth when he turned back and walked away. Leaving a confused and hurt Belle Ramos in the parking lot. 

Belle watched Pat’s back until he turned the corner and disappeared from her line of sight. She sighed and dropped her arms. _Did she say something?_ Belle replayed the events of the drive to see if she could find an explanation for Pat’s weird behavior. They were just talking about New Year’s eve and then Pat went silent. _Did something happen then?_

A car blew their horn at her, pulling Belle out of her thoughts. She was standing right on an empty parking spot. Quickly she scrambled to the side, allowing the car to take the spot. Belle pulled her bag up her shoulders again and began to walk towards the open doors of St. Catherine’s. Students brushed past her and chatted excitedly amongst each other. Weaving through the crowd with her head hung low, Belle made her way to her locker, She unlocked the metal door and pulled out one of her notebooks. The pictures on the door caught her gaze. 

She had curated a small collection of pictures. There was a picture of her and Emily smiling at a mirror while the bright flash from the camera almost devoured them. Beside it was a picture of her with Maz who was pushing Belle’s cheeks together while she smiled cheekily. 

Then her eyes dropped to the picture in the middle. It was taken last summer when she had spent the day at the beach with all of her friends. Pat had told her to hop on his back so that they could take a picture together. Just when she had her hands firmly on his shoulders, Pat pretended to drop her. Belle wrapped her arms around his neck and squealed while Pat laughed maniacally. That’s exactly when the camera went off. It was one of Belle’s favorite pictures of all time. 

Out of nowhere, a pair of lips pressed against her cheek. 

“Daydreaming already, babe?” Belle turned her head quickly and saw Emily’s wide grin. 

“I wasn’t daydreaming.” Belle defended herself and smiled at her friend. 

“Mhm. Sure you weren’t. Where’s Patrick? He’s usually hanging around you like a lovesick puppy.” Emily leaned against the lockers. At the mention of Pat, Belle’s face fell. Emily frowned at her expression. “Is everything okay?” 

“Y-yeah, Pat’s somewhere. I don’t know.” Belle waved her hand, carelessly. Emily’s brows furrowed. Belle always knew where Pat was. Her eyes glanced down at Belle’s hand that was fidgeting with the edge of her notebook. “Do… do you remember what happened at the party?”

“The New Year’s party?” Emily asked. Belle nodded in response. “Well from what I saw, you were getting pretty wasted.”

Belle dropped her face into her hands. “I know and I don’t remember anything after like the second full cup of whatever was in that punch bowl.” Her voice was muffled through her hands. 

“I just remember you shouting at the top of your lungs and clinging onto Pat but that part’s pretty normal for you.” Emily winked but Belle looked distraught. “Why do you need to know?”

“I think…” Belle started but stopped mid-sentence when she saw Michael walking towards them. 

“Good morning, girls.” Michael greeted them and briefly kissed Emily. Belle noticed that he didn’t look sweaty or tired. It had only been a couple of minutes since she and Pat had separated so she knew that practice couldn’t have finished that quickly. 

“Michael, don’t you guys have BP right now?” Belle asked. 

“BP? It’s the first day of school, c’mon. Even coach isn’t that crazy.” Michael chuckled. “Why’d you ask?” Belle blinked. 

Pat had lied to her. 

She and Pat never lied to each other. 

Belle clutched her notebook to her chest, holding on to the edges tightly so that no one would see her shaking hands. She plastered on a smile. “Oh, nothing. I must’ve misheard Pat. I thought he said something about BP but he’s probably just doing some things before class.” Belle said, not looking her friends in the eye. She closed the locker door, not wanting to look at the pictures anymore. 

“What was it about the party that you wanted to know about?” Emily looked over her friend, concerned. 

“I just… wanted to know if I did anything embarrassing that night.” Belle lied.

“You did tell me that I was the best baseball player you’ve ever known.” Michael smiled. 

“Oh, I was definitely drunk then.” Belle joked around half-heartedly. Emily took note of every fake laugh and small smile. 

Mr. Wood drawled on while half the class dozed off. Who teaches on the first day anyway? Pat tapped his foot aggressively on the linoleum floor. He rested his head on the wall behind him as he glared at the blackboard. 

He regretted even going to class in the first place. He should’ve just stayed hidden in the dugout, that way he wouldn’t get called on by every teacher who asked him if he had a good Christmas. They could all shove that fake enthusiasm up their asses. 

The second the bell rang, Pat was up and out of the door. He walked straight ahead blindly, not caring who he hit along the way. Curses were hurled in his direction but Pat ignored them all. He just seethed quietly. Everyone was on their way to the cafeteria for lunch but Pat couldn’t stand the thought of being around more people. He opted to skip lunch altogether and isolate himself from the world for an hour. 

Pat pushed the door open and cold air blew on his face. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his letterman jacket, walked to the baseball field. No one would be there for sure and that’s exactly what Pat wanted. He walked past the metal doorway and threw his bag onto the bench. Pat paced in the small area, trying to clear his head. 

But he couldn’t stop the constant loop of this morning’s events. 

Things went from 100 to 0 in two minutes. He couldn’t believe he had planned to confess to Belle today. _What a fucking joke._

Fuck, it did hurt though. 

Pat walked over to the bench and laid down. He threw an arm over his eyes. As soon as the world turned dark, he was brought back to that fateful night a week ago. The way Belle looked at him while she asked him to kiss her was something Pat had been thinking about constantly. The memory of her breath fanning over his face still made Pat’s heart race. When she finally pressed her lips against his… 

Pat should’ve pulled away. She was clearly out of it. Now, Pat felt guilty for taking advantage of her. 

“FUCK!” Pat yelled into the air. “FUCKING SHIT! IDIOT! STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!” 

Pat shouted more expletives and his throat felt raw after. He was so frustrated, so angry. 

_So heartbroken._

Pat really did love Belle. And it was his fault for getting his hopes up just to have it all crash down on him. A tear escaped his eye and Pat just let it sit there. He was a fuck up anyways. Belle could do so much better. 

The thought of Belle with a guy in fancy clothes and a six-figure paycheck made Pat’s stomach turn. 

  
“GOD FUCK!” Pat shouted again. The pain in the pit of his stomach was unbearable. He felt more tears slip from the corners of his eyes. Pat wiped them away, furiously. 

“Are you okay?” 

The voice made Pat sit up. His eyes landed on a confused Tiffany Evans standing on the other side of the fence. 

“What are you doing here?” Pat rubbed his hands over his face to hide the fact that he was wiping his tears. “Shouldn’t you be holding court in the cafeteria?” 

“I was actually gonna get lunch outside but then I heard your screaming from the parking lot so I went to check out what was up.” Tiff walked to the entrance and leaned on the metal. She looked at him curiously. “Seriously, are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” Pat kept his eyes on the ground and kicked the dirt around. 

“You don’t sound fine. Do you wanna talk about it?” Tiff offered. 

“Why would I talk to you of all people?” Pat snarked. 

“I was just trying to be nice. Thought you might need a friend.” 

“I don’t need a friend and if I did it wouldn’t be you.” Pat growled. He felt bad for being so cruel but at the same time, it felt cathartic to let his anger out. He was a fucking asshole. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” 

Tiff sighed and looked down at her shoes. “You can’t truly be that dense?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You possibly can’t not know that I like you.” Pat narrowed his eyes at her. “Why do you think I asked you to be my New Year’s kiss?”

“You remember that?” Pat sat up just a bit straighter. “You looked pretty gone from what I remember.” 

“I hold my alcohol pretty well.” Tiff glanced at Pat who looked like he was trying to process everything he’d just heard. He went silent for a while. 

“Sorry.” Pat apologized. 

Tiff smiled slightly and walked over to the bench to sit beside Pat. “It’s okay. Besides, nothing was ever gonna happen since you’re so obviously into someone else.” 

Pat couldn’t believe his life right now. In what world would he have imagined that he’d be sitting here with the most popular girl in school while she told him that she liked him. During this, he was also battling his unrequited feelings for his best friend.

He felt like he was in some messed up movie. 

Pat put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. “I’m trying to get over that.” 

This peaked Tiffany’s attention. Her head shot to the side and she furrowed her brows at Pat. He was staring straight out into the field while fiddling with fingers. Pat bounced his leg.

“Did something happen?” Tiff asked, wanting to get more information. Belle wouldn’t reject him outright. She was too into him and Tiff knew that but from the way Pat spoke, she knew something bad must have gone down between them. And Tiff was gonna find out what it was. She moved closer to him before speaking again. “Maybe I could give you some advice.” 

Pat looked at her and watched as her eyes flickered over his face before she met his gaze. Tiffany looked up at him expectantly. Something in Pat wanted to tell her everything. She’s a girl, maybe she could help him figure out what to make of Belle’s actions. He’d take any form of relief from the heavy weight on his chest. He started to open his mouth, ready to spill his guts when he realized. 

Pat didn’t know her. And he was about to tell her his deepest secret? Something not even Maz knew the full extent of yet. 

All while he had been a complete asshole to Belle the entire morning. As if it was her fault that she didn’t feel the same way about him. 

Pat hated himself so much. 

He immediately sat up, surprising Tiff. Pat shouldered on his backpack. 

“I gotta go.” He announced. “Sorry.” 

Pat jogged out of the dugout without another glance back. He was a man on a mission. First, he needed to find Belle and apologize. Then he’d figure out how to stop the pain he knew he’d feel whenever he looked at her. 

“See you tomorrow!” Belle greeted her friend before she walked out of the classroom. She opened her bag and dug around for her phone while walking. Belle grunted when she couldn’t find it anywhere. 

“Belle!” 

A voice called to her which made her stop in her tracks. Belle looked up and saw Pat walking towards her. She tensed a bit, still rattled from his actions this morning. 

“Hi.” Belle said. She and Pat looked at each other awkwardly.

“Can I, uh, walk with you?” Pat asked her. His hands fidgeted on his backpack strap. 

“Yeah, of course.” Belle agreed. She hadn’t seen him the whole day and she missed him so much. Belle was a pathetic lovesick fool. 

They started to walk together in uncomfortable silence. Belle led them to her locker and Pat still wasn’t talking. He was too busy trying to come up with an apology Belle deserved. 

“Did you have a good day?” Belle decided to break the silence. They stopped by her locker and she went to unlock it just to have something to do with her hands. She pulled out a notebook that she needed for homework that she was assigned to today.

“I’m sorry.” Pat finally spoke up and Belle looked at him. Pat was looking down at his feet before he met her eyes. “About this morning. I was an asshole, I know.” 

“It’s okay.” Belle started. 

“No, it’s not.” Pat interrupted. He took a couple of steps closer while keeping his gaze on her intently, pushing away the erratic beating in his chest. “I was going through something and I took it out on you. That’s never okay.”

Belle tried not to think about how lovely this morning was before he had turned cold. The feel of his hands on hers, the playful banter, the flirtatious comments. She wanted to push and ask him about what happened. She wanted it all out in the open so they could talk about it and move on.

Then she remembered what he did to his dad. 

His dad was only trying to help and to connect with his son during a hard time. Yet, Pat pushed him away. Belle didn’t want that. The image of Pat walking away from her stuck with her. She imagined a day when he would walk away from her and never come back. 

Belle was afraid. 

“It’s okay, Pat. Really.” Belle forced a small smile. Pat sighed. 

“Thank you, a-” The term of endearment almost slipped out but Pat managed to stop himself. It didn’t seem appropriate anymore. “C’mon. I owe you.” Pat gently took Belle’s bag from her shoulder, carefully to make sure that he wouldn’t brush against her skin. 

“Where are we going?” Belle held her notebook to her chest and closed her locker. 

“Getting some ice cream.” Pat went towards the exit with Belle following close behind, still keeping her distance. 

“Chocolate chip?” Belle asked. 

“Whatever you want. My treat.” Pat spared a glance at her but quickly turned away when he lingered too long at her lips. 

Belle’s smile faltered when he wouldn’t look at her. “Even if I want a whole big cup?” She tried to keep the playful energy going. 

“Even if you want a whole big cup.” Pat chuckled. 

_They were gonna be okay._ Belle convinced herself.

“This is way too hard! How can anyone answer this?” Tiff exclaimed. A chorus of shushes from other students in the library made her frown even more. Tiff rolled her eyes and pushed her notebook away. Belle giggled. 

“You gotta be quiet. This is the library.” She reminded her friend. “Come on, it’s not that hard.” Belle pushed her notebook back to her. Tiff had asked for Belle’s help since she was helpless at math and apparently she was a ‘genius’. 

“Easy for you to say. You’re like a human calculator.” Tiff spoke quieter this time. 

“You just gotta remember the steps and take it one at a time.” Belle glanced at her phone when it vibrated. Excited that it could be Pat texting her back, she immediately checked who texted her. Just the cell company. She sighed. 

“Can you teach me again, please?” Tiff pouted. 

“Sure.” Belle ran through the steps again, slowly. 

“How do you do it?” Tiff groaned and pushed her face against the hardwood table. “I’ll never get this done. I’m not as smart as you.” Her voice was muffled. 

“Yes, you are! Look, I’ll do like two questions and you can just follow how I did it for the rest of the set. Belle pulled the problem sheets towards her and got to work. Tiff pushed herself up from the table and smirked slightly while Belle wasn’t looking. It really didn’t take much to get Belle to do her homework. 

Tiff took her phone from her bag and started texting while Belle did all of the hard work. Belle scribbled numbers but kept glancing at her phone every other minute. So much that it caught Tiff’s attention. Tiff’s fingers stopped typing and hovered over the hard keys. 

“Waiting for someone?” 

Belle looked up from the complicated math problems. “Uh, I’m waiting for a text from Pat.” 

“Ooh, the two of you have a hot date or something?” Tiff teased. Belle looked at her awkwardly. She fiddled with the corner of the page. 

“Things are a little weird between us right now, actually.”

Tiff’s mind whirred. Since that day in the dugout, Tiff hadn’t stopped thinking about what Pat had said. He ran off before she could press him any further and he’d been taking every precaution not to run into her again so his cryptic message remained a mystery to her. 

But now, it looks like she had a chance to find out. She just had to play her cards right.

“Yeah, I’d assume so. Pat’s really been going through it lately.” Tiff sighed, the lie coming out easily. Tiff looked away from Belle but she could practically hear her brain working. 

Wait for it…

_Wait for it…_

“What?” Belle furrowed her brows in confusion. 

_Bingo._

Tiff held back a smirk. 

“Do you… know something?” Belle didn’t know what to think. She didn’t even know that Pat and Tiff knew each other like that. 

“We just talked about some personal things weeks ago.” Tiff waved her hand, dismissively. She observed Belle’s distressed expression. “Didn’t he tell you?”

Belle blinked. “He didn’t.” She looked at her phone again. No vibration. No message. What was Pat going through? What couldn’t he tell her? “Tiff, can I ask you for some advice?” 

“Of course.” Tiff leaned forward. “What’s up?”

Belle took a moment to collect her thoughts. “Something happened between Pat and I. Well, not really. Actually, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just overreacting.” 

“Belle.” Tiff stopped her rambling. “Tell me what happened.”

“Okay.” Belle retold the events, quickly. When she finished, she looked at Tiff expectantly. 

“Huh. That is weird.” Tiff tapped her nails against that table. The action annoyed some students again but Tiff ignored them all.

“Right! I just… I don’t know what to do. Could you help me?” Belle pleaded. These past weeks have been so uncomfortable between the close friends. Sure, they still hung out every day but there was something in the air that neither of them wanted to address. Sudden moments of silence after a fit of giggles, hands reaching out then stopping themselves before they got too close. 

She didn’t know how she could miss someone when they were right there beside her. 

Belle missed her best friend. Her _love_. 

“Wouldn’t you know better? No one else knows him like you do.” Tiff stated. 

“Yeah, but you know how to deal with boys. I don’t!” This time, Belle got shushed. She mouthed an apology to the closest person to her. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “Please, Tiff. I don’t wanna lose him.” 

Tiff almost felt bad for her. 

_Almost_. 

“Okay.” Tiff looked her straight in the eye. “You and Pat are best friends. You’ve been through so much together. _This_ is just a bump in the road.”

“I guess but I feel like I should do something.” 

“What you should be doing is nothing. You gotta give him some space so that he can work out whatever it is. You can’t smother him. Guys hate that.” Tiff made a disgusted face. 

“But…” 

“You don’t wanna push him away do you?” Tiff raised a brow. 

The idea of being apart from Pat, even more, was making Belle feel uneasy. But she was desperate. 

“No.” Belle said. 

“Then you know what you have to do.” Tiff rested her back against the chair, satisfied with her work.

Suddenly, Belle’s phone vibrated on the table. She managed to see Pat’s name on the tiny screen on the back of her flip phone. Belle swallowed and picked up the phone. But instead of checking on the text, she tossed it into her bag.

“You’re doing the right thing.” Tiff complimented her. Belle forced a grin and went back to work, focusing her mind away from her baseball player. 

Pat was excited. 

Given, he was always excited coming out of Mr. Albert’s algebra class but this was a different kind of excitement. For the first time in a long time, he and Belle were going to spend more than 15 minutes alone together. They’d planned out this movie night. Pat picked out the movies and Belle picked out the snacks. It was gonna be this whole thing with pizza and blankets and just being in each other’s company for the whole night. 

A part of Pat was slightly afraid that this night would push back any progress he’d made with trying to get over his stupid feelings. He even considered canceling it completely but he couldn’t find it himself to do so. 

Cause it didn’t matter that he was in love with her, Pat and Belle were best friends. No one else understood his jokes like she did or give advice like she does. Pat trusted her and Belle trusted him. Their bond was too strong. He beat himself up for weeks about falling for her and their friendship suffered for it. 

But Pat was willing to do anything to make it up to Belle. 

He loved her that much. 

Shit. _Snap out of it, Patrick._

Pat ran a hand through his hair while he walked down the hallway. He smiled and high-fived some of the friends he passed by. Pat was a couple of feet away from Belle’s locker when he stopped in his tracks. 

Right by the row of metal doors were Belle and some guy. Pat couldn’t recognize him with his back turned to him so he focused on Belle. As he always did. 

She was smiling brightly and listening intently to whatever Mystery Man was saying. Suddenly, her expression changed and she covered her mouth to contain the squeal that always came out when she got excited. Belle looked so happy as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

A nauseous feeling bubbled in Pat’s gut. He did not like what he was seeing. Pat’s fingers curled into themselves and he took deep breaths. Belle pulled back from the guy and they talked for a bit more. He said something that made her look down and tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. They finished up their conversation and the guy went away. 

Pat walked over to Belle, her face lighting up like fireworks in the night sky. Her smile made him feel a little lightheaded. 

“Hey!” She greeted him. “Your hair’s all spikey.” Belle giggled and tamed his wild hair. Pat found himself leaning into her touch which made Belle’s heart soar. 

“Hi.” Pat couldn’t help the content sigh that escaped his lips. “Who was that?” 

“Oh, Connor from AP Calc. He got into MIT! Can you believe that?” Belle exclaimed. “He’s so smart. I could never get into MIT.” 

That nauseous feeling came back and Pat tried to push it away but Andrew Ramos’ annoying voice was in his head reminding him that he would never amount to anything in his life. 

“I’m sure you would if you tried.” Pat commented. 

“Nah, I’m not as good as Connor.” Belle shook her head. She was always downplaying her intelligence. 

“You really have to stop doing that.” 

“Doing what?” 

“Talking yourself down. You’re the smartest person I know. Granted, most of the people I know are idiots so by default, you’re the smartest.” Belle laughed which made Pat feel extremely happy. “But, that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. You are going to Stanford.” 

Belle groaned. “Nothing’s for certain.” 

“Please, you’re a shoo-in.” Pat leaned against the locker. “When are results coming in again?” 

“A couple of weeks? Next month? I’m not sure.” Belle fiddled with her fingers. 

“It’ll be fine.” Pat comforted her nervous kind. He wanted to reach out and hold her hands but he stopped himself. “So, what were you and Connor talking about? You looked pretty giggly.” Pat teased despite the knife digging itself deeper into his heart. 

“It was nothing.” Belle blushed. 

“No, come on. Tell me.” 

Belle sighed. “Um, he asked me out tonight as a celebratory-slash-thank you dinner thing.” 

“Oh.” Pat deflated. 

“I said no, though. We’re hanging out tonight and I’m very excited. You ready to go?” While Belle smiled widely, Pat was having an internal battle.

Andrew was right. She was already holding herself back for him. Belle had all these opportunities lined up for her. Would she keep turning them down for him? Pat wouldn’t let that happen. No matter how much it hurt him, he would always do what was best for Belle.

Even if that meant breaking his own heart. 

She’d have a much better life with someone on her level anyways. 

Pat sighed, “You should go.” He encouraged her. 

Belle furrowed her brows. “But, we have plans.” 

“I know. I’m sorry. I completely forgot that Maz and I have this project we have to work on. We procrastinate, you know us.” Pat lied. 

Belle blinked at him. It was very unlike Maz to do that. Pat was lying. She could tell. Belle looked at him closely, trying to figure out what was wrong.

Tiff’s voice rang in through her ears. Men don’t like to be smothered. If Pat was trying to get out of hanging out with her then there must be a reason. 

_Right?_

“Okay…” Belle trailed off after a moment. She looked down at the ground so that Pat wouldn’t see her watery eyes. “We’ll reschedule?” 

“Yeah.” Pat nodded, sadly. His fingernails dug into his palm in an attempt to keep his emotions at bay. 

“I’ll go look for Connor, then.” Belle paused, wanting Pat to say something to stop her. He didn’t. Belle sighed. “Bye Pat.” She turned without taking a second glance at him. 

Pat watched her walk away and turn the corner. He mumbled a curse under his breath. Pat ran a hand down his face and up into his hair that Belle had just fixed. 

He put his back against the lockers and took deep breaths to calm himself down. Pat watched the people around him go about their days normally. While he felt like he’d just gotten punched in the gut.

Pat’s eyes kept up his people-watching until he landed on a familiar face. 

Tiffany. 

She smiled sadly at him. Shit, she saw the whole thing. Pat cursed again. Tiff started to walk towards him but talking to someone was the last thing he wanted to do. 

Pat just shook his head and took off in the opposite direction. Tiff stopped abruptly and scoffed. 

Despite her rejection, Tiff smirked, 

_Just a little bit more._

“STOP STEALING MY FRIES!” Michael yelled out while Theo Smith reached out for the pile of fries on Michael’s plate. 

Belle shook her head as she watched the boys bicker like children as she popped an apple slice into her mouth. 

Lunch at the cafeteria was rowdy as always. Like any other day, Belle sat with the baseball team and they were a rambunctious bunch. There was always some form of debate going on. Like whether or not pineapples belong on pizza. Or if toast should be cut diagonally or horizontally. 

Very important issues. 

Trailing her eyes away from the latest debate, she found herself looking across the table where Pat was sitting. He was deep in conversation with John and his hands were going around wildly as his story got more and more exciting. 

Belle wished that she could hear it. Pat had been quieter and quieter with her recently. On their daily car rides, she’d try to start a conversation with him but he’d just give her a short answer or a half-hearted response. 

It was tiring. 

“You’re staring.” Emily elbowed her. 

“No, I’m not.” Belle peeled her eyes away from Pat’s animated expressions. 

“Yeah, you are.” Belle gave Emily a look which her friend only laughed at. “What’s up with you guys?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Come on, I’m not dumb. I know something’s up if Pat isn’t glued to your side.” Emily raised a brow. “Now, spill. Did you have a fight?” 

There was no point in lying to Emily. “Things are… weird right now. And I don’t know why.” 

“What’s up?” 

Belle took a deep breath. Talking about it always put her on edge. “He’s been lying and I think he’s trying to get out of hanging out with me. And he hasn’t been talking to me. I don’t know if I did something but it just happened out of nowhere.” Belle kept her voice low so that the conversation stayed between them. 

“Have you talked to him about it?” Emily asked. She watched Belle’s restless hands. 

Belle shook her head. “He doesn’t do well with serious talk when it involves him. He’ll just shut me out.” 

“You’re not even gonna try?” While Belle looked down at her packed lunch, Em glanced at Pat who’d shifted his attention to the girl beside her. His brows were furrowed in worry. 

“I don’t wanna risk it.” Belle said, picking up another apple slice and popping it into her mouth. 

Emily opened her mouth to talk her friend out of whatever plan she had but was cut off before she could. 

“Belle!” 

Both girls turned around to see Connor Daniels smiling handsomely, walking towards their table. Belle sat up a bit straighter, not expecting to see him. 

“Hi.” Belle greeted. 

“Connor, my man!” Theo stood up and gave him a handshake. “Yo, this guy is the best! He helped me pass Algebra last semester.” 

“You managed to teach him math? You must be good.” Michael chuckled. Pat’s eyes narrowed as the guys fawned over Connor. 

“I’m okay.” Connor laughed. 

“Okay? This man’s going to MIT. He’s far from okay.” Theo exclaimed. 

“MIT! That’s great, man. Congrats!” Maz complimented. Pat held back a scoff. 

“Did you need something, bro?” Theo asked. 

“Oh, I was just going to return Belle’s sweater.” Connor looked back down at Belle and sheepishly handed her the pale pink cardigan that Pat was very familiar with. It was Belle’s favorite. “You, uh, left it in the library this morning.” 

“Thank you. I didn’t even realize that I didn’t have it with me.” Belle clutched the cardigan to her chest and smiled brightly up at him. 

There was that gross feeling again. 

“It’s no problem. I’ll see you in Calc.” Connor waved at Belle. “Bye, guys. Nice meeting y’all.” 

Connor disappeared into the cafeteria and Belle shrugged on her cardigan. When she looked up, the whole team had their eyes on her with teasing grins on their faces. “What?” She asked. 

“You and Connor?” Michael teased.

“Guys…” Belle looked at Pat but he was more interested in his food than the conversation. “We’re just friends.” 

“Sure. ‘Just friends.’” Michael made air quotations. The team laughed loudly with the exception of Emily and Maz who watched Belle and Pat squirm uncomfortably. 

“You two would make cute little nerd babies.” 

“Who are we kidding? Their kids would run the world!” Belle dropped her face into her hands in embarrassment. They were not gonna let this go. 

“Aw, look!” Theo shouted. “She’s gone all red. You like him a lot, don’t you?” 

Pat officially couldn’t take any more of this. “I’m gonna get some air.” Pat told Maz. He didn’t even wait for a reply before he stood up and left the cafeteria. 

Belle followed him until she couldn’t see him anymore. Helplessly, she looked at John who just shrugged. She sighed and sat on her hands so no one would see her fidget. 

Meanwhile, Pat was steadily stomping out of the building. He tried desperately not to think of what Belle and Connor could have been doing in the library. Hands brushing over the table, lingering eye contact, and silence that said much more than words. 

Pat could feel his breath quicken and an uncomfortable put settle in his gut. The sky was gray when he pushed the door open, perfect for his mood. All he wanted to do right now was get in his car and blast music to drown out all his thoughts but something caught the corner of his eye. Across the front entrance of the school was a big tree and underneath it sat Tiffany who was scribbling in her notebook. 

Pat took a couple of seconds to take her in. He didn’t know why he was frozen in his spot staring at her when he’d been avoiding her like the plague since their first conversation. But now, something was drawing him to her. Before he could think about it any further, Pat found himself walking towards TIffany. He didn’t even know what he was gonna say, what he was gonna do but his gut was just telling him to go to her. 

Tiffany looked up from her homework when she heard the footsteps coming towards her. She put it away as Pat Murray stopped right in front of her. 

“Hey.” Pat muttered. 

“Hi?” It came out more of a question than a response. 

“Can I… sit with you?” Pat pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“Sure.” Tiff moved her bag to make space. Pat sank down onto the grass and put his elbows on his knees, tapping his foot repeatedly. “Did you have lunch?” 

“A bit. Saw something that ruined my appetite, though.” Pat began to pick at the grass. Tiff watched his brows furrow in thought, She admired the slope of his nose and the angle of his jaw. 

“You okay?” Tiff asked, mindlessly as she trailed her eyes over Pat’s handsome features. 

“We kissed.” Pat blurted out. TIff was snapped out of her trance. 

“What?” 

“Belle and I.” Pat started. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “We kissed.” 

“Oh.” Tiff had to stop herself from groaning in disgust. All those months of listening to Belle’s lame stories were for nothing. “That’s great, Pat.” TIff said with the best fake enthusiasm she could muster. 

“No, not great.” Pat scoffed. 

“Why not? Aren’t you into her?” 

Pat wished he was just into Belle and not head over heels in love. “Because she doesn’t remember.” 

Tiff’s interest peaked again. “How could she not remember?”

“She was drunk. The New Year’s party and she had one too many and she kissed me. And I’m a fucking idiot for kissing her back.” Pat pulled on the grass so hard that a bit of soil came out. 

Everything made sense now. 

Belle was always talking about how weird Pat was acting but Tiff had never even thought that this was the reason why,

 _This_ was a game-changer.

“I’m so sorry.” Tiff said. 

Pat shook his head, not wanting her sympathy. “I’m so fucking stupid for even thinking that she felt the same way I did. When she kissed me, I thought that meant we actually had a chance but I was so wrong.” 

Tiff’s mind went back to that first day she and Belle hung out. Where she was still confused about her feelings for Pat. Then as time passed, Tiff noticed that Belle slowly stopped holding back her true feelings for the baseball player. There was no denying that Belle felt the same way Pat did. 

But Pat didn’t need to know that. 

“I’ve been trying my fucking hardest to get over it and move on but I can’t. And I’ve had to start cutting her off and lying and I feel like a jackass.” Pat gripped more pieces of grass. He didn’t know why all of this was coming out now and there was no stopping the damn that had just opened. “Now, I think I pushed her straight into Connor Daniels’ arms. And they’re going to be the perfect couple and have amazing careers ahead of them and they’ll get married and live happily ever after. And it’ll be all because of me.” 

Tiff kept silent. From the way Pat was speaking, she could tell that he’d had this on his chest for so long and that he needed to let it all out. 

Pat took a breather to gather his emotions. “You know what the worst part is? I think I hate her just a little bit for not fighting back.”

He was shocked that he said that out loud but somehow it made him feel so much lighter. 

“Why would you say that?” 

“We’ve known each other since we were kids. She’s my best friend. This whole thing has definitely hurt our friendship and she won’t even say anything about it? Did… did I ever mean anything to her?” Pat turned to Tiff and met her gaze for the first time. She was taken aback by the intensity of emotion in his eyes. He was desperate for answers. 

Tiff paused. This was a crucial moment and one word could throw her entire plan down the drain. She was not about to waste 8 months of sucking up to Miss Goody-Goody. 

“You know, I’m tired of seeing her treat you like this.” She started. Pat scrunched his brows in confusion. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I’m sorry. I know I’m kinda overstepping here. But she’s supposed to be your best friend and she’s making you feel this sad? It’s bullshit!” Tiff exclaimed. “Sure, you were cutting her off but this is a two-way street. She never fought for what you had. She never tried to fix things. That’s just… so shitty. If my best friend didn’t even try to salvage our friendship, I would be so pissed.” 

Pat blinked at her. When did she start to care so much about what he felt?

“It’s just… I don’t know, Pat. I just remember how sad you looked in the dugout. That was because of her, wasn’t it?” Pat just looked at her and said nothing which was enough confirmation for Tiff. Pat went back to pulling on the grass. 

“Connor was at our table a while ago and he was flirting like crazy.”

“Is that why you’re out here with me?” 

“The guys were teasing her about him and I couldn’t handle it.” He sighed. “She’s better off with him anyway.”

“Stop that.” Tiff moved closer to Pat. “You deserve someone who’s gonna appreciate you for who you are, who’ll appreciate you. Someone who’ll fight for you.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. 

Pat looked her over. Her features were more pronounced and sharp instead of the soft, angelic face he was used to. She was different but maybe different was what he needed now. 

“So, what should I do?” Pat asked her. 

Tiff held back a smirk. “If I were you, I’d give her one last shot to prove herself and if she still doesn’t do anything, I’d say that’s it. There’s no use in wasting your time on that.” 

Pat mulled it over. He knew Belle. She wasn’t one to fight for what she wanted. Hell, she wouldn’t even take the chance to go against her family’s wishes to follow her own passions. She was way too scared. If she wouldn’t fight for her dreams then why the hell would she fight for him?

“She’s the most important person in my life.” Pat’s voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. Tiffany almost felt bad for him. 

“But are you hers?” 

A simple question that made Pat’s world crumble. _Was I as important to her as she was to me?_ Pat asked himself. If someone asked him this a year ago, he would immediately shoot that idea down but now… Pat was seriously second-guessing himself. 

PAt’s mental acrobatics were cut short when the door swung open. His eyes went wide when he saw Belle round the corner. His heart skipped a beat, his breath short. 

“Speaking of.” Tiff couldn’t believe her luck right now. “Here’s your chance. Make her prove herself.” 

Belle had never seen a sight so jarring. Tiffany and Pat… sitting underneath a tree, whispering to each other. Something wasn’t right. 

“Hi, Tiff.” Belle said when she stopped in front of them. She smiled slightly at her friend.

“Hi.” Tiff smiled back, not too much to hide the excitement she was feeling for what was about to unfold.

Belle turned towards Pat. “Hey. The guys told me to come get you. They’re debating about who’s the best Backstreet Boy and it’s a tie between Nick and Brian. They need you to be the tiebreaker.” 

Pat stared at her, the longest he’s done in weeks. Taking her in as if it was the last time he’d be able to. “I think I’ll stay out here for a bit. To clear my head.” 

There he goes again. Acting weird. 

“Oh, are you sure? The sky looks pretty angry today. It might start pouring. You should come insi-” 

“I’m fine, Belle.” Pat cut her off. He’d never done that. Pat always let her speak up. Only her family ever cut her off like that. Belle’s mouth shut quickly. 

“Okay. I’ll see you after school, then.” Belle tried to ignore the pain in her chest as she tried her hardest to hold Pat’s intense gaze. She never had trouble meeting Pat’s eyes.

“Could you take the bus home later? I’ve got a thing.” Pat said, emotionlessly. He glanced at Tiff quickly. Belle didn’t know what to do. Why was Pat like this? She looked at Tiff who was giving her a sympathetic look. Then she mouthed the words: you know what to do. 

Belle’s eyes were stinging but she did what Tiff taught her. 

“Yeah, I’ll take the bus. It’s fine.” Belle managed to choke out. With those 7 words came the final cracks in Pat and Belle’s relationship. 

Pat’s breath started to quicken again. He needed to end this conversation. “Thanks.” Pat tried to keep his cool and dug his nails into his palm.

“Sure. Bye.” Belle rushed out and turned before the tears started streaming down her face. 

Pat watched her retreat into the building, the loud rumble of thunder in the distance echoed the slam of the door. He opened his hand and saw little red crescents on his palm. 

“I’m sorry.” Tiff spoke up. “If you wanna talk about it, I’m here.” 

“I’m done talking. I’m done.” Pat thought out loud, the words taking multiple meanings. 

“Okay.” Tiff put her hand on his forearm gently and squeezed. “You did the right thing.

 _Did he?_ He felt like his heart had been ripped out and torn to shreds. How could that have been the right thing?

Tiff rubbed her thumb against the leather of his jacket. It distracted him. Pat hadn’t felt a gentle touch in weeks and… it felt good. Pat looked at her. It would take some getting used to seeing striking blue instead of warm brown when he met her eyes. 

But he’d have to manage. 

Pat stood abruptly, making Tiff recoil in surprise. “I don’t feel like going to class after lunch. Wanna go somewhere?” He asked and held out his hand for her to take. 

Tiff smiled sweetly. “It’s a good thing I didn’t finish my homework.” She held his hand and pulled herself up. 

_Mission accomplished._

The rain was coming down hard. You could barely see anything past the wall of rain. Belle sat on the steps of the school, tears streaming down her face. 

The bus had long gone. She misread the time when the bus left and she missed it by half an hour. To make matters worse, the rain started going down like crazy and Belle didn’t have an umbrella. She’d forgotten it at home. Belle didn’t think she’d need it anyway. But her bad luck didn’t stop there. When she opened her phone to call her parents for a ride home, she found out her phone had died. She really should have charged it last night and now she was stuck.

In school.

In the middle of a storm.

With a broken heart. 

Belle sniffed and pulled her cardigan closer to her body. The weather was cold but not as cold as Pat was to her. She’d never forget how Pat looked at her, how he spoke to her. A sob wracked her body. 

He’d never talked to her like that. Ever. 

She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head against her forearms. It hurt. Everything hurt. Belle just wanted Pat to hold her and make her feel better but Pat didn’t want anything to do with her right now. He made that very clear. 

Belle wiped her nose on the sleeve of her cardigan. The rain was still coming down hard and the sky was getting darker as the day slowly turned into night. She prepared to spend a couple more hours waiting for the rain to stop. 

John Mazzello stepped out of the library after a long study session. It started pouring so Coach decided to cancel practice for the day. John took this opportunity to catch up on some schoolwork. It had gotten pretty late and yet the rain was still pouring. John reached for the umbrella he usually stored in the side of his backpack. 

He pushed the doors open and was almost deafened by the sound of the rain hitting the pavement. John opened his umbrella and braced himself for the storm when he saw a figure curled up in the corner. John squinted.

Wait. 

“Belle?” 

His friend looked up at the sound of her voice. “John?” Her voice cracked. John rushed over to her in worry. 

“Are you okay? What happened?” John noticed the way she was sniffling and even in the dark light, he could see a hint of how swollen her eyes had gotten. Belle was shivering like a leaf and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold or something else. Nonetheless, John took his jacket off and put it over her shoulders.

“I didn’t have an umbrella and I missed the bus going home and my phone died so I couldn’t call anyone.” Belle whimpered. 

“The bus? Why were you going to take the bus? Where’s Pat?” At the mention of his name, Belle crumpled into tears again. John put an arm around her to console her. Where the fuck was Pat?

“Sorry.” Belle choked out. 

“It’s okay. Let’s get you home, yeah?” John kept his voice soft. Belle nodded and let herself be led to the car. Once John made sure she was strapped in and safe, he began the drive home. 

Belle kept her eyes on the road, numb from all the crying. John checked on her every once in a while to make sure she was okay. Why did Pat just leave her alone? It was so unlike him and John was furious. 

He’d ask him about it tomorrow but for now, he needed to get Belle home. 


	9. Chapter 9

Pat dunked the sponge into the soapy bucket. It was a sunny Sunday morning and his dad had given him the task of cleaning both of their trucks. He pulled the soaked sponge out of the bucket and plopped it on the windshield. The glass had gathered quite a bit of dust and residual marks of rain. It’d been storming quite a lot recently. Perfect moping weather. Pat was even a bit upset that the sun had decided to show itself today.

_How else was he going to drown out the sorrows of a first heartbreak?_

Pat wiped down the windshield furiously, trying to get it crystal clear again. Once he deemed that the windshield was clean enough, he moved on to the hood. As he made circular motions on the metal, a memory filled his mind.

It was a couple of months ago. Belle was running towards him after school, eyes filled to the brim with tears. Pat remembered the anger and worry that overcame him. He immediately cupped her cheeks.

“Hey! Woah, angel, are you okay?” Pat asked.

Belle looked up at him with those big, sad eyes. The tears threatened to spill over at any moment as she shook her head. Belle held onto his hands and closed her eyes. Pat knew she was going to crack at any moment.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” Pat gently led her to his car and drove off to find them a more secluded spot. Belle clutched his hand tightly while he drove. Pat tried to comfort her with his thumb rubbing circles on the back of her hand. He eventually found a place.

It was at the end of their street, at the cul de sac. He knew that the two houses on either side of the road would be empty. The one on the right was owned by a young couple. Both hardworking and borderline workaholics so they wouldn’t be home til late. The house on the left had long been abandoned. Everyone thought it was haunted for so long but that never stopped him and Maz from breaking in one summer while Belle hid behind a tree, keeping watch.

That was a fun day.

Belle’s grip on his hand tightened and she looked at him, desperately. Pat brought her hand to his lips and pecked the back of it, sweetly.

“Let’s get you some air.” The two of them got out of the car and went to stand in front of it. Belle tried to push herself up on the hood but struggled so Pat held her waist and hoisted her onto the hood of the car. She had her hands on his shoulders and was playing with the leather of his jacket. “Angel… talk to me?”

Belle sniffled. “I got a C-plus on the exam.” Pat hissed. A C-plus to him was basically an A but to Belle? That was worse than an F. “I got a C-plus and when my parents find out they’re gonna get so mad and I’m never gonna leave the house again. O-or they’ll send me to some stuffy private school and I’ll never see you again!”

“Hey.” Pat brushed the hair and tears away from her face. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“They’re gonna send me away or worse they’ll disown me and I’ll have nowhere to go.” Belle was spiralling.

“Listen to me, angel. Can you take a big breath for me?” Belle took a shaky breath in and looked Pat straight in the eye. He whispered a quiet ‘atta girl’ and rubbed her cheeks comfortingly. Pat saw her soften just a bit. “It’s gonna be fine. It’s one test. They aren’t going to send you away. You hear me?” Pat waited for her to nod weakly. “They’ll get mad at you, yell at you but they’ll get over it. You’re still one of the top kids in our class and a shoo-in for an Ivy League school.”

“But?” Belle whimpered.

“No buts.” Pat stopped her. “This is nothing. It’s not like it’s an F.”

“It is to them. To me.” Belle’s tears started falling again.

“A letter isn’t going to define you. You are so much more than that.” Pat’s heart raced. “So, whatever your family says, fuck ‘em.”

“I’m not strong like you, Patty.” Belle’s voice shook.

“You can be. I believe in you. And if you can’t, it’s fine. I’ll still be here to hold you until you feel better. I’ll always be here.” Pat said, sternly. Belle bit her lip and nodded. “It’ll be okay. I’m here.”

Pat pulled her close. Belle threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck. She’d stopped crying but she was still shaking. Pat stood strong, ready to be her rock. He whispered assuring words and a couple of jokes into her ear. She laughed lightly.

It was his favorite sound in the world.

A loud horn knocked him out if his daydream. Pat looked around his truck and saw Maz with his elbow resting on the open window of his car.

“Need help?” He yelled out to him.

“Took you long enough.” Pat pulled the other bucket of suds towards his dad’s truck. He looked back at his friend who’d now gotten out of his car and picked up the hose on the ground.

“Sorry, mom made me drive her to the studio.” Maz sprayed down the other truck with water.

“She okay?” Pat asked, continuing his wipedown of the hood.

“Yeah, the storm knocked a couple of branches off the trees so she and dad are cleaning up.”

“The storm was pretty bad.” Pat moved on to the doors. Maz watched him carefully. He wasn’t really sure how to approach the main thing he wanted to talk to Pat about.

“Speaking of the storm. Last Friday, I was staying late at school to finish this essay and when I was leaving, guess who I saw.” Pat had his back to Maz, too busy scrubbing a stubborn splatter of mud that even he wasn’t sure where it came from.

“Who?” Pat was distracted,

“Belle.”

Well, Pat wasn’t distracted anymore. He visibly tensed and stopped scrubbing abruptly. Maz saw Pat’s hand squeeze the sponge. “She was still at school that late?” Pat knew the bus left only 30 minutes after last period. Belle should’ve never been there that late.

_Unless she was with someone else…_

“Mhmm, I found her hiding from the rain and crying. She wouldn’t tell me why, though. I didn’t want to upset her even more so I didn’t push too much and just brought her home.”

Pat felt the guilt settle in his gut. He pictured Belle crying, wondering what she’d done. The image was tearing his heart into two. Pat went back to scrubbing his car.

“Did you guys get into a fight? Cause I asked her where you were and she just cried harder.” Maz moved closer to Pat. He sighed loudly in frustration. Pat threw the sponge back into the bucket.

“It’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.” Maz furrowed his brows.

“Don’t worry about it.” Pat basically growled.

“I think I will worry about it cause I saw our friend all alone, practically shivering while she cried.” Maz snapped. Pat was being stubborn and he couldn’t take it any longer. “Where were you anyways?”

“I have a life too, you know. It doesn’t just revolve around her.” Even Pat didn’t believe that lie. “I had somewhere to be, okay?”

“Was it so important that you basically abandoned her in the rain?”

“I told her to take the bus. It’s not my fault that she missed it.” Pat angrily picked up the hose and sprayed his truck down. The water pressure was too high so it sprayed all over him. “FUCK!” He screamed and threw the hose down. Pat knew his dad would get an angry phone call from a nosy neighbor later.

Pat wiped his face with the hem of his shirt. “What’s up with you?” Maz asked. This was not Pat. At least not the one he knew. The Pat he knew jumped at every opportunity to help Belle or even just to be by her side. He would’ve fought anyone who even looked at her badly.

“I told you. It’s nothing.” Pat was getting annoyed now. At Maz. At this whole situation. At himself.

Maz scoffed. He took a moment to collect himself. “Look, I don’t know what went down between the two of you-”

“Whatever happened between me and Belle is what’s best for her.” Pat cut him off. What does that mean? Maz thought. “She’s better off without me anyway.”

SIlence came over them. The anger Pat was feeling before evaporated and was slowly being replaced with the Belle-shaped emptiness that had formed in his heart.

“Pat…”

“Trust me, it’s for the best.” Pat picked up the hose again and turned on the water, making sure the pressure wasn’t as strong as the last time. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“Just… take care of her? For me?” Pat looked at Maz properly for the first time during their whole conversation. His eyes were sad, pleasing. “I can’t be near her anymore but I just… I just want her to be okay.” Pat’s voice cracked at the end.

“Of course.” Maz agreed. Pat sighed with relief in his eyes.

“Thank you.” The need to change topics was so intense so Pat pulled the bucket close again. “Now, stop standing there and get to work.”

* * *

_RING!_

_RING!_

_RING!_

Belle groaned and threw a pillow over her face. She’d barely gotten any sleep lately. With senior year slowly coming to a close, the workload had been getting heavier and heavier. On top of all of that, college application results were coming on. To no one’s surprise, Belle had been accepted into all of the schools she’d applied to. But the one that mattered the most hadn’t arrived yet.

 _Stanford_.

Her parents were on edge which made her more stressed too. Every day it was just another tense dinner after the other. She wished the letter just come in so she could get out of this nightmare.

_Then there was the whole thing with Pat…_

Belle was exhausted.

She cracked her eyes open and glared at the alarm clock. Her palm came down on it to turn off the wretched thing. Pushing herself up off the nest of pillows, Belle heard her joints crack in ten different places. All around her were sheets of paper, notebooks, and textbooks. She rubbed her face roughly and slapped her cheeks so she could feel more awake. With a last huff, she began to clean up the mess she’d and stuffed them all neatly in her bag. Whatever didn’t fit, she placed in her little binder. Every class specially marked with their own color. They helped Belle to not go insane.

Once she was happy with her things, she decided it was time to get ready. Belle grabbed the clock off her nightstand and brought it with her to the bathroom. The gears made clicking noises as she spun it. A timer helped her keep her showers short so she would never have to be late.

Exactly 15 minutes later, the alarm went off again just as Belle finished wrapping her hair in a towel. The sounds of her parents also getting ready echoed throughout the house as she trekked back to her room.

The outfit she prepared the night before hung over her chair. A plain white shirt and pale blue skirt that matched perfectly with her cardigan. Belle put on her clothes and sat on the floor, right in front of her bed. A floral makeup bag was perched on top of the chair. She reached up and placed it on her lap.

Belle had about 25 minutes left before she had to leave. She was in the middle of putting on concealer when she paused. Her phone had been unchecked the entire morning. It was dumb to get her hopes up but she knew she had to check. Crawling over her bed, she reached for her phone and flipped it open.

_Zero new texts._

Belle huffed. Of course not. The paper ring keychain she hung on her phone bumped against her palm, taunting her. She put the phone inside her bag and went back to doing her makeup.

20 minutes left.

It took all of her focus to keep her mind from drifting to the handsome boy who lived a couple of houses away. But that didn’t work out. Suddenly, she was diving headfirst into the memory of the last time she was sitting in this exact spot.

It was a couple of months ago. She could still hear the disappointed groans of the crowd when the opposing team stepped on home base, clinching the win. Belle felt herself deflate. She lowered her sign when she saw Pat angrily stomp towards the dugout. Maz stopped him before he could so they could do handshakes with the other team. Pat looked like he was trying his hardest no to do anything rash, especially when he passed the smug pitcher who struck him out thrice this game. Pat slapped his hand a little harder than the rest of them. The pitcher shook his hand as he walked away.

“I’m gonna go to him.” Belle told Emily.

“Good luck.” Emily smiled sadly.

“Thanks.” Belle picked up her things and ran down the stairs to the fence. She waited for Pat to see her. When he didn’t, she called out his name. Pat looked up from the ground and his demeanor instantly softened. He sulked over to her. Once Pat was right in front her, he rested his elbows on the low fence. “Hi.” Belle greeted.

“Hey.” Pat’s voice was muffled. Belle put her hand on his forearm and rubbed it with her thumb, comfortingly. Pat took a shaky breath and closed his eyes. He blindly reached for her hand. Belle noticed that his brows furrowed deeper with every second.

“Let’s go home?” She offered. Pat simply nodded. “Okay, do you wanna shower here? Or…”

“I just wanna go home, please.” Pat pleaded.

“Okay, Patty. Go get your things.” He nodded and dragged his feet into the dugout. Belle rolled her poster and sat on the bleachers while Pat packed up. She made a quick call to her dad, filling him in on what happened at the game and asked if he could sleepover tonight. Her dad didn’t even hesitate and immediately offered to blow up the mattress for him. Belle saw Pat turn the corner with his bags. “He’s here. We’ll be home in a few.” Belle told her dad.

“Drive safe.”

“I will. Bye, dad.” Belle hung up her phone and met Pat halfway. She gave him a small smile. Pat tried to reciprocate but his smile crumbled. Belle reached for his hand and entwined their fingers. He held onto her tight but he kept quiet. Belle gently pulled him to her and looped their arms together. “I’ll drive.”

Pat nodded and handed her the keys from his bag. Together they walked, arm in arm, to Pat’s truck. About 20 minutes later, Belle saw their street. She slowed down in front of Pat’s house. “Do you wanna tell your dad?” He shook his head. Belle stepped on the gas again. “I’ll give him a call later.”

She parked the car in front of her house. The streetlights streamed through the windows. When she turned to Pat, she saw a tear slide down his cheek. It was hard to keep her own tears at bay. Belle reached out for him and wiped the tear with her thumb. She heard Pat breathe shakily. Gently, she tilted his face so that she could look at him. He met her gaze. With a reassuring smile, Belle nodded towards the house. Pat nodded too and they both got out of the car.

Belle waited for Pat by the driveway and held her hand out for him. He instantly held it, almost like they were magnetized. She led him into her house. Pat knew the drill. He took off his muddy cleats and placed them beside hers. Her parents were talking in the kitchen. Pat pointed in their direction. “Should I…”

“No, you can go upstairs and shower. I’ll talk to them.” Belle gently nudged him up the stairs. She spoke with her parents briefly while she heated up slices of leftover pizza. She put the slices on a plate while she called Brian Murray. Pinning the phone in between her ear and shoulder, she carefully carried the plate up to her room. “I’ll make sure he eats dinner. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Snapping her phone shut, she placed the plate on her bed and grabbed one of the many sweaters & shorts Pat had left with her. Belle laid it out on the mattress her dad had prepared.

The sound of the shower turning off had Belle busying herself. She pretended to fix something on her dresser as Pat’s footsteps got louder. “I put your clothes on the bed. Thought you wouldn’t want to get back into your dirty clothes.”

“Thanks.” Pat’s voice was raspy in the way that it would when he’d just cried. Belle’s heart sank. She heard the rustle of clothes as Pat changed. “You can turn around now.”

Belle turned to take in Pat’s damp hair and red eyes. She sighed and approached him slowly, carefully. She sat down on the bed with her legs outstretched. Belle looked up at him and patted her thigh. Almost immediately, Pat crawled to her and placed his head on her lap. Her fingers buried themselves in his hair. She saw him close his eyes and purr.

“I don’t think you saw it but the batter you got out in the third inning, tripped when he was throwing a little tantrum on the way to their dugout.” Belle remembered.

“Did he really?” Pat croaked.

“Yeah, it was really funny, The entire section laughed.”

“He deserves it. Asshole.” Pat had a slight amused tone which made Belle relax just a little bit. She continued her work on his head.

“You did well today.”

“Don’t.” Pat told her. “I know you’re trying to make me feel better but I know I was shit at the game. They should just kick me off. I’m fucking useless anyways.”

Belle’s fingers were out of his hair faster than lightning. She pulled her legs out from under him and Pat complained. “Patrick Murray.” Pat’s eyes widened when he heard his full name. He sat up. “I don’t ever wanna hear you talk about yourself like that again.” Belle put her hands on his cheeks and looked him straight in the eye. “You are so talented. It hurts that you can’t see that. One bad game doesn’t make you a bad player. Not by a long shot. You don’t even know how proud I am every time I watch you. You’re amazing, Patty.”

He scanned her eyes, as if looking for any sign of lies. His eyes were glassy but they shed no tears. “You’re the best person in my life.” Pat’s voice shook.

“And you’re mine.” Belle whispered. Their faces were close together and Pat was looking at her with so much intensity that her tummy turned into knots. She thought that something more would happen. She wanted something more to happen. But it’s like reality dropped down on them at the same time. The tension broke and Belle gave Pat’s cheeks one last pinch before she dropped her hands awkwardly to her lap.

“Thank you, angel.” Pat spoke. Belle smiled when she saw him smiling as well.

“You’re welcome.” The awkwardness in the air disappeared and Belle felt herself relax. “I brought you some pizza, by the way.” She reached fo the plate and placed it in front of him.

“Ooh, pizza.” Pat said, excitedly. He grabbed a slice and took a big bite. He plopped himself down on her lap again.

“Hey, don’t eat while you’re lying down. You’ll choke!” Belle squeaked in worry.

“If I do, then you’ll save me right, doc?” Pat smirked and took another bite of the pizza.

“Patrick!” Belle tried to lift his head off her but he was purposefully making his head heavier for her. Eventually, she gave up and let him eat his pizza however way he wanted. She was just happy to see him smiling again.

“MARIA ISABELLE!” The sound of her mom calling for her scared her out of the daydream.

“Yeah?” She yelled out the door.

“Car’s here!”

_Could it be? Did he?_

Belle finished her makeup quickly and tugged on her shoes. She grabbed her stuff and sprinted down the stairs. A quick kiss to both her parents’ cheeks later and she was out the door with excitement. Her hopeful smile dropped when she saw John. Why did she even expect to see Pat waiting for her? She composed herself and put on a smile. She was always happy to see John anyways.

“Good morning!” He smiled at her.

“Morning!” Belle approached him. She subtly looked at Pat’s yard and noticed that his trick wasn’t in the driveway.

“Pat asked me to drive you today. Said his dad needed some help at the shop before school.” John explained, trying to gauge her reaction but Belle kept her face neutral. She wasn’t going to let him see how much she didn’t believe his lie.

“Oh, okay.” She said simply.

“Cool. Shall we?” John opened the door for her. Belle thanked him and slid into the passenger seat. Once he closed the door, she allowed herself to take a shaky breath. Blinking quickly, she forced the tears to go back in. The second John settled into the driver’s seat, it was like nothing had ever happened. “Have you had breakfast?”

 _Shit_.

Belle had gotten so used to Pat’s little brown paper bags for her that she hadn’t even thought of getting herself some food before leaving. She didn’t want to look pathetic in front of John.

“Yeah, I did.” Belle forced a smile. It was enough to convince John that she was okay, though.

“Awesome, off we go!” John drove off and Belle tried to keep the conversation going to distract herself from the rumbling in her stomach.

* * *

Brian Murray placed two meat patties on the grill. They sizzled in response. He let it sit for a minute before he pressed down on it and flipped it. Brian knew that Pat would be home any minute now. It was his turn to cook them dinner and there was nothing better than a burger for dinner.

He had just put the buns on the grill when he heard Pat’s truck pull into the driveway. Brian smiled. He heard Pat talking to someone followed by light laughter.

“Hey, kiddo!” Brian called out. “Grilling up some burgers for us. Looks like I should get another patty out here. You hungry, Belle?”

“Uh, dad?” Pat sounded uncomfortable. Brian turned down the heat and faced the pair. His friendly smile dropped just a smidge. Instead of the little brunette, he was used to seeing, a tall blonde stood in her place.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.” Brian looked at his son for answers. “Who’s your friend, Pat?”

“This is Tiffany Evans.” Pat gestured towards her.

“It’s nice to meet you, Tiffany. I’m Brian, Pat’s dad.” Brian wiped his slightly greasy hand on his apron and held his hand out for her to shake. Tiffany looked down and noticed the faint charcoal stains on them. She shook his hand, gingerly.

“Pleasure.” Tiffany smiled stiffly. Brian took back his hand, wondering if he’d missed a spot when he wiped.

“Evans.... Would you happen to be related to Jeff Evans?” Brian asked while he took the patties off the grill and onto a plate. The smoke from the grill blew in the direction of the teenagers and Tiffany waved her hand in front of her face in annoyance.

“He’s my dad.” She told him.

“Ah, that makes sense. I see the resemblance.” Brian chuckled. “I worked on your dad’s car a few months back. Beautiful car. ”

“Yeah.” Tiffany laughed awkwardly and looked at Pat. Her eyes widened and she mouthed ‘let’s go’. Pat scratched his head.

“Dad, we’ll go to my room for a bit.”

“Sure, go ahead. I’m gonna cook us up some fries. I’ll give you a shout when it’s ready. Tiffany, do you want a burger?” Brian offered.

“I’m vegan. No, thanks.” Tiffany said, sharply.

“Very healthy. Unfortunately, we’re not like that in this house. Am I right, Pat?” Pat smiled. The smell of the burgers was very tempting.

“You should try it. It’s a really good feeling knowing that you aren’t just diminishing animals to a commodity. Like they’re actually living beings.” Tiffany explained. Pat and Brian looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Pat shook his head as if he was begging him not to ask.

“That’s a really insightful thought.” Brian said after a beat. “Well, I’ll let you kids go. Patrick, keep the door open.”

Pat rolled his eyes but agreed. He walked into their house with Tiffany hot on his heels. He led her up to his room and pushed open the door. Pat let her go in first before he closed the door with just enough space so he could hear dad call for them. “So, this is me.” He plopped down on his desk chair.

“You didn’t tell me your dad was a mechanic.” Tiffany walked around his room slowly. She looked so out of place amongst all of his things. Pat eyed the baseball on his desk and plucked it off so he could fiddle with it to keep his hands busy.

“You didn’t ask.” Pat threw the ball in the air and caught it just as easily.

Tiffany's eyes scanned his room. She took in the piles of clothes on the floor beside the suspicious stains on the carpet. They were a light shade of green and reminded her of Mountain Dew. Along across his headboard were different Gatorade bottles, some more empty than the others. Tiffany swore she even saw mold in one of them. _Boys are so gross._ She thought. “The room’s a bit cluttered, don’t you think?” She commented.

When she turned her head to the side, she found his various baseball paraphernalia. Posters, cards, gloves, balls displayed on the wall and the dresser. Among them were a couple of framed pictures. There was one of Pat with his dad and, possibly, his mom.

One with John Mazzello.

“I’ve been preoccupied.”

And one with Belle Ramos.

Tiffany tilted her head at the picture. They did look pretty perfect together. That’s a shame. She made sure Pat had his back to her before she put the picture down. “Preoccupied with?” Tiffany smirked when he looked at her. His gaze followed her as she threw her purse on his bed and laid down on it. Pat saw her shirt ride up just a bit. He quickly tore his eyes away from her.

“Nothing you should worry about.” Pat mumbled. He continued to play with the ball. Tiffany stared at him incredulously.

“Patty…” She drawled, knowing the nickname would get his attention. Pat stopped. The ball fell in his hand and he closed his fist around it tightly. “Won’t you come lay down with me?” She laid on her side and propped her head up with her hand.

Pat swallowed thickly. “I think I’ll stay here.” He sat up straighter in his chair.

“But I’m lonely.” Tiffany pouted. “And your dad could call us any minute. We should make the most of our alone time.”

Pat hummed and turned his seat away from her. Something was gnawing on his chest. It happened every time he was around Tiffany and he’d been around her for weeks now. He felt it whenever she looked at him flirtatiously or when she’d put her hand on top of his. It was like a whisper in the back of his head telling him this was wrong.

A part of him knew it was guilt but he didn’t want to believe it. He knew he felt guilty for what he was doing to Belle and for what? It’s not like they dated but it sure felt like he was cheating on her when he spent time with Tiffany. It made him sick.

Tiffany scoffed. “I can’t believe it.”

“What?” Pat looked at her. Her pretty features were fairly annoyed.

“You’re thinking about her again.”

He was quiet for a second. “So, what if I am?”

“Well, considering that I’m the one you’re spending time with right now, don’t you think it’s a little rude?” She sat up. “You’re always thinking about her but have you ever considered if she’s doing the same?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Pat bit the inside of his cheek.

“Really? Then why did it take talking to me for you to realize that you were getting nowhere with her? It’s been weeks since you last saw her and she’s still the one thing on your mind.” Tiffany took a breath and stared at the back of Pat’s head. He was still as a board. “I heard that she’s been spending a lot of time with you best friend,” Pat smiled at that. Little did she know that he told Maz to look after Belle. “And that guy who’s going to MIT. Uh… what’s-his-face.”

Pat’s smile dropped. “Connor.” He expected it but, damn, it still stung.

“Him!” Tiffany snapped her fingers. She stood up and walked in front of him. If she were thinking of you, then she should be here with you right now and not with them. She would’ve reached out and talked to you because she cares about you, right?” Pat kept silent. He kept his eyes on the ball in his hands. Pat was almost sure that he tried to teach Belle how to pitch with this ball when they were ten. “If she loved you, don’t you think the two of you would’ve gotten together years ago?”

Pat tensed.

The pang in his heart was back. It was aching, longing, yearning for a girl he could never have. Fat tears filled his eyes and his vision went blurry.

“It’s too late. You’ve missed your chance with her. She’s moved on. She’s forgotten all about you. But,” Tiffany put her fingers under Pat’s chin so he’d look up at her. “I’m here.”

Pat blinked and the tears fell down his cheek. She was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that. With her striking blue eyes and golden hair tumbling down her shoulders. Tiffany's beautiful and she’s here.

So, why was he still thinking about Belle?

She couldn’t be the only girl to make him feel special or strong or loved. She couldn’t possibly be the only girl who could make him smile so much that his cheeks would hurt. Belle couldn’t be the only girl he’d ever love.

He could try again. He would try again. Pat’s resolve was fading away. The guilt evaporating ever so slowly off his chest as he focused on Tiffany's voice.

“She’s gone but I’m here.” Her tone went deeper. Tiffany slowly sat down on his lap, one leg on either side of him. Pat’s hands were still wrapped around the baseball. “I’m right here and I want you, Pat.”

Pat took a breath and slowly let go og the ball, allowing it to fall onto the floor and roll under his desk. His hands found Tiffany's waist. Pat noticed that she was colder than he was used to. She wasn’t as soft and her scent was so intensely floral that it tickled his nose. Tiffany smiled down at him. She moved her hands to his neck and leaned in slowly. He could feel her breath fanning his lips. The last time he had a girl this close to him was…

_No._

_No more._

Thinking of that night only brought him pain. He couldn’t keep doing that to himself. It ends now.

Tiff whispered his name and he just squeezed her waist in response. She pressed her lips against his hotly. Pat expected fireworks. The world should’ve faded away and he should’ve gotten lost in her immediately. Instead, he felt strangely aware of all the sounds around him.

A car driving past.

Kids laughing loudly.

The crackling of oil as his dad cooked.

Tiffany mashed their lips together and Pat noticed her hands were too frantic, her lips too harsh against his. The kiss was sloppy, unimpressive even.

 _Fuck_.

What if he’d never feel the same way he did with Belle again? How could a kiss, that she was too out of to remember, ruin him for any other girl?

He was comparing them again.

Get it together, Pat.

Pat slid his hands up her back and cupped the back of her neck and kissed her back with as much enthusiasm he could muster. He pushed against her lips as if he was pushing away all his feelings for Belle Ramos.

* * *

“It was crazy! Tyler went on the roof and cannonballed into the pool!” Emily explained. Belle laughed.

“Was he okay?”

“Well, he was too wasted to feel anything. You should be asking about Sam. When Tyler dropped in, he was standing way too close to the edge of the pool and the water wiped him out.”

“Sounds like a crazy party.” Belle commented. She watched Emily quickly scribble something on her problem sheet. She had the paper on her locker door, trying to finish it before first period. Belle noticed that she missed a step of the problem. “You missed that part.” She corrected her friend.

“Thanks.” Emily scratched out her mistake. “And yeah, it was. You should’ve been there.” Emily looked at Belle. At first glance, she looked picture-perfect as always. Hair straight down her back and pushed away from her face with a thin headband. Unlike most high schoolers, her clothes were pressed and crisp. But Emily knew better. She saw how she caked on the concealer under her eyes to cover the dark bags. She could see the slight red tinge in her tired eyes.

“I’ve been busy.” Belle sighed.

“I can tell. Have you been getting any sleep?” Emily stuffed her homework into her bag and turned her attention to Belle.

“Yeah.” Belle’s voice went high. Emily raised her brow at her. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

“I think I should be worrying.”

“I’m just stressed about this project that Connor and I have been working on.”

“I’m sorry, babe.” Emily reached out and rubbed her arm. Belle gave her a tight smile. “So, you and Connor have been spending a lot of time together, huh?” She smirked, taking on a teasing tone.

“Em…”

“What?” She faked innocence. Belle shook her head. “I’m just saying. He’s cute and smart. You can’t really go wrong.”

The idea of being with someone made something in Belle’s stomach turn. And not in a good way. Was it the idea of dating someone that made her sick? Or was it cause it wouldn’t be Pat? Belle pushed the thought away.

“I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” Belle brushed the tip of her shoe on the tiled floor.

“Yeah, you’re too busy getting ready to save lives, Doctor Ramos.” Em poked her stomach. Belle finished instinctively. People had been calling her that for years now but it only started bothering her recently when the teasing was slowly becoming a reality. Emily noticed the stressed look that took over Belle’s pretty face. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just…” Belle started. “I don’t know. It’s confusing.”

“What is? I’m all ears.”

Belle took a second. “The whole doctor thing… Med school… I don’t know if that’s what I really want. I mean, my parents have been grilling Andrew and I for this our whole lives. And it comes so naturally to him but to me…”

“Why would you say that?” Emily furrowed her brows.

“Andrew’s perfect. Or at least, he’s good at pretending to be. It’s hard for me.” Belle was about to run her fingers through her hair but she remembered how hard it was to tame her frizzy hair this morning. Her hand fell down slowly.

“You don’t have to be.”

“You don’t know my parents well enough, then.” Belle laughed, dryly. Emily felt bad for her friend. She wished she could take some of the pressure off of her shoulders. She was already looking shorter.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a trio of girls grouping together. She looked at the group and saw they were whispering amongst themselves while they pointed at something at the end of the hallway. Belle was too distracted with her rant to notice that Emily's attention had shifted to something behind her.

“I don’t want the life they want for me.” Belle finally said.

“Wait, babe. Sorry, what the fuck?” Emily was looking at something in disgust and disbelief.

“Em, did you even hear anything I just said?” Belle said, exasperatedly. She started to turn around. “What are you looking -”

Belle froze. Her eyes landed on the thing that had captured the entire hallway’s attention and she couldn’t move.

Pat Murray.

Her Pat Murray, handsome as ever, made his way through the throngs of teenagers. Belle hadn’t seen him in a while and she should have felt happy, giddy even. Instead, she felt dread when she saw the delicate hand, clinging on to his arm. She couldn’t even begin to describe how she felt when she realized who it was.

Tiffany Evans.

Swallowing the bile in the back of her throat, she found the courage to look at Pat again. He was whispering something in Tiffany's ear that made her laugh. He was smiling even when he looked away from her. The smile she’d missed so much fell when he found her in the crowd. They held each other’s gaze for a second and the entire student body faded away. Belle felt the tears prick her eyes.

Tiffany's hand came into view. She cupped his cheek and pecked it. The smile returned to Pat’s lips. Now, it might’ve been her imagination but Belle thought that Tiffany had smirked in her direction the second she got Pat’s attention back. The new couple walked past her and disappeared behind the other students.

Belle took deep, silent breaths. “Since when did they start hanging out?” She heard Emily say but it was like she was underwater. Belle felt lightheaded and numb. “Hey, you okay?”

“I’m okay.” Belle’s voice was shaky. “I-I just remembered that I have to borrow a book from the library. I’ve got 15 minutes before homeroom and it’s on the other side of the building. I can get there in 3 minutes if I go now and walk fast. That’ll give me enough time to get the book and come back.”

Emily was speechless at her ramble. “You sure? I can go with you.” Em offered.

“No, I can do it by myself. I’ll see you at lunch.” Belle walked away before she could question her. A traituous tear slipped from her eye and she wiped it away, furiously.

_No crying, Belle._

She accidentally bumped into someone and she apologized. Connor Davis watched Belle scurry away but didn’t miss the sad look on her face.

“Belle?” He called out to her. She didn’t turn.

* * *

_GROWL_

Belle clutched her stomach and hoped that no one around her heard that. There was only one last problem to answer on this test. She could fight through the hunger. Belle took a deep breath and continued on with her exam. A pounding headache was starting to rear its ugly head. Thank God she didn’t have to stay in this stuffy classroom for much longer.

She pressed a couple of numbers into her calculator and found the exact answer on the choices. Quickly scanning her work, Belle made sure that she answered every question on the test. Her stomach growled again. The guy sitting next to her glanced in her direction. Maybe that one was louder than the other.

_Fuck it._

Belle grabbed her things and stood up to turn in her work. She could feel annoyed eyes burning into her back while she handed the paper to her teacher.

“Done already, Belle?” Miss Squillace smiled. Despite her headache and grumbling stomach, she managed a smile. Miss Squillace had always been nicer to her. Belle supposed it was because she was the only one who really tried in her class.

“Yeah.”

“Great. I’ll check it now.” Miss Squillace picked up a red pen from her cup and started to grade her test. Belle averted her eyes and focused on the blackboard. ‘ _10 MINUTES LEFT_ ’ was scribbled across the board in squiggly handwriting. If she didn’t look at her work being graded, then she wouldn’t have to think about all the items she messed up.

Just keep looking at the board, Belle.

“All done.”

Belle looked down. “How’d I do?” She kept her voice low so she didn’t distract her other classmates.

“A+. Perfect as always. Wouldn’t expect any less from my star student.”

“Thanks, Miss Squillace.”

“You’re welcome. You can go.” Her teacher cocked her head towards the door. Belle nodded. “And honey, don’t forget to eat something.” She gave her a knowing look.

“I will. Have a good day.” Belle turned and left the classroom.

As soon as she stepped out of the classroom, the lack of sustenance hit her. She’d pulled yet another all nighter last night to prepare for the exam and start on a couple of other work. Belle didn’t even remember falling asleep. All she could remember was her alarm blaring in her ears. She’d almost jumped out of her skin when she realized that she’d slept through it. There wasn’t any time for her to grab something to eat since John was waiting outside.

She felt her stomach growl again. “Okay, okay. We’ll get something to eat.” Belle said to herself and started walking to the cafeteria. She was already feeling so light-headed and distracted by the lack of food that she was surprised she did well in the exam. She just couldn’t wait to sit down and get something in her tummy.

There were only a few people coming into the cafeteria since she’d managed to beat the lunch crowd. For once the line at the counter was short and Belle was going to take advantage of that. She grabbed a tray and gave the lunch lady a wide smile.

Belle grimaced slightly at the less than appealing lunch choices in front of her. She gave her order and paid for it with a warm thank you. Carefully balancing the food, she managed to find her way to the baseball team’s table. The lunch crowd was getting bigger and she saw a few familiar faces take their seat. Belle saw John hang his bag on the back of his seat. He looked up and saw her, giving her the calming smile only John Mazzello could give.

John called her over. As Belle was about to take her usual seat, a certain couple passed behind John.

Pat and Tiffany came in, arm in arm as how Belle would usually see them together. Tiffany was laughing obnoxiously while Pat smiled stiffly. The other boys looked at each other, confused, when they sat down together. Emily and Michael arrived at the table and were just as shocked as everyone else. Emily looked around the cafeteria and spotted Belle, frozen in the middle of the room while she stared at the couple.

“Hey, I’m gonna eat with Belle.” Emily whispered to Michael.

“Can’t she sit with us here? I bet we can make space for her.” He asked.

“Nah, it’ll be cramped.” Emily threw a disdainful look towards the new couple. She gave her boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you after class.”

Emily walked over to Belle who was still staring, helplessly. She only managed to peel her eyes away when Emily stood right in front of her, covering her view. “Hi, Em.” Belle greeted.

“Hey, babe. You ready to have lunch?”

Belle looked behind her friend and saw Michael sitting with the rest of the team. “Aren’t you gonna sit with Michael?” She asked.

“Not today. Come on.” Emily turned Belle around gently. She led her away from the table and began to look for an empty table to sit at. They didn’t notice Pat watching them intently while his girlfriend prattled on about her dad’s lakehouse. He blinked and tuned back into the conversation, giving half-hearted responses that Tiff didn’t notice.

“How was your test?” Emily asked Belle.

“It was okay. I got an A+.” Belle shrugged.

“Just okay?” Emily’s eyes went wide. Belle giggled.

“You know what I mean!”

“Yes, I know you’re a little genius.” Emily squeezed her shoulders. Belle smiled at her while she continued to look for a table.

“Em, why didn’t you sit with the team just now?” They slowed to a stop. Em bit the inside of her cheek.

“Well...I thought you didn’t wanna see… them.”

Belle didn’t know what to say. Maybe she wasn’t as good at hiding her emotions as she thought. She opened her mouth to say something but came up with nothing. “Thank you.” She said simply.

“You’re welcome. Now, let’s find somewhere to sit.”

Both of them looked around the filled tables until they heard someone call Belle’s name. “Belle! Hey, over here!”

Belle looked in the direction of the voice and found Connor waving with a big smile on his face. A strange feeling settled in her stomach, unexpected but pleasant. Connor stood and waved her over.

“Maybe we could sit there?” Belle turned to Emily.

“I will actually hit you if you don’t sit there. Now, go get that man.” Emily put her hands on Belle’s back and pushed her forward.

Belle continued walking towards Connor’s table. She noticed a few familiar faces, most of them from her AP classes. Connor was telling them to move around to make space for her and Emily.

“Hey, Belle.” Connor greeted them with such a sweet smile that made Belle forget all the sadness she was just feeling. The rest of the table chimed in with their own greetings.

“Hey, guys.” Belle said, timidly. She placed her tray on the table and slid into the seat. Connor sat down as well. “Hi, Connor.”

“Hi.” He smiled brightly. Connor looked around her and gave an equally bright smile to Emily. “Hi, Emily. How are you?”

“Good.” Emily put a hand on Belle’s shoulder. “I’ll get some food. You’ll be okay here?”

“Yeah.” Belle nodded and Emily left to get her lunch. When she was alone with her classmates, she felt a sense of unbelonging. It wasn’t that they were mean. No, they were far from that. Belle just felt out of place. Unworthy, even. She knew these people were all going places.

Cindy Phan from Physics class was going to Columbia. Miguel Perez just got his Cornell acceptance letter. Zara Ali was moving to Connecticut to attend Yale in the fall.

Then there was her. 

Belle had never felt so unaccomplished in her life.

“Thanks for letting us sit here.” Belle addressed the table.

“Oh, of course! Don’t even worry about it. We’d love to have you sit here.” Cindy said in a friendly tone.

“You guys are so nice.” Belle chuckled. She turned to Miguel. “Congrats on getting into Cornell.”

“Thank you. It was totally a surprise.” Miguel threw his hands up, dramatically. Cindy scoffed.

“Oh, please. He’s being modest. He was gonna get in no matter what.” Zara told Belle. She laughed and put a fry in her mouth. Biting back a groan, Belle thought that was the best fry she’d ever had.

“I can still be surprised.” Miguel defended himself while the girls waved him off. “How about you, Belle? Any news?”

Belle took a deep breath and swallowed the rest of her fry. “I’ve heard back from my back-ups but no word yet from… the big one.”

“I’m sure mail just got backed up.” Zara shrugged.

“Yeah…” Belle put her hands on the bench to ground herself.

“You’re gonna get in. I’m sure of it.” Connor spoke up. Belle looked at him and she noticed how his eyes widened just a bit when she met them. He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, cheeks just the slightest bit pink. “You’re amazing, Belle.”

Every one smirked knowingly and went back to their lunches while Belle and Connor kept each other’s gaze. She observed his droopy, brown eyes and equally dark hair. He gave her a lopsided smile. “Thanks, Connor.”

“You’re welcome.” Connor took a moment as if he was building the courage for something. He moved closed to her, his fingertips brushing against Belle’s. Now, they were both blushing. “Are you...okay?”

Belle blinked. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just that I saw you the other day and you were crying so I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Connor’s fingers twitched.

“Oh.” Belle started. She awkwardly pushed her hair out of her face. “You saw that?” Connor nodded. “I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

“It’s no biggie. Just being a good friend.” Connor said. He leaned his head close to Belle’s. “If you ever wanna talk about anything. I’m all ears.”

Belle moved her head a bit so she could look at him. She took in everything about Connor Davis. A smile crossed her lips and she nodded.

Pat’s eyes narrowed as he watched Connor lean close to Belle. His heart wrenched when he saw her smile fondly at him. Pat’s finger curled into a fist. He took deep breaths while he continued to look, enviously, at Connor and Belle stealing glances at each other.

Tiffany’s loud cackle broke his focus. She slinked her arm around his and put a wet kiss on his cheek. Pat fought hard not to grimace. Instead, he laughed along with her, pretending like his heart wasn’t halfway across the cafeteria.

* * *

_Welcome to Saint Thomas Aquinas College! We’re excited for you to join us this fall…_

Pat stared at the many pieces of paper that were in the freshman packet that STAC had sent him. He’d gotten his acceptance letter weeks ago and it made him spiral so much that he asked his dad to hide it where he couldn’t find it. Pat still didn’t know where it was now.

The happy faces of the ‘students’ sitting on a field or in a classroom were taunting him instead of inviting him in. They all looked so refined and polished. They seemed like they knew exactly what they were going to do with their lives. Pat’s fingers fidgeted. He was on the edge of his seat. Literally.

 _Just touch it, Murray. It’s not gonna burn you._ He thought to himself.

He snatched the thick brochure that held all of the majors STAC was currently offering. Lots of Art majors… Science… Business. None of them caught Pat’s attention for even a second.

_What was he gonna do?_

Before he could fall deeper into a mental breakdown, the doorbell rang. Pat dropped the paper and went to answer the door. He was about to yell at whoever was on the other side but stopped abruptly.

“Hey, babe.” Tiffany smirked at him. With a kiss on his cheek, she ducked under his arm and breezed past him into his house. Pat stared at her, incredulously, while she made herself at home. Tiffany plopped down on the couch. “Quite a mess you got here.”

“What are you doing here?” Pat closed the front door.

“I texted you. Didn’t you see?” Tiffany waved her phone at him.

“My phone was off.”

“Then that’s on you.” Tiffany said in her sing-song voice. She sat up straight and looked at all the papers Pat left on the coffee table. “What’s all this?”

Pat sighed and sat down beside her. “STAC sent over some stuff.” He ran a hand over his face. “I’ve been stressing about it the whole afternoon.” Pat leaned his head on the back of the couch.

“What for?” Tiffany tore her eyes away from the paper and focused on the boy beside her. He was breathing heavily with his eyes closed and mouth slightly open. She bit down on her lip while she looked at his sharp jaw. Tiffany swallowed when she saw his Adam’s apple bobble.

“It’s…” Pat struggled to find the words to say. He opened his eyes, looking straight at the popcorn ceiling. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Yeah, neither do I.” Tiffany was distracted. Her hand started trailing over his shoulders and down his bicep.

“I feel like everyone knows exactly what they wanna do. Everyone else is gonna move on to better things and I’ll probably be stuck here for the rest of my life.” Pat’s brows furrowed when he felt Tiffany’s fingers squeeze his arm.

“Not everyone’s made for greatness. You’re probably just one of them.” Tiffany said, bluntly. Pat’s head shot to the side. She smiled and crawled onto his lap.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Pat ignored her travelling hands that were exploring his chest and neck.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Tiffany leaned in and kissed him hotly. Her lips slid over his, uncomfortably. Pat couldn’t shake the nagging thoughts of his head. He pushed her away.

“No, tell me. What do you mean I’m not one of them?”

Tiffany groaned and sat back on his knees. She rolled her eyes and threw her hands in the air. “It’s exactly what you think it means. Keep up, Murray.”

Pat couldn’t believe he was hearing this. he was actually trying to have an honest conversation with his girlfriend but all he was getting was half-hearted replies and insults. “So, you’re saying that I’m a loser, basically?”

“Thought you knew that.” Tiffany scoffed.

Pat’s jaw dropped. “I can’t believe you.” He lifted her off his legs and put her back on the couch.

“What?” Tiff exclaimed.

“You couldn’t even be supportive for a second?” Pat felt his anger start to bubble up.

“Please, you don’t want support from me.”

“What makes you think that? You’re my girlfriend!” Pat stood up and faced her. Tiffany had her arms crossed and an amused look on her face.

“I’m more your rebound more than anything.” Tiffany pushed herself up. She walked towards Pat and stared him down. “We both know you’re only with me to get over your best friend.”

Pat kept quiet. They hadn’t talked about that since the first time they kissed. Tiffany continued when Pat broke eye contact. “So, I don’t think it’s fair that you’re getting mad at me for not giving you what you want when I know you’re still in love with Belle.”

The tension in the air was thick. Pat refused to look at her. “Maybe you should go.” Pat finally spoke.

“Really?” Tiffany raised her brows at him. “Fine, go mope alone for all I care.” Without another word nor look, Tiffany was out of his house.

Then there was just him again. Him and all the doubts in his head. His eyes landed on the papers again. Out of frustration, Pat pushed all of the papers to the ground.

“FUCK!”

Pat wished he could talk to someone. Someone who would actually listen. His dad was busy at the shop and Maz was meeting with one of the big shot college recruiters. He was desperate. Tears were starting to blur his vision.

Impulsively, he reached into his backpack and found his phone. He flipped it open and turned it on. He tapped his foot impatiently. When it finally turned on, he began composing a text.

_I miss you. Can I come over?_

He almost pressed send but stopped when he got to the last screen,

_Send to Belle Ramos?_   
_YES NO_

Pat’s thumb hovered over the button. He couldn’t. He couldn’t do this to her. Not when she already looked happier without him. He wasn’t going to ruin her life.

The message was deleted faster than he typed it. Instead, he texted Tiffany.

_You’re right. I’m sorry._

* * *

Belle’s eyes flickered back and forth between her physics textbook and her notebook. She had a big quiz coming up this week and she was finishing up the last few terms she needed to read over. Staying in on a sunny Saturday was kinda tragic but alas, this was her life ever since she could remember.

A deep sigh escaped her when her writing hand started cramping. Belle shook her hand and went straight back to writing. Her notebook was clean, barely any stray marks apart from her small handwriting along the ruled lines. It was color-coded, each important term was written in a different color. The order cleared the mess in Belle’s mind, a mess of her own making.

She was just starting the next line with the new term when she heard her mom scream loudly. Belle’s hand slipped and dragged a big, angry black line across the page. Her entire body froze and she silently cursed. How was she going to fix this?  
Another scream came from downstairs and Belle sprung to her feet. She quickly ran down the stairs.

“Ma? You okay?” Belle called out.

“Isabelle! Come here now!” Mariel Ramos screamed. “‘Chard, you too!”

Belled walked down the last few steps just in time with her dad coming out of the kitchen. They walked together to find her mom by the front door. She was clutching an envelope tightly in her hands.

“What’s with all the screaming?” Richard asked his wife.

“It came.” She stared wide-eyed at her family. “Isabelle, it came.”

Belle furrowed her brows in confusion. Then she got a better look at the envelope. The big, red letters of the Stanford logo were staring back at her. A sharp gasp escaped her.

“Oh, god.” Belle muttered.

“That’s a big envelope, sweetheart.” Her dad’s arm came around her shoulders. He gently nudged her forward. That was a good thing since Belle had fone frozen in her shoes.

“Big envelopes are usually a good sign, right?” Belle’s voice wavered. She was wringing her hands together to hide the fact that they were shaking.

“Usually.” Her dad gave her a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. A moment of silence fell over all three of them. Her mom handed her the envelope.

The stark white envelope felt heavy in her hands. Not because of the physical weight. _No_. It was the weight of her future that felt heavy on her hands. It terrified Belle that all her efforts; the perfect grades and the multiple extracurricular activities were either going to be destroyed or praised by whatever was going to be inside this envelope.

Her hands started shaking again. This didn’t escape her mom’s eye. Mariel placed her hand over her daughter’s. They locked eyes and Belle got an encouraging smile from her mom. A bit of the worry in her heartfaded away. Deep breath in and she was feeling less shaky now.

“Okay.” Belle said. “ I’m gonna open it.”

“We’re right here, anak.” Her mom went behind her and held her arm supportively. Belle looked at both of her parents in shock. They had never been so interested in anything she’d ever done.

It was nice.

“Go on, Isabelle.” Her dad’s voice was strong and commanding.

Belle nodded. She turned the envelope and began ripping it open. She pulled the letter out, unfolding it. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Belle began to read the words out loud.

“ _Dear Maria Isabelle, on behalf of the Office of Undergraduate Admissions, it is my pleasure to offer you admission to Stanford’s Class of 2014_.” Belle screamed in excitement. She started jumping in her spot. Her parents started shouting in elation.

“I’m so proud of you!” A big kiss was placed on her cheek by her mom. Belle laughed and smiled.

“Thank you, mom.” Belle gave her a hug.

“We always knew you could do it, sweetheart.” Her dad ruffled her hair.

“Thanks, dad.” Belle moved over to her dad.

She had never felt so happy in her life. All of her hard work was finally paying off. Her parents were proud of her. Finally. And her future was basically secured.

“We should celebrate! My baby’s going to Stanford.” Her mom kissed her head once more. Belle closed her eyes and it almost felt like she was a kid again. “We should throw a party. Invite everyone!”

“We can have it at that restaurant. What’s the name again, Mariel?” Her dad called out to her mom who had already disappeared into the house, busy planning the party. Richard turned to Belle. “Congratulations, anak. We’re so proud of you.”

Belle felt the tears start to prick her eyes. She had never seen such joy on her parents’ faces. At least, never about things that she’s done. Now, it was all because of her. Her parents were happy because of her.

“Thank you.” Belle managed to choke out. The big smile on her dad’s face gave her a warm feeling all over.

“Go invite all your friends. Especially Patrick. We haven’t seen him around in a while, ha.”

Belle froze again. That name still had so much effect on her. She’d been trying so hard not to think about Pat to save herself the heartache. It’s been proving more difficult every day.

She missed her best friend. And she wished he could be here celebrating with her.

But he wasn’t.

She could imagine the big, goofy smile on Pat’s face when she told him the good news. He’d pull her into his arms, pick her up even. They’d laugh together and share a moment just looking deep into each other’s eyes.

God, she missed him so much.

Belle pulled out her phone and texted a number she knew by heart. She clicked send before she could chicken out.

She stared at the text chain with Pat. The newest text reading:

_Can we talk?_

* * *

_DING._

_DONG._

Belle pulled her hand back from the doorbell. She stood awkwardly in front of the Murrays’ front door. It’d been a while since she had last been here and she didn’t know what to do with herself. Her weight shifted from foot to foot as she waited for someone to let her in.

To her surprise, Pat replied to her text from yesterday. He said they could talk today and it made her stomach go into a flurry. Belle never expected him to respond so she didn’t know what she was going to say. She didn’t even know how she was supposed to act around him now. Things were different.

Before she could overwhelm herself with her worries, she heard footsteps approaching the door. Belle braced herself. She tensed when the doorknob turned. A relieved sigh escaped her when she saw Brian’s smiling face on the other side of the door.

“Belle! It’s been so long, honey. How’ve you been? You doing okay?” He pulled her into a big hug. Belle smiled and hugged him back. Brian Murray gave the best hugs.

“I’ve been good. Thank you.” Belle said. “Is, um, Pat here?”

“Yeah, he’s out back. Doing some pitching practice.” Brian pointed behind him. “Come in. You can wait in his room. He obviously won’t mind.”

Belle laughed uncomfortably with Brian. “I think I’ll wait for him in the living room. If that’s alright?”

Brian’s brows furrowed. Belle had no problem making herself at home here but now she looked jittery and nervous. “Of course, kiddo. You wait here and I’ll go get him.”

She gave him a nod and a smile. If Belle thought standing in front of the house was weird, then she would truly wasn’t ready to be in the middle of it. Surrounded by the things she grew up with but now felt so foreign. Belle sighed and played with her fingers.

“Hey.”

Belle turned at the voice. She drew a sharp breath at the sight of Pat. He had a white shirt on and gray sweatpants with a baseball cap covering his head. His cheeks were a bit red from the physical exertion. Belle found herself staring for way too long at Pat’s handsome face.

_Get a grip, Belle._

“Hi.” She managed to get out.

“Do you wanna...talk in my room?”

“Yeah!” Belle said too, quickly. She tried hard not to make a face at her embarrassment. Pat nodded once and turned to go upstairs. Belle scrambled to follow him. She kept an appropriate distance from him. Then again, what was an appropriate distance from the boy you’ve known and loved for more than a decade.

They reached his room and Pat held the door open for her. Belle’s arm brushed against his when she passed by. Her cheeks immediately flushed. She walked in and took in the state of the room.

It was basically the same as she remembered. Still as messy and boyish since she was last here. The pile of clothes in every corner of the room. The stray baseball equipment scattered across the floor.

“So…” Belle started. “You’ve been practicing for the game?” She asked.

Belle turned to face him. Pat looked at her briefly before averting his gaze. He let out a deep sigh. “Uh, yeah. Finals are coming up and I don’t wanna embarrass myself.”

“You’re gonna be amazing.” Belle said, shyly. Pat looked back at her. They stood in tense silence, just taking each other in. It’d been so long since they were this close. Belle took in all of Pat’s new features.

His hair was longer now. It used to stop just above his ears but now it was hanging over them and slowly going down to his chin. Under his eyes, she noticed that they were darker than usual. She continued trailing down to his neck and narrowed her eyes at the dark spot just by his throat.

“Pat, you have a bruise on your neck.” She stepped closer to him. Her hand reached up to touch it but hovered just over it. “Did you get hurt?”

Pat quickly stepped back like she had burned him. Belle tried to hide her hurt and disappointment. She dropped her hand, dejectedly. “I-I did. It was at practice and I got distracted and got hit by a ball.”

“You got hit in the neck by a ball?” Belle wasn’t believing that at all.

“It’s pretty common.” Pat grabbed his hoodie from the floor. He pulled it on quickly and adjusted the hood until he was sure Belle couldn’t see the bruise any more. He glanced down and cursed under his breath. Belle followed his line of sight and saw a lacy black camisole on the top of the pile of Pat’s clothes.

It obviously didn’t belong to Pat. Nor did it belong to Belle.

“Oh.” Belle nodded, slowly. “You and Tiff, huh?” Pat kept his mouth shut and his eyes on her, gauging her reaction. But Belle’s face remained stoic. Her features, usually soft and sweet, were now hard and cold.

She knew they were together. It was no shock to her since it was all the school talked about for the past three months. Which parties they went to, what they were doing.

With all those rumors, Belle should’ve assumed that they had…

“Didn’t know you two were getting serious.” Belle scoffed.

Pat waited a beat. “What does that mean?” He’d never heard Belle speak with such a sharp tone.

“Nothing.” Belle waved away. She focused on Pat’s room. The baseball posters on the wall. The pictures lining his dresser. Their picture… laying face down on the wood. She bit her tongue.

“You clearly meant something with that so spit it out.” Pat was slowly losing his temper.

Belle jaw dropped. Pat never raised his voice at her.

“I was just… making an observation. Besides, it’s not like we talk anymore so that’s the only way I’ll know anything about you, nowadays.” Belle waved her hands around, exasperatedly.

“You’re one to talk. It’s not like you’ve been spending all your time with Mr. MIT.” Pat snapped.

“Connor?”

“Oh, he has a name.” Pat laughed, dryly.

“Yeah, and you know it. ‘Cause from what I remember you were the one who told me to go to him.” Belle pointed, accusingly. “Remember?”

“But you just ran into his arms so willingly.” Pat smiled, tensely. Belle blinked, hurt by his words. Pat finally emerged from the red clouds in his mind and realized what he’d done. One look into Belle’s teary eyes and Pat knew he fucked up. “Belle-”

“No.” She stopped him. “This...this was a mistake.”

“Belle. I’m so-”

“I shouldn’t have texted you. I shouldn’t have come.” Belle continued. She hastened out of Pat’s room with Pat hot on her tails. Belle was running down the stairs and was already by the front door when she stopped. She turned and Pat saw a single tear sliding down her cheek. “I got into Stanford, by the way. That’s why I wanted to talk.”

With that, Belle scurried out of the Murrays’. Leaving Pat to his guilt.

* * *

Come Monday morning, Belle was feeling the saddest she’d ever been. The entire weekend should’ve been full of laughter and happiness at her achievement but alas, that wasn’t the case. While she put on a brave face so her parents wouldn’t suspect a thing, the second she was alone in her room, Belle crumbled into tears.

Her eyes were just the slightest bit swollen when she woke. It was smart of her to put ice cubes on her eyes before she fell asleep. The swelling was barely noticeable now.

Belle sighed and put in the code of her locker. A turn here and a turn there, the metal door swung open. Belle jumped back when something fell out and onto her feet. She looked down and saw a single red rose.

She furrowed her brows and bent down to pick it up. The rose looked freshly picked. The petals were soft and dewy. Belle carefully touched one gentle petal. A small smile tugged on her lips. It was beautiful.

A card was attached to the stem. Belle turned over and read the sweet message:

_Congratulations! I’m so proud of you._

The printed message made Belle feel warm and tingly inside. She tried to find the sender’s name but found nothing. _Who could it be from?_

“Hey, Belle!” A familiar voice called for her. She turned to face the charming face who the voice belonged to.

“Good morning, Connor.” Her voice was light. She was happy to see him. Connor had been so lovely recently.

“Good morning to you too, Miss Stanford.” He gave her a knowing look. Belle chuckled.

“How’d you know?”

“Your little friend Emily can be a bit of a blabber mouth. Half the school already knows.” Connor shrugged.

“I should’ve known she was gonna tell.” Belle put her face in her hand, the rose hitting her forehead.

“A rose? You got a secret admirer, Belle? I wonder who it could be.” Connor said, teasingly. He smirked at her. Belle furrowed her brows at him. Could he have…

“Wait, Connor.”

“Belle.” He matched her furrowed brows.

She smiled. “Did you… did you give me this?”

Connor paused and looked down, scratching the back of his head. “Y-yeah, I wanted to do something nice for you since I know you’ve been working so hard. Also, I’m just really happy for you. I know this is really important.” He looked at her timidly.

Wow. Belle thought. he could not possibly be real. She found her affections for Connor Davis growing steadily. Belle couldn’t find it in her to keep his gaze. “That’s so sweet, Connor. Thank you. You don’t even know the weekend I’ve had. and this is just… It’s…” Belle’s voice quivered. She met Connor’s eyes again. They were soft and inviting. She smiled again. “Thank you.”

Belle pushed up to her tiptoes and kissed Connor’s cheek. She pulled away just far enough to see his reaction. She noted how handsome he looked like this. Connor’s eyes dropped to her lips. Belle dropped back to her feet.

“Sorry, that was a lot. It was stupid.” Belle apologized.

“No! No. It was… nice. I liked it.” Connor smiled. He took a deep breath. “I like...you.”

“I like you too, Connor.”

“I meant ‘like’ like you.” Connor’s cheeks turned red.

“Oh.” Belle said. Her feelings were complicated. She knew her heart still held feelings for Pat. Could she spare some space for Connor?

“You don’t have to say anything now but I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime? With me?”

Belle breathed. Going out could be fun. Hanging out with Connor could be fun. “That would be nice.”

Connor’s smile widened. “A-awesome! We could talk about it after class?”

“Yeah.” They smiled at each other, excited for the prospect of something new. “Do you wanna walk to class together?” Belle offered.

“I’d be honored to.” Connor beamed.

They started walking side by side to first period. The shy pair glanced at each other through the corner of their eyes. Connor’s fingers brushed against Belle’s. He took a breath in for courage and entwined their fingers. Belle looked down at their hands. Connor’s hands were a bit sweaty and it felt weird around hers.

But it was just nice to hold someone again.

* * *

Pat ran his finger under the running water. There was still blood flowing from his finger. He cursed under his breath. Pressing down on the skin, Pat could see the end of teh rose thorn poking out from under his skin.

Just one more push and he could pull it out. A steady stream of curses came out of Pat’s mouth when he pushed hard on his finger. Finally, the thorn was out far enough for Pat to pull out. He pulled it out quickly.

“FUCKING FINALLY.” Pat exclaimed. He rinsed his bloody finger one last time.

So much effort for one fucking rose.

For one perfect girl.

Pat rested his hands on the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. You really gotta get over her. Pat thought. That was easier said than done.

Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open. “Hey, Pat.” Maz poked his head through the opening. “Is your finger good? We’re gonna be late for class.”

“Yeah, I’m right behind you.” Pat shut off the water and followed his friend.


End file.
